Loss Of A Dream

It all started a long time ago when my husband and I started to plan for our retirement. we planed to move to WA state. It was a cooler climent, which we loved. At the time, we lived in the desert of So. CA, where in the summer the temps rose to 120 eaisly. Our air conditioning bill was $500.00 a month if it was a dime. Water in the desert was expensive too, easily $100.00 a month if you want to try to grow anything. so we lived on half an acre of dry, desert dirt, with weeds growing, hot, windy and totally depressing low life neighboorhood. We dreamed of a better life as soon as we could escape, and we chose WA state, way north, in the area called "the blue hole". Hidden behind a large mountain, the rain, commonly seen in Seattle dosen't hit here much, its called a rain shadow area. paradise is what we felt we had found. Cheaper to live, dear roaming in our yard each morning, it was a sight to behold, and a compleatly different life style which we adore.
Well they say that there is no paradise on earth, and I guess that is true. My husband was forced to retire two years before we expected. CA was in a housing recession and we couldn't really sell the house we had paid off, because we wouldn't get as much as we wanted for it, so instead of selling for a lower price, we put our adult daughter in there and left. We came to WA and quickly bought a lower price home than what we had dreamed of, which in time, I began to resent. After spending years planning and actually arguing with my husband about this new dream house, we didn't get a thing that either of us wanted anyhow. Our daughter in the three years lost her job and was unable to ever pay any rent. We were so stuck, that by now, almost three years later, we have ran out of money. We have begun to think we have to leave and go back to the desert.
We have to give up one of the two houses. We won't get a dime out of either house to sell at this time. It appears we have to walk away from one of them, so if we have to start over, we think we should start over where its the cheapest.
So the past ten plus years have been a huge waist of time, planning and who knows what else. I am emotionally spent. What has this all been for? What on earth is Gods plan for us now???


well, another year has gone by, we are still in Wa state, and my daughter is still in our CA house. Our daughter is now married and expecting another child almost anyday, a girl who they will name Samantha Mae'.

In November of 2011, I lost my Father, I was expecting to bring my Mother to WA to live with me, but she didn't want to come. She is living alone, at the age of 90, but my sister is checking in on her almost everyday.

I still don't know what Gods plan is for us here in WA, but I am more at peace with it now than I was when first writing this piece, I know everytime I visit CA, I feel like I can't wait to get back to WA out of the overcrowded, over heated and overt
taxed state. I Hate CA. I try and try to get different people to move here. I have exp tryed to get a good friend here because of the services that are available to her and her disabled son. Her money would go further, and we could do things together and go painting again. I am tired of defending my new home state of WA. If others don't want to see the beauty of this place it is totally their loss, but honestly they do not know what they are missing. But as for me and my husband, we are thankful to God for all he has given us, even if its not everything we wanted, we are way better off and we are in the best place in the whole USA.