Toot!

Toot!
By Richard Fay

         "It's time Mr. Netel! She doesn't have long left". The voice on the phone said. There was a long pause "Mr. Netel"? "Are you there Mr. Netel"? Finally, I responded. "Ok I am on my way down". I almost couldn't move. I was in my study. Sitting in my not so expensive but truly loved and used chair. It felt like all of the wind in my body was gone. I couldn't hear or see a thing, even though I knew my eyes where wide open. This is the one phone call I knew was coming yet somehow thought would never happen. I heard something, a voice from the other room "Josh"! Tina came into the room carrying a bushel of clothes she had just taken from the dryer. "Josh who was that on the phone"? I looked at my beautiful wife and, she knew immediately. "Ok" she said, "I will call the Thompson's next door and see if they can watch the kids". We had discussed what was happening over the last few months and knew without saying what we were in for tonight.

         Having gotten the kids squared away with the neighbors and a few things put in the car we started to pull out of the driveway. When I stopped and remembered I might need some documents. Tina said, "what's wrong Josh"? I told her about the documents, and she said "already got them, they are in my bag". I paused and, a tear came down my cheek "ok good". She put her hand on my arm and said "that's it."! "You are not driving, put the car in park and get out I'm driving today". I started to protest but thought better, when Tina said she was going to do something you better just get out of her way.

         On the road now we began the 20 minute drive to the hospital. Tina was making her way through the early rush hour traffic and doing an excellent job if I do say. Whoever said women are lousy drivers had never met my Tina she effortlessly eased her way in and out of traffic without breaking a single traffic law.

         I stared out the window as we passed some businesses along the highway. It was then that I saw the sign and immediately I was taken back to a much earlier time.

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         I was so excited! Today was the day. All week long mom had been promising she would be taking me somewhere special. The possibilities seemed endless to me. Was it the movies? Was it the mall? As I was sitting at the window of the school bus, on my way home, we passed by so many places that it could have been. I was on overload. My friend Charlie sat beside me on the bus humming away to whatever tune was playing on his iphone. I was kind of jealous of him. We simply couldn't afford "toys". That's what my dad called anything that cost more than 10 bucks.

         I decided to turn my attention back to the window, and my mind began to wander with all of the different possibilities. The bus pulled onto my street, and I said goodbye to Charlie and few other friends and got. I ran all the way up to our third floor apartment. We lived in what some would call a bad neighborhood, but it actually wasn't as terrible as some of the places I had seen on TV.

         I put my book bag down by the door and took of my shoes. I went into the living room and immediately knew that dad was home. The smell of stale beer was strong in the small living room. He was passed out on the couch mumbling something that I couldn't understand, something about the turtles. I never know what he is saying when he is like that. I sure could never make out anything resembling sense. "I guess he won't be coming with us tonight" I thought. That was ok with me. I always had more fun when it was just me and mom anyway. She always knows just how to make me laugh.

         Like the time, we were at the beach and dad passed out in the sun. He had forgotten to put on sunscreen and was cooking like a Thanksgiving turkey in a deep fryer. Mom called me over from my elaborate sandcastle I was building (or at least as elaborate as an 8 year old can make by himself) she said, "Let's teach your dad a little lesson". She produced a bottle of sunscreen from her bag and preceded to spell out a word on dad's chest. She said, "I saw this in a movie once". When dad finally woke up grumbling about his sunburn the people on the beach started pointing and laughing at him hysterically. I of course thought this was hilarious, and mom and me had a marvelous time finishing my sandcastle while dad went back to the room to recover from his burn. One thing about dad he isn't really one of those "mean drunks" like I sometimes hear from friends or in the movies. He just work's a lot then drinks a lot and comes home without his pay sometimes. My mom say's he only get's mean when he drinks whiskey, and that doesn't happen much. Sometimes they fight, and I usually hide in my room reading a book or watching TV. I don't really worry about mom she is the toughest woman I know and dad usually doesn't do anything but say things like "I'm sorry hun". "I know I messed up" "I only had a couple of beers". Then he would go to bed to "sleep it off". Man he sure can sleep my mom says "he could sleep through a nuclear war". I believe it. Sometimes when I want to watch TV in the living room I try everything to get him to move, and he just mumbles "ok" and turns over.

