How many people can you cram into a saucer? |
Misses Robinson is doing her laundry with the NASA washing machine. It cleans and drys and folds. She sighs and stares out the portal at the endless void of space. The Robinsons have been lost in space for 3 years in their tiny saucer space ship. It was all because of a stowaway Doctor Smith. He was paid by a rival saucer company to sabotage their mission. Now, he is trapped with them. "Miss Robinson I .. have something troubling." Doctor Smith said. Misses Robinson turns to him with a basket of laundry in her arms. "Oh, Doctor Smith, what is it now?" she answers with a frown. "Well, it's Will and Penny.. I don't know how to put this. I found them together in .. bed." the Doctor widens his eyes at Miss Robinson. Her jaw drops as she slowly puts down the laundry. "I-think your over reacting. They-they were probably napping." she stuttered. A hasty family meeting is called. Mr. Robinson presides, "Will. Are you having sex with your sister?" Will looks over to Penny and she shrugs yes. "Oh my God." their mother gasps. Misses Robinson puts her hand in Mr. Robinson's hand. They had been warned about the effects of long confinement in space travel. They had hoped their children would have shown more restraint. "Alright. This is not going to be ignored. NASA has provided us with contraception." Mr. Robinson responded in a commanding voice, "Your mother and I realise that you are in puberty and this is a difficult mission. So. If you are going to have sex use a condom." Mr. Robinson hands Will a package of condoms. "Thanks.. dad." Will responds in a chipper voice. "I'd really like to have sex with Major West." Penny giggles. "Back off! That's my man!" Penny's older sister snapped. "Oh..man." Major West rubs the back of his head. Mr. Robinson pulls out some contraception pills. "Your mother can show you how to use these Penny." his voice trails off. "Great let's all have an orgy." Major West remarks sarcastically. "Belay that attitude!" Mr. Robinson commanding voice returned, "Will and Penny have every right to express their sexuality. If we are going to be stuck out here, then this is their only option other than masturbation.. Have I made myself clear?" Penny pockets the pills. "I don't want to upset the apple barrel, but I'm gay. Do I have any options?" Doctor Smith smirks at Major West. "No! Oh, maybe one, the airlock!" Major West shouts. The tiny saucer spins its way onward lost in space and family values. (*)(*) |