The Time You Have Left.

    We were always so busy with life, that we didn't have too much time for each other. Between my erratic hours as a nurse, his business, and unpacking in our new house, there were some days in the week where we didn't see each other at all. I regretted that most of all, but that all changed one day, when I got home from work.

"Hey babe! I got chinese on my way home!" my husband cheerily greeted me with a kiss.

"Oh! thanks babe. I've been craving that all week! I'm just so tired after working since 4 am this morning, I can't cook." I replied graciously.

"I had a feeling, and don't worry about it, love." He winked at me with a smile and handed me a box of delicious smelling food. " You should see a doctor, I think something else might be going on with you."

"I'm so glad I married you! You can read minds!," I joked as I ate. "I did actually, he said everythin seemed ok, but he wanted to do a blood test to update the records. How did you doctors appointment go?"

"Uhm.. do you mind if we talk about it later? I know you have to go back to work later tonight. How about tomorrow on our weekend getaway?". Hearing this took me by surprise.

"Is something wrong?" I spoke softly, concern spreading across my face.

"Oh, no no, they just want to do a bit more testing. You know me," He smiled. "I just don't want you to have to worry more about me ontop of your crazy shifts."

    We often spent our weekends just together, with a bottle of wine and just shut the world out. But, my husband Derek, whom I've been married to for 3 amazing years, has been rather sick for past while. He's always had pretty bad asthma, but lately had been coughing up bits of blood too. He's always been a stubborn man and he doesn't like showing weakness. However, he had been getting worse of late and so I convinced him to go. Ontop of him being sick and all the stress of everything, I seemed to be coming down with the flu.

"Well... OK but, you need to tell me if they find anything serious, please. It's bad enough already, I don't like being in the dark." I cautioned sternly.

"I will even call you at work if I have to."  he promised. "I just don't want you to overheat at work again. That's all."

    Before I had a chance to pout, he started kissing me. He worked his way down my cheek and down my neck right to my favourite spot on my neck. It never fails to get me going. It was one of the best nights of my life, every night with him was the best night of my life.

    The next morning after shift, I came home again exausted from being up all night again. I knew Derek wouldn't be home for a few hours, so I had a nap while I waited for him. Just as I was going to lie down on the couch my stomach turned suddenly, and ran to the bathroom dry heaving. When I woke up he was just getting in the door, strangely enough he looked a bit dazed.

"You ok babe?" I asked sleepily, still pulling out of my nap.

"Hm? Oh, yeah. I was coughing up blood today at work and Brando took me in to the hospital and they took blood tests there. I'm sorry I meant to call you earlier, but I left my phone at work."

I snapped out of my grogginess at once.

"Are you ok? Did they say anything? How'd you get home? I questioned him alittle more loudly than I intended.

"Yeah, I feel fine. They said it could be pneumonia, they were testing yesterday for cancer, and they scheduled me for more breathing tests to see if I have emphysema. They're pretty doubtful about that last one though." He replied. "I got home on the bus; I left you the car today in case you might need to get to work suddenly."

That was my husband, he always put me in front of himself, I've always admired that about him. But, today I felt differently about it.

"How come you didn't tell me this yesterday?" I demanded suddenly feeling a small surge of anger.

    He walked over and sat down beside me on the couch, he pulled me close. He put my head on his chest and leaned back and said

" I'm sorry, I would have told you right there and then, but like I said I didn't want you to overheat at work."

"But-"

"Would you really want someone to tell you the day you die? Or would you rather just live out whatever time you have left with your loved ones?" he interjected suddenly with a passionate look in his eye.

    For the first time in three years, I had nothing to reply to him with. I was absolutely speechless, but he was right.

"You know what Karen?" he suddenly said.

"What?" I cooed.

"That wine is giving me a look, you know the one that says 'drrriinnkkk meeee Deeerrreeekkk, drriinnkkk meee'." he goofed.

"Hahaha, Alright, let's crack it open with some dinner." I laughed back.

" Hey Karen?" He said suddenly with concern.

"What is it?" I replied cautiously.

"I have to go now, love. I'll see you soon." he said softly with a smile and love in his eyes.

    He kissed me one last time on my favourite spot on my neck and held me tightly. Suddenly, I woke up on the couch and Derek was no where to be found. Then out of no where the phone started ringing. I went into the kitchen and just barely made the last ring.

"Hello, Derek?" I asked the caller on the other end.

"No It's Suzy." said frantically.

Suzy is my best friend and a fellow nurse at the hospital I work at.

"Suzy? What's wrong?" I asked concern rising in my chest.

"You need to come back to the hospital right away.... It's Derek.. he's.. gone." She sobbed.

".... what?" I spoke softly through my own sobs as the tears began free falling from my eyes.

    He had died while he was at work, his funeral was a week later. Many people were there to mourn his passing but, this story does not end on a sad note. A few days later, the doctor I had seen called me back. It turns out I wasn't sick at all and a part of Derek lives on. I wish with everything I have he were still here. But, I don't miss him as much anymore because I still see him everyday. In the sparkling blue eyes of my son.