         So today I didn't even bother trying to wake him up I just went to the kitchen and got a pop out of the fridge. My teacher says that it's called soda pop in other places, but in Pittsburgh, we call it pop. I am allowed as much as I want because my mom says, "you are trustworthy Josh, just don't drink to many, or you will be bouncing off the walls".

         I tried that last summer. I drank 6 cans of Coke in just under an hour. I only succeeded in giving myself a whopper of a stomach ache and a pain in my side from trying to bounce off the wall. I figure mom must be mistaken about the whole bouncing off the walls thing. Now I make sure I only have 1 can a day usually after school.

         After getting my drink, I headed to my room and turned on the computer on my desk. It was an old one and some of my friends from school made fun of me for it, but it did surf the net and that was OK by me. I immediately went to my email and checked a few from some classmates. I wrote back to a few including one from Sarah who had sent me a picture of her from a piano recital she had done recently. She wrote, "Just for you muahs". Muahs? What does that mean? I knew she liked me, she was always trying to sit with me at lunch and on the bus. I simply wanted nothing to do with her. She was from Fox Chapel the rich side of town, and her dad was some kind of lawyer downtown. I thought maybe she was pretty. But I honestly couldn't imagine ever doing anything but teasing girls. I though I would send my friend Matt a message and ask him if he knew what "muahs" meant. Matt knew everything about girls he was the first kid in school to tell us about what happens with guys and girls. It actually sounded gross to me, and I certainly didn't want to think about that today. So I thought more about where me and my mom would be going tonight as I waited for his reply. Could it be miniature golf? No, it was too cold for that. Could it be to aunt Carole's? I loved my aunt Carole she was simply the best aunt anybody could have. Even though my mom says she isn't technically my aunt I still loved her. She always had a smile and a cookie for me. My Uncle Jack was one of the funniest guys I ever met. He had all these ways of making fart sounds with his hands and arms. Aunt Carole would always say "Oh Jack stop it". But she was smiling when she said that. I hoped it was to my Aunt Carole's, but then I remembered my mom had said "Someplace we haven't been in a long time," So it couldn't be my Aunt Carole's. Just then the little bell that signaled a response to my message rang. It was Matt responding. "Dummy Muahs means kisses" "lol" "Josh and Sarah sittin in a tree K. I. S. S. I. N.G.". "LMAO".

         "Oh yuck" I yelled and started making spitting gestures towards the ground. "Yuck, Yuck, Yuck". Just then a voice from the kitchen said, "Yuck what, are you ok"? It was mom! I hurried out to the kitchen and gave her a giant hug. She said, "Hi hunny". "Hi mom" I replied. "What is with all of the yuck, yucks"? I told her about the picture of Sarah and what my friend Matt had said. She just smiled and said "Someday you will wish someone would send you kisses". Then she kind of turned away and looked out the kitchen window for a minute. I think that sometimes she gets sad when the subject of love comes up. Not wanting to see her sad I volunteered "Well when I move away someday you can send me kisses in the mail mom". She smiled and grabbed me and pulled up my shirt and started making raspberries on my tummy. She said, "but I want to kiss you know". I giggled and said "come on mom I'm too big for that now" She said, "yeah I know but to me, you will always be my little Joshy". I secretly loved it when she called me that but didn't let on because after all I was almost 12 now and didn't want anyone calling me Joshi anymore.

         " So where are we going mom"? She said, "I told you, it's a surprise". "Not even a hint" I protested. "Nope you will see when we get there. Now go comb your hair and put on something respectable while I go get ready". "Ok mom".

         After stopping at Ponderosa for dinner which I loved especially for the sundae bar. We got back in the car and mom said "Ok you ready" boy was I ever, but I tried to be cool and said "sure whatever mom" She pretended to look sad and said "Well I guess we could just go home, I'm kinda tired anyway". "NOOOO, I was only kidding mom, please lets go I promise to be good". She smiled "Ok I guess we go to then". We pulled out of the lot and headed down the road that's when I saw the big sign. FUN WORLD. I couldn't believe it! Fun World was awesome or at least that's what I had heard anyway from some kids in school. Fun World had everything a kid could want. They had bowling, laser tag, cool games, roller skating, indoor miniature golf and even ice cream. Not the kind of ice cream mom buys at the grocery store but the truly good stuff the soft stuff you get at amusement parks like Kennywood. Fun World was the closest thing to the large amusement park Kennywood we had in our small town. We would go to Kennywood every year for our school picnic, but that was only once a year. Fun World was close to our house but, we couldn't afford to go very often.

