Mom

“Mom’s acting weird again.”  Tammy said, walking into the kitchen and snatching the bag of chips from my grasp.

         “Jesus Tam, Get your own!” I snapped.

         “Like you need them anyway with that ass” She picked out one golden chip and flicked it at me.

         Some days I hate my sister. I wave her away as she starts making faces at me and I head for the door.

         “I wouldn’t go in there. The world’s energies are out of balance and the earth is crying and writhing in pain. We’re all doomed.”

        I pause for a second and glance back at Tammy. She’s not making faces anymore.

        “Doomed? That’s pretty extreme.” I said, trying to smile but failing halfway through.

        “God, why is she such a freak. Maybe we should just have her committed or something. I don’t want her crazy rubbing off on me. I have a life.”

        A half life, I thought. Always pretending, always acting and always afraid of what was going to happen next.

        “I’ll take care of it Tam, just go…do something.”  I step away from the cheerful yellow kitchen where my sullen, angry sister sits and turn to face the darkened living room. I don’t want to go in there. I don’t want to see.

          It’s afternoon, but the lights are off and the curtains pulled tight so just a sliver of light cuts through the room. As my eyes take some time to adjust I hear her breathing gently. At least she’s calm. It’s been a rough couple of years after dad died. Mom just sort of unraveled. At first she tried everything, counseling, religion, pills, art, but almost as soon as she picked something up she’d drop it and move on to the next thing. Always moving and searching for anything that would make her feel…okay again. Recently, she turned to metaphysical studies, philosophy, astrology, aliens, Ouija, mystical energies. She’s started painting bizarre pictures and saying things that, well, things that people just shouldn’t say.

      “Mom, are you alright?”

      “Hey sweetie, come here.” She reached out for my arm and pulled me into a hug. “I’ve missed you. It’s been so long.”

      “Mom, we live together. I see you every day.”  I untangled myself from her embrace and looked into her face. “We need to talk. You’re freaking out Tammy and you haven’t been to work in over a week. I mean, have you called them?”

      “Come look at my new painting, Cassy. Isn’t it beautiful?” She gestured to her easel where a blank canvas sat.

      “Mom, there’s nothing there. Look, we really need to talk. You need help. We need help.”

      “But don’t you see; that is the painting. It’s what’s coming next. Your father told me so.” She smiled and reached out to pet my hair. “I’m sorry I scared Tam, I was scared too. I didn’t understand at first but now I do and it’s going to be all right.”

      “Look, I’m going to call grandma. She can come help us.”

      “But we don’t need help Cass. And Grandma couldn’t do anything anyway. Don’t you see, It’s the end. The end of everything. Your father told me so. We just need to sit and wait. It will be very soon now.”

      I pulled away from her and stared.

      “I didn’t want it to end Cass. I was afraid for you and Tammy. You’re so young that you haven’t gotten a chance to live yet. But I had a long chat with your dad and in the end it’s better this way. This way you don’t have to feel pain like I’ve felt. He says it’ll be quick. The ground is going to swallow us whole and we will be one with the Earth again.” She sat back and smiled. The first real smile I’ve seen on her face since dad died.

        I shook my head and started backing up slowly. My chest hurt, something inside was twisting up, tightening into knots. No, this could not be happening to us. She can’t really be this bad.

        I fumbled blindly for the keys hanging by the door, unable to take my eyes from hers as she smiled serenely back at me.

         “Mom, we’re going to go now. I’ll get you some help” I half whispered.

         She only smiled wider.

        “Tammy” I yelled, “we’re leaving, now!” Running to the kitchen I grabbed her arm and pulled her off the stool.

        “Hey, what the hell, Cassy?”  But I didn’t stop; ignoring all protest I dragged her to the car, threw it in gear and peeled out of the drive. I didn’t slow down till I was nearly at the end of the street. Everything outside was so normal; Neighbors mowing their lawns, children playing tag in yards, sunlight shifting through brilliant green leaves. Inside my knuckles were white and bloodless from their chokehold on the steering wheel and my insides where cracking and ripping apart.

        I pulled up to the stop sign, and not having anywhere to go, I let the car idle. It was quiet and calm; I took a deep breath and looked at Tam’s stricken face. I wish I could make it all better for her.

        A cloud passed over the sun, throwing everything in shadow and a loud noise cracked open the stillness. I gasped as the earth began to tremble all around us and I grabbed Tammy’s hand. Outside didn’t look so normal anymore. I felt the car lurch violently to one side, getting a glimpse of a yawning black hole opening underneath the car. And we fell, down, down, down, swallowed up whole by the earth.