Journal of a lost one

Januari the sixth 2011



Well. This is the first time I write in a book. The first time I write a dairy. And guess what, it sucks. How should i start? Let me introduce myself.

Hello dear dairy,

I'm (should i write my nickname or my real name?) Sweet Scarlet. No, it's not the name my mom gave me. She named me Calinda, but who the fuck is called Calinda. Scarlet is the name which everybody started to use, when I first painted my hair. Blue. I do'nt know why was called that way. It's totally random, right? I'm sixteen years old and I stopped going to school, because it was boring. Now a strange man started to give me lessons. About more bullshit. He taught me (I'm not kidding) how to dream:

He pushed me in my beautiful black chair, that has a nice skull print. "Close your eyes, little Scarlet." I did what he said. Of course, 'cause I'm a quite good listening person. "Do you see something?" "No, my eyes are closed." "Use your imagination, little blue-head." Than it happened. I saw the nicest thing in the world. A hill, covered with flowers and butterflies. On top of the hill stood a cute, small house. I walked to the door and knocked on it. The door swung open. A really hot guy stood there. He had a sixpack and long hair. He smiled at me and wanted to say something, when the old man pushed my chair. I woke up. The stranger glared at me. "You are really a dirty person. I asked you to use your imagination and you dream about guys? Do my lessons work? Are you any happier than before?" I nodded. The Stranger disappeared, but I didn't worry, I knew he would be back.

This has nothing to do with introducing myself. Let me continue. I fell a couple years ago in love with a guy. A really cute one, but there is a problem. He has a girlfriend. And he is eightteen, so out of my reach. What kind of guy likes emos? Emo guys. But he is a.. Dream. No serious. When i was twelve,  I had a nasty car accident. I was a couple days unconscious, and those days were filled with dreams. About him. First I thought, "Oh, it's a dream.", but then I met him. He was going to the same school as I did. Clumsy as I am, I walked up to him and said: "When I was nearby death, you saved me in my dreams." He smiled, stroke my hair. "That's nice. If you are in danger, give me a call. I'll come and save you again." Then he turned around and stepped to his friends. They all laughed at me. I heard him say to his friends: "She just confessed. Kinda embarrassing, I was in her dreams. Isn't that funny? But nobody likes emo girl. Except for emo guys." I wanted revenge and kicked his ass really hard. That isn't something a gentleman does, laughing at a brave woman. That was the last time I've ever seen him.

My family. I'm not sure if I have one. I have something like a mom. But she adopted me. I have no dad. I haven't got any brothers or sisters, but I have a dog. A really ugly one that drools very badly. He smells really disgusting. Oh, I just remembered. I have the stranger. He learns me crappy stuff, but he is an awesome friend and helps me a lot.

I don't know what else belongs in a introduction of a girl named Scarlet with blue hair, a stranger, a slobbering dog and a imaginairy boyfriend (who does exist, but doesn't love me). I guess that's it. So goodbye dairy.

I really don't know why I wrote that, you're just a stupid notebook, but I think a goodbye is always nice. See you later.