Meet the PGI Sisters

Tuesday, 3:42 p.m. “Hi!” Jen said as she greeted Cydney. She was to arrive at the Rho Gamma Iota house at 3:45. “Just leave your bike here. Come on in.”
Cyd was in awe of the cozy abode of the ΡΓΙ house. “Wow! This place is awesome!” she exclaimed as she observed the LCD television, Pottery Barn furniture, ornaments from the four corners of the globe, and paintings from the most renowned artists. “This place looks too classy to be a sorority house!”
“Well, that’s the thing about Rho Gamma Iota,” said Jen. “Our purpose is to stand out for the good of the individual. Don’t touch that!” Jen swatted Cydney’s hand as Cyd was about to pick up an onyx pyramid.
“Allow me to introduce you to each of our ΡΓΙ sisters.” In the living room was Chelly, watching TV, and Martha, doing the Su Doku puzzle in the newspaper. “Meet Chelly. She’s my right-hand woman in ΡΓΙ affairs.” Chelly was the tallest woman, 5’ 11”, of the sorority. Her long, brown hair was neat and straight. She had a flawless olive complexion. And her sultry, brown eyes and narrow mouth always made a cool, calm expression.
Cydney shook Chelly’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Chelly. I noticed on the brochure you spell ‘Chelly’ with a C.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Isn’t that a little pretentious?”
“Is that so?” Chelly replied sternly, meaning Cydney must have asked the wrong question.
“Uh…I, um, I didn’t mean it that way.”
“Well I suppose your parents make you spell your name with a C ‘cause they can’t lay of the marijuana!”
“No, no! That’s not…”
“Good luck joining our club. You’re gonna need it.” Chelly then resumed watching TV.
“Okay,” said Jen. “Lemme show you to Martha.” Martha placed her newspaper and pen on the coffee table to meet Cydney. She had a slightly dark skin tone; no telling if her ethnicity was black, Hispanic, Mediterranean, Middle Eastern, or perhaps Filipina like Cydney. Her wavy, shoulder-length hair had brown highlights. And her icy blue eyes beautifully stood out, a rarity for a person with her genes.
“Hi, Martha!” Cyd said, shaking Martha’s hand. “How are you?”
“I’m good. And you?”
“I’m okay. I like your eyes.”
“Why thank you.”
“So your name’s Martha?”
“Yep.”
“I thought old people had names like that.”
“Huh?” Chelly answered. And Jen saw that Cyd was 0-for-2 in pleasing the ΡΓΙ women, and with three more sisters to introduce.
“Uh, I’m not saying that you’re old. It’s just that…um, not a lotta girls, I don’t know a lotta girls my age named Martha. I mean, um,…are you okay with…I assume you’re okay, you like your name.”
After appearing insulted for a second, Martha asked, “Jen, can I finish my puzzle now?”
“Yes you may. Let’s continue on, Cyd.” And Jen yanked Cydney’s arm on their way out of the living room. But Cyd squeezed in one more bit of conversation.
“Well, there is Martha Stewart. Maybe you’re named after her. I mean—“
“Let’s go, Cyd!”
“Ow, ow, ow!” Cyd said as Jen pulled her ear.

As Jen and Cydney entered the kitchen and then the dining room, Jen asked, “So tell me, kiddo. Do you have a lot of friends?”
“Huh? What do you mean?” Cyd sat at the table while Jen sought a glass of water.
“I mean, do you normally piss off those at a gathering like you have with Martha and Chelly?”
“Well…um, I’m kind of a, um, wallflower. I’m a bit shy.”
Jen sat with her and sipped her drink. “If I can recall from your application, you were home-schooled.”
“Yeah.”
“What was that like?”
“Well, to put it bluntly, my Dad—as my teacher—has been so far up my ass that his mustache tickles my throat.”
Jen laughed, actually denoting a positive social moment for Cydney. “That’s good, Cyd! Where’d you learn that from? A sitcom?”
