The Different

Repressed memories and cold coffee was all I could think about. Photo after photo, reminding me of the moments that made life. Life before, compared to life now, was bizarre. The faint memory of Jess touched my consciousness. The image of her strawberry blonde hair and deep brown eyes illuminated inside my mind, and I stroked the photo that sparked that memory. The only one left, before it happened. I remembered now. I remember the flames, the fear and the fascination. Everything that had shaped me, created my world, had cremated in front of me, and I allowed it. I bit my lip and dropped the photo, unwillingly my face started to scrunch up and my fists clench. I remembered why I didn't want to remember. Guilt; it plagued me whenever I thought about that day. Anger erupted inside me when I remembered the guilt. Then sadness followed after anger when I realised there was nothing that could be changed. The coffee cup shook in front of me as my anger grew, and just like clockwork, the overbearing desolation then enticed my soul. I did nothing, I could have saved everything. The depressing memory of that day lined my existence forevermore. The tiny river trickled down the slope of my cheek and spilled over onto the table.I took another sip of my coffee, forgetting it was freezing cold. It seemed strange, that over a short period of time, even coffee changes. I decided kneeling on the floor whilst drinking cold coffee and crying about a photo of a past friend, seems unnecessary. I held my tears in and swallowed my sadness, enough was enough. Besides, it’s Showtime soon.

“Time to rehearse”, shouted Catherina from outside the door.

Rehearsal annoyed me. I doubted I needed it, who can they compare me to? I was the only one of my kind. In fact, performing became rather tedious after a while. Walking towards Catherina, I wondered about the dance moves she insisted I repeat on stage.

“I’m not dancing,” I announced as I coolly passed her, leaving the room. Some men would call Catherina sexy, I, on the other hand; would call it an overconsumption of Botox and silicon.

“We have already discussed this Amelia, you will do as I say or do no more,” she demanded strongly whilst trying to maintain my pace. This was clearly a bluff; she had no power to dismiss me.

“Right, I will defiantly dance for you master,” I teased. I loved pissing Catherina off. Her brow line dropped and her eyes squinted, vaguely resembling a primate. “Just do what you want freak, it’s not like anything anyone says could change it”. I was glad I could read her thoughts sometimes; I liked to mess with her. “Freaky, aren’t I?” I said with as little emotion as possible, it was hard to suppress the laughter rumbling inside me as I observed her facial expressions: from primate, to deer in headlights.

But I should give Catherina some credit. She wasn’t as dim as to let them pass her; in fact, she was the sharpest spoon I knew. I smirked at my own insult, she gave me a disapproving look,

“Don’t go off daydreaming now, you perform in 2 hours, you need all your concentration.” Her lectures always bored me. Our relationship was like that of a grumpy school teacher and an unmotivated student, neither wanted to be there, but neither had a choice.

“I know my abilities better than you do, strangely enough,” I retorted. Catherina muttered something to herself, the words ‘stubborn’ and ‘bitch’ caught my ears, before she resigned to an awkward quietness. We both knew the other did not appreciate the company.

The click-clack of her stilettos along the large marble hallway started to irritate me; I broke the silence. “Never try to start a fire” I stated with all the wisdom I could muster. She observed me as if I were an environmentalist killing cute forest critters. “Just so you know”, I reconfirmed. She made a low, dull pitched hum. I had done an excellent job in antagonizing her today.

“I don't know what to make of you” she finally decided after another long silence. “Please don't make anything out of me.” The sincerity of my expression caused Catherina to consider my plea seriously for a few seconds, before she realised I was teasing her again. She shook her head and continued to lead me wherever I was going. In the excitement of it all, I had forgotten to ask where exactly she wanted me to go.

“Where is it we’re going captain?” she didn't answer me. I attracted attention to my question by opening every door down the hall way as I walked, which was the main corridor to the other performers rooms, each was quite in shock when I opened their door and answered “Nope, not here”.

“Alright, I’ll tell you” she finally caved after the latest victim of my personal space invasion threatened to call security. “Oh you’re still here” I pretended, she ignored my comment,

“We’re going to somewhere you’ve never been Amelia”.

“Narnia!?” I exclaimed overdramatically whilst opening a nearby broom cupboard.

“Just follow me and control yourself” Catherina sternly demanded. I had gone overboard in dismembering her organised day; I retreated behind and let her lead me. Not without the occasional annoying word or two though.

We entered a room at the very south of the building, it looked the same as all the other rooms, cream walls, dark blue carpet and strange old fashioned light switches. A small dark table was positioned at the very back of the room, and behind it, a man. I couldn’t make out his facial features from where we stood in the door way, all I could see was his dark hair. As we walked closer, the only noise that could be heard was the light pat of Catherina‘s heels on the carpet. An intense atmosphere manifested as the man did not stop staring at me. My light playful mood now evaporated, and cautiousness replaced it.

