Dear Me

Dear Me,

Dear Me, Screw You.

Dear Me, beer is a de-motivator.

Dear Me, what if instead of having a novel under your belt at 37, you end up with cancer and die wordless.

Dear Me, screw you.

Dear Me, beer is a de-motivator.

Dear Me, writing's not a chore. Leave your ego at the door. It's all about the flow, you just got to let it go.

Dear Me, Screw you.

Dear Me, Beer is a demotivator.

Dear Me, last year you were so fond of saying "remember 'when', not remember 'what if'" but what if you had have got your merde together earlier and used some of that manic creative energy to read a book on writing and then write one yourself?

Dear Me, Look, screw you.

Dear me, Beer, is a demotivator.

Dear Me, don't you think you own enough "how to write" books now? You've only ever finished one (Plot and Structure by James Scott Bell). It was good. You plotted out a novel and surprised yourself with how well you took to it. But isn't all this outlining another form of procrastination? How many novels do you have outlines for now? 7?8? Or is it -

Dear Me, Screw you. Screw you. Screw you.

Screw Me, beer is a demotivator. I mean screw you, beer is a demotivator. I mean, dear me, beer is a demotivator.

Dear Me, so what if your brother wrote prolific stories about American superheroes from the ages of 13 to 17. He's smarter then you what did you expect? He has a mind that is born for rational thought and excels in an academic setting. This is why he went to university to study French so he didn't have to get a job. If you take a moment to concur, you'll realize that what you've always lacked in knowledge you have made up for with insight.

Dear Me, Like, he was a child prodigy, and you thought you should be one too?

Dear Me, SCREW YOU. Beer is the demotivator. And this is meant to be your line not mine. Beer, is the demotivator.

Dear You, baise-moi. Mangez la merde et c'est fourrer avec les deux mains. Cher moi, se faire baiser. Va te faire foutre. Je ne donne pas une baise. See, I know some French too.

And you're right, beer is a demotivator and you're right, why don't I try the year with out it and see how it affects my motivation. And you're right, I do remember when - and I loved every moment of it, even the dark years embrace. And you're right, I do remember the what Ifs. The perfect fodder for the year of short stories I am planning for 2014. Once, I get a few more text books under my belt. And if I do die of cancer at 37, with or without a novel under my belt...well, my dear, we'll both be screwed.