Love will never die

Her name was Arianna. Every day she visits this place. This place is where she feels the safest and feels closer to the one she loves. It’s really beautiful, this place. The grass is perfectly green, and the flowers always look like they are re -planted every day. Even on a rainy day this place is perfect. Just last year Arianna asked if she could place a bench nearby so she would have a place to sit down when she visits for a long period of time. She was there the day we put the bench in; she asked it to be white. When I asked her why she wanted the bench to be white she told me that for her, white signifies hope and purity.  So there sits the bench, right next to the one she loves, or used to love. It’s hard for her to get over the past tense. She has been coming here for five years, ever since he passed. I talk to her sometimes when I am out doing the daily clean up chores. You can say that I am the one keeping this place ‘perfect’. I first met Arianna the day he died. It was the biggest funeral I have seen. He was in the military and he had a lot of friends and family. It is always sad when I attend the funerals, but this one was something else I haven’t seen. It was like I knew him personally. I started to go over and find a seat but then, I saw her. Sitting there in the front row, but she didn’t move at all through the whole thing. Even when people talked to her, she just sat there with a blank gaze starring at the coffin. Her makeup was smeared like she had been crying for days; her blonde hair was straightened, and pulled back into a black pony tail. She wore black, like everyone else, but she stood out. Her dress wasn’t fancy at all, it was a summer dress. Simply, she was just beautiful. After everyone started to leave, she still just sat there. I was wondering why she wasn’t leaving like everyone else. I got up and walked over to her and sat down. I asked her how she knew him. When she told me, the way she was acting made total sense. The person Arianna was burying was her older brother. I felt so sad about the whole thing, I didn’t know what else to do, but reach out to her and hold her hand. I did so, and she held mine back. Her hand was so soft. I asked her how he died, and she said that he died when he was patrolling out in Afghanistan and was shot in the head. Like before, I didn’t know what to do, and I was already holding her hand, so I gave her a hug. When I hugged her, she smelled like baby powder and her hair was soft too. She hugged me back, and she held on tight as if she knew me for years. She whispered in my ear, and her voice was trembling. “My name is Arianna. Thank you. This is what I needed, most people try to say something but they don’t know what to say.” Ever since the funeral, I see Bailey every day at her brother’s grave. I ask her why she comes here so much, and she said, “This is the only place where I feel safe and when my brother was still alive no matter where he was sent to he would send me letters and let me know everything was alright. And now that he is dead, I don’t feel safe anywhere but where he is.” After she told me this, I felt like I was obligated to tell her that everything was going to be alright. I talk to her every day, and every day we get closer and closer. Five years later we sit on the bench and we talk, we talk about her brother and how she misses him more and more each day. We talk about her school work and how she still cannot concentrate, we also talk about me, but I’d rather talk about her. When I met Arianna, she lit my world on fire. It was always hard to believe that someone as beautiful as Arianna would want to talk to me. It’s been the best five years of my life and I was going to tell her that I love her.  I sit here, in awe and denial, that I am actually attending her funeral right now. We talked every day, and I, not once, saw a sign of suicide. I just saw a girl who missed her brother dearly. To this day, I sit on the bench, next to her and her brother, and I just ask why. Why did the girl I love, have to take her own life? Why didn’t I ask her to marry me? Why didn’t she let me know something was wrong, I would have helped her? I still have questions, and I ask her these every day. I make it my priority, to keep this place perfect, and not just because it’s my job. I do it because Arianna loved it, and it made her feel safe. I still want her to be safe, even though she is gone now. I will love her, always. I wish I had the chance to tell her.