“Ah, Amelia” he said whilst looking me up and down, “ it’s taken far too long for us to exchange greetings, but I would be willing to wait longer for someone like you” his crooked smile at the end of his sentence suggested this was not a friendly visit. I felt like an object to him, a collectable. I could sense it. I stood in front of the table, awaiting a confirmation.

“It’s rude to stand”, the man seemed serious. “If you haven't noticed,” I started, “there aren’t any other chairs”. I knew I sounded defensive; this meeting seems of great importance for events to come, I wanted him to know I wasn't planning on going quietly; wherever I was going.

“Quite wrong you are,” the man had that same crooked smile when I walked in the room, “why, there’s one right behind you”. I looked him in the eye, I knew this was no bluff, he was too confident. I smiled politely and slowly sat down, without taking my eyes off the man, I would not let his games get to me. Sure enough, my confidence in his words was met by a rather comfortable chair. A sense of relief rushed through me, though I didn’t dare show it. I wanted him to be the one in surprise.

“You judge well, or are just lucky.” “I can spot a lie as much as i can spot a truth” I confirmed confidently. I would not ask questions about the magically appearing chair, that’s what he wants me to do. Besides, stranger things had happened to me. I tried to read his mind, just one word would be enough, but disappointingly I was met by vacant shadows of thought. My eyes twitched slightly out of frustration, but I managed to keep my composure. This was not a good situation, I could feel his power, it was something I had never felt before – soulless, the only word adequate to describe it. Catherina was standing in the corner with worry, it was obvious she had no idea what was going on.

“You may leave now Ms. Bevirearie, your husband requested you be home early tonight remember?”
"H- how did yo-" She stammered, but decided exiting the room wiser. The man leaned forward once Catherina had left; he placed his elbows on the table and touched the tips of his fingers together, slowly pulling his hands in and out as he stared straight into my eyes. His eyes hungry for me, he wanted to know more. I did too.

“What do you want?” I asked without taking my gaze off his deep brown eyes. “Well”, he started, that same crooked smile slowly forming through his thin lips, “I’m bored with normal people, I want something different”. “Like me” I finished his sentence. “Possibly” he answered, “or maybe you’re just like everyone else”. He was playing me. There was no way he would find me just because he was bored. “Don’t lie” I plainly stated as I began to stand up, “I have to go, my performance is soon”. “NO!” he yelled as his face began turning a dark shade of pink, “you will not leave until I say so” he finished more calmly, his hands spread palm down on the table. “Who says I can’t?” I strongly but quietly stated. No one ever tells me what to do. I lowered myself back into my chair, and critically examined his face for a moment, he had deep forehead wrinkles, I guessed his age to be around early fifties, his nose was quite an obvious feature, it stuck far out from the rest of his face, yet his thick dark brown hair gave him a very gentleman-like look. “I’m going to leave” I told him like I was addressing a two year old, “and don’t follow me”. I got up before he could say anything and walked at an even pace across the room. I would not be scared of him.

I stopped in front of the door, put my hand on the door knob and tried to swiftly open it. The door knob wouldn’t budge. I fiddled with the knob for a few seconds before I heard him laughing. “You’ll never get that open” he told me “you’re powers aren’t as strong as mine”. I focused my energy on the door, and began to imagine it opening. I closed my eyes, concentrating the image of the opening door in my head, and put my hand back on the door knob. It began to slowly twist before it locked up the other way and wouldn’t budge. “I’m never wrong” the man stated from behind me. I looked back at him with just my head, “that’s wrong” I answered. Then without much thinking, I focused my energy on the wall just beside the door, pushed my hands on the wall and with a loud thud, a perfect rectangular door shaped hole was made in place of where the wall had once been. I stepped out into the hall and walked away. No one ever controls me.

I expected him to put up a fight, but he didn’t. He didn't do anything. I didn't even know his name. I kept walking, at a slightly faster pace. I was shaken, but not beaten. This is definitely not the last you will see of me. I stopped in mid step. That thought was not mine. He’s toying with me.

I walked back to my trailer at a slightly quicker pace than normal. It would be lying to say I hadn’t been shaken up. I had felt such power from that man. Dark thick clouds surrounded his thoughts, I couldn’t penetrate them. This only meant one thing, I must get stronger. I must be better than him. I reached my door and opened it with slight caution. Nothing had changed. I collapsed on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I closed my eyes, trying to focus my energy. Imagine a deep thick light cloud. I told myself. A deep sallow fog shrouded around my forehead. Now I had a new trick up my sleeve when that man bothers me again. I sat up rather slowly, and summoned my hair brush. My long blonde hair had become tangled in plaster from the destroyed wall. I brushed it without using my hands, then, set the brush down on a nearby table. I had about an hour before my big show. I was more worried than usual, but the show must go on.