Critics

“I am the best and sharpest critic of my own work. I know myself what is and what is not well written”
-Anne Frank

Critics are everywhere,
In my life at least.

Parents
Teammates
Friends
These two guys sitting next to me

They pummel my work with comments that mar my spirit
Crush my soul
So
So
Hard.
The time, the heart, the thinking that I put into my poems
That I put into anything.
Is just ignored like it’s nothing.
So that the critics can do their horrible, disgusting job.


I can’t blame them
Or anyone
Everyone has an opinion
Its only fair for them to voice it
But
As much as I despise the critics surrounding me
the biggest
Most influential critic
The one that makes
So
So
So many wet tears slither down my face
The one that judges my doing with no emotion, no feeling
Just apathetic, harsh words

Is me.


The hardest part
Is knowing that I’m wrong.
that I need to change
I start arguing
with myself.


“Lauren this is wrong, you need to start over, new and fresh.”
But, Lauren, I just spent hours and hours on this and I poured my heart and soul into it”
“I don’t care”
“No one cares”


But I change it anyways.
And the Lauren with no emotion
Is satisfied.
And so
So
So am I.

I know.
That this poem will have many revisions.
And it still won’t be good enough for some.
They will make me feel like I am a terribly lost writer
In a world of great ones
.
I feel so discouraged.
So
So
So Unhappy.

I’m positive.
That even though the critics scare me
I will have to face them.
Let them boss me.
Tell me I’m wrong.
Fix Me.


And I will have to face myself.
And I will be frightened
Of what I, myself have to say.
But in the end.
My poem will stand proud.
and stand out.
And It will be good.
Not the best for everyone.
“Not your best work, Lauren”
“Lauren, did you rush this?”
“Change this and this and this”
Then I will.
And my work will be better than good.
It will be great.

-Lauren Amaris