“Actually, yeah.”
“Does your Dad know you say such saucy remarks?”
“Well, my Mom does, and she criticizes me about it. She says it isn’t ladylike.”
“Uh-huh. Your Mom educates you on social graces?”
“Umm, she gives me tips. But it’s not like going to grammar or charm school or anything like it. I hate it, though. It seems old fashioned.”
“What do your parents do?”
“My father is a mechanic and owns a few garages in suburban Honolulu and my Mom teaches psychology at Chaminade University.”
“Wow. You must be a well-privileged girl. You also a bookworm?”
“Yeah. That’s why I like it when my Dad teaches me stuff instead of my Mom. We like to, like, discuss science and history and stuff.”
“You have a lot of friends growing up?”
“Not really. My closest friend is my cousin Kenneth, who’s fighting in Iraq right now. And a lot of the people I know in my neighborhood are families I’ve babysat for.”
“Didja meet anybody here at San Vicente?”
“Just some guys from my statistics class.”
Jen finished her drink. “Okay. Cydney, why do you really want to join this sorority?”
“Didn’t I tell you already? In the application?”
“Oh you know I can’t expect to learn everything about you just on a piece of paper. Talk to me about it.”
She was still hesitant. “Uhh, how should I address it to you? I, I mean, uh, do I uh, talk to you like you’re the club president?”
“Maybe. But you also must know that if we let you in, we’re gonna be friends. Sisters, of course.” Jen addressed her with such poise and warmth yet Cydney did not completely accept Jen’s present demeanor. “So tell me…Cydney. Why do you want to join us?”
Cydney looked Jen in the eye, kept a firm jaw, and cautiously replied, “I…want…to…make something of myself.” The two girls then heard a faint remark of “an ass!” in the background. Jen saw over the kitchen counter that Martha and Chelly were eavesdropping and the two left.
“Pardon Martha and Chelly,” Jen said. “What do you want to make out of yourself? Wait. Hold on. Let’s try this. What…do you wish to accomplish with us?”
“I…want to accomplish teamwork. And I also want to, um…establish a strong connection with my peers.”
“What do you perceive this sorority to be?”
“Huh?”
“Whaddaya think we’re like? Are we like the typical sorority? Are we, like, stuck-up or arrogant? Are we outgoing…”
“I would like to think of Rho Gamma Iota as prestigious.”
“Prestigious. Really?”
“Uhh…yeah.”
“Could you elaborate on that?”
“I…think, I consider your institution to be, um, exclusive.”
“How so?”
“Well, your sorority house isn’t near the others on campus. You also have, like, the fewest members.”
“Well then, you shouldn’t expect ΡΓΙ to give memberships to just anyone now, am I right?”
“Umm….I think so.” Cydney became a little more nervous because she thought Jen was not going to green-light her on the spot.
“Is something the matter?” Jen asked her, examining the fear in Cyd’s eyes.
“N-no. What…I mean, what makes you think that?”
“You sound like I’m not going to give you membership.”
“Really? I…uh I don’t think that’s true.”
“And why is that?”
“Because….because I think that…I…can provide a challenge for you.”
Jen folded her hands and asked, “What kind of challenge?”
“That I’m not as stupid as I look. That I’m not a pushover. That I don’t get most of my knowledge and experience by reading books and following statistics.”
Jen gave a sly look and replied, “Talk is cheap, Miss Calagayan. You just better know what the hell you’re getting yourself into as you try to survive our sorority.”
Cydney was surprised upon learning that she could join the club. But when she reacted, her nerdiness was again displaying. “Really? I’m in? Neat-o!” Jen then gave an annoyed expression to her.
“I mean, uh, thanks,” Cyd said to sound serious again. “I appreciate that you’re, um, willing to take a chance on me.”
“Hey, aren’t you really the one taking chances here, kiddo? After all, do you think your parents would like spending your tuition on something like Rho Gamma Iota?”
