Errant Pitch

“This is illegal, isn’t it?”  Lisa giggled as she nearly slipped and fell on an icy spot of the street.

“What? Walking down the middle of the road?” Ann shrugged her shoulders. “Probably. But where else can we walk? There’s a foot of snow on the sidewalks.”

Lisa picked up a handful of snow and fashioned it into a snowball. “ No, silly. I meant being intox … intoxi … drunk.” She threw the snowball clumsily at Ann.

Ann and Lisa were walking back to the dorm from a downtown bar frequented by college students. A blizzard had dumped a foot of snow over the area, closing down many businesses and the entire college campus. The enterprising owner of the bar was busily shuttling students from the dorms down to his establishment in his 4x4.

The two girls had been drinking for the last couple of hours and had decided to call it a night. Not wanting to wait for the ‘shuttle’ to return, they had decided to walk the mile or so back to the campus. Both were both decidedly tipsy and feeling full of themselves in the clear, wintry night.

Before Ann could answer, Lisa packed another snowball and threw it at Ann. Ann ducked and the snowball sailed past her and into the open window of a Jeep driving past, hitting the driver.  To their horror, the person exiting the Jeep and walking toward them was a police officer.

“Who threw that?” he demanded.

Lisa tried to look contrite as she admitted she launched the errant snowball. “It was an accident, officer.”

“Have you girls been drinking?”

“Yes, officer. But we aren’t drunk driving – we’re just drunk walking.” Lisa gave him her prettiest, flirty smile and winked. “Can you give us a ride back to the dorm?”