The Woodchuck

I kneeled there on the grassy knoll on a warm sunny January day in Maryland, and I was alone and crying over a woodchuck that I had picked up on the road. The sky was beautiful light blue, and the warm wind gently dried my tears on my face, and tossed my mousy brown bob hair in all directions, including the strands that had dried to my cheeks.  The strands that were dried onto my cheeks from the tears. I was all alone and there was ring in my ears of the emptiness of silence, and vast emptiness and ache in my heart, as I felt all the sadness and the lowliness in the world, the suffering and pain of all other of our other sentient beings, our co-species - whales, elephants, orangutans whose babies witnessed the slaughter of their mother who in her last moments defending against those who ripped her baby from her arms; innocent sentient beings, chimps, ferrets, bunnies, mice and rats, who have the same neurophysiologic structures make, and have the capability and to experience pain and emotional anguish as us, and yet have no voice so endure in silence, leaving this world, with their only and their last experience no one cared, and that's it, and that is all they all they experienced in this walk earth.



    But today was different, I petted him as he lay there from his head injury, I looked at the side of his face, he had been hit on the head by a car, and if he would have been a member of our species, he would have gotten more attention, and ambulance would have been called. Why is there a difference between his life and our lives? What is the difference? There is no difference between his physical wounds, pain, and emotional history. This living creature is a being, an entity with a identity of self, not just a piece of biological automaton robot, responding to his environment only by instinct, but through his emotional data bank of learnt experiences, fear, pain, joy, pleasure. Not much different from us. What lies before, that I cry over, and feel his pain, is not just a piece of biology, but a biography. A life, his responses to his environment, that are uniquely his, learned and stored in his emotional data bank - his preferences and choices he made, according to his emotions and preferences, which also give rise to him being unique, having certain preferences, a personality. Not any different than us, but yet,

Our species drives over him as if not all of this existed, some do not even bother to swerve, and run him over, inflicting further pain and anguish. How would this be, if it were your last dying moments? Why does it have to be his?



When I picked him up off the street, his eyes were open. The accident just must have happened, because the blood from his head, against the black asphalt of the street had not even started to coagulate yet. His body was still soft and warm. I used plastic bags to pick him gently, and placed him in a carry tote paper bag. I knew where I was going to bury him. Usually, I have a little spot picked out in a woody area at the end of our development; it is like my little shrine.



I started picking our co-species that have been killed on the road for about two-three years now because I could not stand to drive by them anymore, because I wanted to honor their life and their experiences. It is our race that has claimed our species is superior to all others - species centrism; the only difference between our species and other species we co-habit the planet with is a label - a label created by our species to create a difference. However, in spite of this, the only difference our species has created was philosophical difference. On average, we share about 80-90% of gene similarity between our mammalian co-species, and there is only 1%, or gene difference between our species and the chimpanzee. Therefore, they have many of the same neurophysiologic brain structures as we do, therefore their responses to pain, joy, suffering, and caring for their young are pretty much the same as hours. Why can't we emphasize the similarities between us, and view them philosophically as our co-species, co-species that we share the planet with them, not to dominate over them.



As I kneel there, on the grassy knoll, I became aware that the dampness of the winter grass from previous snows began to soak through my knees on my sweat pants. I continued to cry, heartfelt sobs, over this poor living thing, who I kept thinking how his last moments must have been for him, as he laid there in the middle of road, scared. I looked into his eyes, and somehow he did not appeared be dead, I continued to pet him, and I felt a pulse. He was alive...and I saw it though his eyes...I looked closer into his eyes...they were soft brown, and I looked upon his face again, noticing how the blood had started to dry and coagulate, how yet he lay there still, on his side, with his forepaws up by his face, but his eyes gave it away, he was alive -and still aware feeling what was going on. His eyes glistened; they were moist, moist with emotion he must have been feeling. I gave him comfort then, I petted him and cried over him and told him that I cared for him and his life, and that I was sorry he was hit, and I told him not be scared, of what was happening now.



I just knelt there, alone on the side of the hill, thankful the sun was shining warm on my back, and on the grass, it was so peaceful and serene as parted the big tuft of prairie like grass apart and exposed the dark moist brown earth below. I gently placed him into his resting place. I continued to pet him, because I could still feel a pulse, I would stop when I did not feel one anymore. I continued to talk to him and pet him, and wanted to make sure that he knew I was his friend, and that he was not all alone. That I cared for him. I was thankful for the sun, and its warmth, and I let the sun shine upon him before I would cover him up with the grass. I gently moved him again, his head, and petted the top of it, and I continued to cry, sob. I hope this didn't scare him. But, then it happened, he left. He closed his eyes, he was gone. His pulse took about a minute before his heart stopped beating. I was there for him, he knew love before he died. I was comforted by the fact that I was there for him at the last conscious moments of life as he knew it, and all he knew at that point, was that someone cared for him, enough to remove him from the road, and place him here, and he felt me cry for him, and care for him. The gentleness of my strokes as I patted his head, and the sound of my voice, telling him everything is ok, and not to be scared. When he knew this, he closed his eyes. A sentient being had died, a biography of life, which doesn't deserve to die in the middle of the road, unrecognized.



That was my defining moment for me, in all of my 47 years, I have never felt how cruel and indifferent our culture, our species, is towards our co-species, and how dominate them and encroach upon their habitat, destroy the resources of the earth, and steal it from future generations, and most of all, how could a species, our species be so cruel to one another, and to our helpless co-species, who have a different wisdom and understand of life, one that is older than ours, not tainted by superficial emotions and ego, how could we torture them in animal experimentation, or poach and kill mother elephants defending their young, while the young witness this heinous act, and how could our species abuse animals, willfully, bestiality torture - even the Supreme Court of the United States, practicing speciescentrism, using a double standard, when it outlaws child pornography, and hold no redeeming value for this type of conduct/speech, but yet, finds redeeming conduct in "animal crush" videos, where women with stiletto high heels crush small bunny rabbits and cats, and allows this kind of speech some 1st amendment protection all because of speciescentrism? The idea that our co-species don't deserve the same level of protection against conduct like this, that they are allowed to be crushed alive underneath stiletto shoes, or set on fire, just because they are not a member of our species? Crush video's of humans, human babies, or acts of torture against humans, murder is prohibited. Why is there a difference, is there pain not the same as ours?