In A Room

I sit and wait. I sit, and I wait. For what? Nothing? Or is it something? FUCK, I haven’t the foggiest. Yet, I remain patient. I remain patient and experience the one thing that is feared most. The thing, that makes grown men cry and children tremble. I guess you could say that it is overwhelming. Yet, I remain patient. I remain patient, and continue to experience an overwhelming surge of fear.  For you see, it is the unknown that people fear, and loath. It is the unknown that’s the reason for the season.

This room smells like feet. It is covered in cheap wood paneling.  Several cheap paintings are crookedly nailed to the wall beyond. The room is poorly light, and drafty. It is also fairly large. I’m fairly sure if I made the slightest noise, it would echo throughout. I clear my throat. I was correct. Damn acoustics.  I look out of the window, and see limbs bustling against the window beside me. I am fairly sure that it is about to rain. I extinguish my cigarette in a potted plant beside my uncomfortable chair.

I hear a door open across the way. I hear footfalls, and see a shadow growing closer. I hear heavy breathing. The kind of breathing that you would hear from a WWF wrestler after a double header with Hulk Hogan, and Randy Savage. Then, before me, stands a woman. A large, bristly one at that. She stands there peering into my eyes with a smug look on her face. It takes all I have to not say something like, “Excuse me bitch, but do you have a problem?”  But I don’t. I keep my cool. I sit there for a few more seconds, and then look away. The thought of her overpowering make-up, and the smell of her cheap perfume angers me more. She finally speaks, “You’re not allowed to smoke in here!”

I blow the remaining smoke from my lungs into her fat face. She scoffs and walks away.

I haven’t the patience, or time for your petty rules lady. I have things to do, and people to, well, uh, you get the point. I’m too damn tired to think. I’m too damn tired to breathe. I’m too damn tired to do anything but sit here, look out of the window, and smoke my new cigarette that lay burning between my fingers. Energy is not in abundance these days. Especially for someone like me. I take a drag, and exhale loudly. I can hear the fat lady release a cough. Obviously, intentional. As to give me a hint about my smoking. I give her the silent finger then continue to do what I please.

As I enjoy my cigarette it starts to rain. I once again look out of the window. The branches impact the window harder, and harder. The wind is blowing wildly. Pushing the rain onto the window fiercely. As I sit watching the rain I notice my ability to think has returned, and I fall into somewhat of a daze, a,” slumber” if you will. If I may be so bold, I would like to point out that I have not always been like this. I used to be happy. I used to be a different person. Yet, I have no control over anything at the moment. For the simple fact, I happen to be sitting.

Sitting, in a room.