Broken-Hearted Home

She could hear them yelling as she pulled up and brought her car to halt. Her hands fixed on the wheel she watched the window fog up with her tense breath. She paused for a moment; closed her eyes and listened before she daringly plodded towards the war ground she could no longer call a home. Homes are for families. She sat no less than forty yards away but could still make out their words. They were replicas of deafening accusations and insults that had long ago fused into the chambers of her mind. He tells her she’s selfish and worthless. She tells him he’s disloyal and distant. They wouldn’t hear her unlock the door and ascend the stairs to her room. They wouldn’t know her pain and they wouldn’t wipe her tears as they flooded down her face onto the sheets, stained by myriad nights like this one. She dropped the evening’s clothes from her body and slipped into the security of her bed. She tucked her worn out body into her sheets as if she were a corpse and prayed she would get some sleep tonight. Please God, just this once. She glanced at the crack in the door that once led to a room that was not empty but filled with the life of her big sister. No one would have ever known she existed if it weren’t for the unimportant possessions she’d left behind; a frame featuring her childhood portrait, high school year books and awards, and infinite torn-up books for when she needed to get lost somewhere far away from here. Dana always knew how to run away. She had perfected the art of escape. The clock struck three am. It had been a long night; she had been the last person to leave the party in hopes that by the time she got back her mother and father would have lost the verbal fuel to light their fire. But the were still going strong as she sunk her head into my pillow tried to breathe. She searched in the dark for her headphones, tucked them in her ears and turned the volume all the way up. She let Elliott Smith take over and dozed off the words she knew too well: “and everybody can see I’m no good…when I’m walking out between parked cars…with my head full of stars”.