“Well, just how much would this cost?”
“I don’t think you need to know about that right now. What you do have to know is that our initiation process is very rigorous. It’s ceremonial as much as it is assessing for potential sisters. Pain, fatigue, and humiliation are key elements during initiation. But the elements that come afterwards are respect, loyalty, and integrity.”
“I will do my best, Jen.”
“Yeah, whatever. You need to go visit Chelly. She’ll give you information on preparing for ΡΓΙ initiation.” Just then, two more Rho Gamma Iota sisters, Jaclyn and Bonnie (aka Andalucia), arrived. Andalucia asked, “What’s she doing here?”
Jen replied, “Cydney is here ‘cause she’s interested in joining our club. Right now I’m introducing her to each sister. Cydney, I’d like you to meet Jaclyn and her girlfriend Bonnie, who prefers to be called Andalucia.” Jaclyn, 5’9”, was dressed in a light blue athletic ensemble of sweatpants and a sleeveless tank top that showed her bellybutton piercing and toned arm and ab muscles. Her medium-length chestnut hair collected in a scrunchy. “Nice to meet you, Jaclyn,” said Cyd.
“The pleasure’s all mine,” Jaclyn replied in an Irish accent.
“Hey, you’re Scottish! I mean, I think, I think you sound Scottish, right?”
Jaclyn answered, “I’m from Ireland, you damn moron!”
“Oh! Pardon—my bad! I mean, um…ever kiss the Blarney Stone?”
“No, but I’d rather you kiss my arse if you’re done talking!”
“Heh heh! Of course! Uh, walked right into that one! Heh heh. Ummm…”
Once Cydney brought her awkwardness to a relieving silence, Jen spoke up. “So Jaclyn, won’t you introduce Andalucia to Cydney, if you will?” Andalucia was half a foot shorter than her life partner, yet she had some slightly big features, from her Jewish nose to her chest to even her upper arms. She was in a white tank top with a right bra strap showing and a black mini; she looked like she was dressed to play tennis, which she was.
“Hi, Andalucia!” said Cyd as she shook her hand. “That’s a really unusual name!”
Andalucia could only respond with, “Yes it is, um, Cydney.”
“So…how’d you, um, come up with that? Were you born there?”
“No, I lost my virginity there.”
“Was it to her?” Cyd asked, pointing to Jaclyn.
“No. It was a guy. I didn’t come out of the closet until I was eighteen.”
“Is that why you look all buffed and stuff?” she asked. And now Cydney annoyed a fourth Rho Gamma Iota sister.
“What? What the ₣&ℓ# is that supposed to mean?”
“No, no! I’m not, like, making a stereotype on lesbians and such! That’s not, that’s not what I’m trying to say!”
“So what are you trying to say, huh, sweetheart?”
“Uhhhh…I’m…saying that you, uh, you are…a, a display of diversity…you, you know. You’re…you’re one of a kind.”
Andalucia folded her arms and gave Cydney a disapproving glare. “You’re really funny, you know that?” she commented with icy sarcasm. “Just how do you think you can keep your witty ass here in this club without pissin’ off everybody for one minute?”
“Uhhh,” Cyd replied with a nervous and incredibly foolish grin. “Is this gonna be on the um…the test, if you…have…one?”
Jen came in between Andalucia and Cydney to settle down emotions. “Okay, Bonnie, give her a break,” she told her. “Why don’t you and Jackie go watch some television?” Jaclyn and Bonnie (Andalucia) walked away, muttering caustic opinions and making funny expressions about their prospective ΡΓΙ sister. Cydney remarked to the two, “It was really nice to meet you guys.” She hoped that that was the least insulting or embarrassing thing she’s said to any of Jen’s women.
“Come along, Cydney. You still need to be introduced to one more.” And Jen and Cydney were headed to the backyard to see Candace.