         We pulled into the enormous lot of Fun World then got out of the car. Mom said "now you stay beside me, you don't have to hold my hand but stay by my side". We went through the big automatic doors into the building and immediately I could hear a familiar song playing over the speakers. I had heard that one of the best things about Fun World was the music. We went over to the main desk where a friendly girl greeted us. We got our bowling shoes and found our lane. I typed our names in the computer, being better with "techno stuff", as she called it.

         The last time I had been bowling, I had to use a really light ball and bumpers, but being almost 12 I figured I was too old to use bumpers now, and I had realized that I had graduated to a heavier ball. My first throw was a disaster the ball landed right in the gutter and immediately jumped over into the next persons lane. I was horrified it felt like I had just committed an unforgivable sin. I turned around fully expecting to get yelled at. Only to find her laughing hysterically. I was confused for a second but then as I realized what had just happened I also started to laugh. We were still laughing when an attendant came over to retrieve the ball. My mom apologized to the kid and to the older guy who's lane I had thrown the ball into. The worker just smiled and said "happens all the time, don't worry about it". The man didn't look so happy but went back to his lane grumbling. My mom just looked at me and said "toot" that sent me into more laughter.

         Earlier at the restaurant we were sitting at our booth waiting for the waitress to bring us our drinks when from behind I heard a sound that was so obviously somebody passing gas. I looked back and saw the back of a man who was eating and talking to his wife at the same time. He didn't genuinely seem the least bit concerned that he had just broken wind, and truthfully I wasn't even sure it was a fart until the smell hit us. That's when mom said, "let's check out the salad bar". She then got up walking towards the center of the restaurant. I said, "but mom did you hear" she just kept on walking, and when I finally caught up to mom she didn't seem to acknowledge that she had heard or smelt anything. It wasn't until later when the man had left did she start with the "toot" jokes. Every time I would move in the booth the leather would make a sound, and she would say "toot" at first I was mad, but then I got the joke. I realized that she was just being polite when the guy was still there, but she found the humor in it too.

         So reminded of the restaurant and the guy I went back and picked up my ball still giggling and managed to knock down 6 pins this time after 2 tries. Mom went up and got a strike on her first try. I said "hey" she laughed and said "your father and I used to go bowling a lot before you were born". This made me more determined than ever to get back up and bowl. Of course, this resulted in another gutter ball but thankfully it stayed on our lane this time. I did eventually get the hang of it though and managed to put up a 104 score which I thought was pretty decent at the time anything over 100 sounded reasonable to me. Mom did beat me on the first game, but I got her the next although, I suspect she may have let me win. We finished and moved on to roller skating, then miniature golf, finally to the game room where I won myself enough tickets to buy a bubble gum bank.

         On the way home eating a chocolate ice cream cone. Mom was quiet. I was on cloud-9 this had been one of the best times I had ever spent with mom and combined with the junk food and ice cream I was in a great mood. We pulled into the parking lot for the apartment building. I started to unbuckle my seat belt I wanted to run in and get online to tell Charlie and Matt about my night but, mom said to stay in the car she needed to talk to me. Uh Oh! What did I do? I immediately thought about the whole night and anything that I could have done wrong. Aside from throwing the ball into the wrong lane. I couldn't think of anything else. Still I was a little worried.

         I looked over at her and noticed there was a tear in her eye. I froze this was something important. She began "honey you know last week when we went to the doctor for your checkup"? How could I forget it was terrible. The doctor was mean, the nurse smelled awful, and mom was late picking me up. "Yeah" I said. "Well you know how I was late, and you asked me if I was ok. I told you I just had to sit down for a minute" "Yeah but you said you would be fine in a minute, and you were we left. Then we stopped at McDonalds and I got a burger". "What's wrong mom you're scaring me, are you sick" I asked. I had heard about cancer from a show that I watched. The mother got cancer and died leaving the main character to take care of his brother's and sister's. I started to cry a little. This couldn't be happening. Not my mother. Not my whole world.

