Love Letter to Self

Dear self,

I'm sorry for starving you
And introducing you to weed
I'm sorry for making you drink
And lowering your chances to succeed

I'm sorry for cutting you
I'm sorry for the pills
From Percocets to Adderall
I thought would give you thrills

The friends you lost
And true friendships I destroyed
The chaotic family life
That you now try to avoid

The rumors and negative images
That now follow your name
I really can't direct this at anyone
Because I am the one to blame

No, maybe it's not only me
But perhaps the media and TV
But it's the weakness and damage
That's allowed it to proceed

Therapy, strangers
Thoughts and tears
Have run through your life
In only a matter of two years

This is what you wanted
Or at least I thought you did
But now that I've given it to you
You want to hide it under a lid

Conceal it safely
So no regrets can escape
But your regrets are your past
And now you can only create

Create a new beginning
And start all over again
College is coming up
Your life has yet to end

I know I don't hate you
But you do hate me
I created this monster
You never truly wanted to be

You are beautiful
Someday I'll make you see
I want to come back to you
Because you were and always will
Be everything to me

Stay in there
And keep your thoughts true
Because one day you'll realize
I really do...

Love,
You.