         She said, "no no sweetie" "It's nothing like that" she paused and said "you are going to have a little brother or sister". "WHAT"? I had always thought about having a little brother. Somebody I could take to the ball field and teach how to play baseball. Or a little sister to tease like my friend Charlie who always said he hated his sister Alyse but actually loved her. I said, "really mom" with a big smile on my face. Then I realized she wasn't smiling. "Then why are you crying mom"? I was genuinely confused. She said "your father lost another job last week" I already knew that. He was always losing his job. I did not understand then how difficult that must have been for my mother. She broke down really crying now and said through her tears "I just don't know how we can afford another child right now" Being the ever helpful son I said "Don't worry mom I will get a job and take care of you and my brother". She smiled "sweetie you are not old enough to get a job" "I know", I replied, but Matt has a paper route, and he says he makes $40 a week" I didn't have any real concept of money at that time, but thought $40 a week sounded like a lot. She said, "I'm sorry honey I shouldn't have burdened you with my problems you shouldn't have to worry about these kinds of things" "It's ok mom that's what I am here for" She smiled for the first time in awhile. "So what do you think we should name him if he is a boy"? I had the perfect name from my favorite video game "Snake" I said. She laughed "snake huh, I will have to think about that one, what about if it's a girl"?

         The conversation continued as we went into the apartment building and upstairs. Me giving her ever more silly names and her laughing.

         My brother Timothy or (Timmy) as I called him was born later that year a very healthy and happy baby. I did, in fact, get myself a paper route and tried to give my mom money as much as I could. She always refused. Saying "that's your money, you worked for it. You save that for college" and sure enough when I was 18 she gave me access to a bank account she had set up for me and between papers and other jobs I did as I got old enough I had saved almost $6000. A nice start toward college. I know that she tried many times, but we never were able to do things like that day again. Timmy required a lot of work, and I did my best to be a good, older brother. Mom had to work 2 jobs sometimes, and dad even kept a job for 3 years once before he was fired for sleeping on the job. Time went by, and I went off to college. I met Tina and had kids of my own. I still kept in contact with mom and she was able to spoil my kids like any loving grandmother.

         Last year, the exact thing that I had feared in the car that day happened. Mom was diagnosed with Lymphoma a deadly cancer. I insisted that she move in with Tina and I, dad having passed a few years ago she was all alone. She reluctantly accepted and as her health grew worse we took care of her the best we could until finally 2 weeks ago we had to hospitalize her and I began to realize we were going to lose her.

         Walking in to the Oncology department at any hospital is an unpleasant feeling even if you wound up there by mistake. But getting out of the elevator knowing you have a loved one there is a dreadful feeling I hope most people never have to experience. Standing in the doorway was one of mom's doctors and he briefed me about what might happen over the next few hours. I don't think I actually heard a word he was saying. Tina asked a few questions while I slipped inside.

         She was full of tubes and machines beeping all around her bed. I went over to the bed. I put my hand on her head and grabbed her hand with my other. "Hi mom". She roused a little and opened her eyes weakly and smiled seeing me. She tried to say something but just couldn't quit manage to get anything but a whisper out. I said, "It's ok mom, you rest, I'm here". I moved the chair next to the window over to the bed and sat down. Tina came in and sat on the edge of the chair holding my hand. Tears just dripping out of my eyes. I thought about the car ride over and said "Mom do you remember the time me and you went bowling". She smiled and managed to say one word "toot". I smiled through my tears "yep toot".

         Mom passed a few hours later while I held one hand and Timmy the other. We made arrangements, and she was buried in a nice cemetery not far from our house. The other day I had Tina and the kids in the car when we drove by Fun World. It was still there although they had renovated and changed some from when I was a kid. I pulled into the lot and parked. Tina said, "what are doing, what about the grocery store". I said, "groceries can wait". I turned back to the kids and said, "Did I ever tell you kids about the time me and grandma went bowling, and the guy farted" They giggled at the word fart and said "no,". As we went inside I shared the story of me and my mother they laughed at the goods parts, and we had an absolute blast.

I love you mom.

The End.