Bittersweet Fate

Bittersweet Fate

“It may take years or a lifetime before I can get over this pain, but that will only prove how much I love you.”

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“I’ve always wanted to go to Paris.” I said to Matt as I pointed it on a map. He was just sitting beside me, but he didn’t reply. I tapped his shoulders but his eyes won’t leave the business report on his hand.

“Did you hear me?” I tapped him again.

He stopped reading and look at me. “Yup.”

“Everything I said?”

“Every word.”

“Don’t lie.”

“You want me to repeat everything?”

“No,” I replied angrily. I know he wasn’t even listening to a single word that slipped from my lips . He was busy reading a report from his client, how can he even hear me? My thoughts were suddenly interrupted when he tapped my shoulders.

I tried to smile. Ever since, we started dating, he gave me nothing except during special occasions. I was even not sure if he does like me, but when he convinced our parents to let us live together even though we're not yet marriedwas obviously a sign that he truly likes me. Even though I was a bit mad at him, I continued my talk.

"Do you remember that violet sundress I told you? The one displayed at the Smith Boutique? Well, someone bought it and that is so sad. I want it badly." I turned to him and he was still reading. "Hey, were you even listening to me? Matt!"

"Wait-- Erika, I'm--"

"Put off work for awhile."

"I can't."

"At least, you're coming tonight at mom's birthday, right?"

“Erika, I know that we spent weeks just for planning your mom’s birthday tonight, but…” his voice trailed off.

“Go on.”

“I can’t go.”

“What?” I was surprised because we were both very excited about this day. I was getting angrier now, but tried to play cool.

“You see, an urgent meeting came up at 8.”

“Cancel it.”

“I’m sorry. This one has been called by one of our most important business partners.”

“I know your job is very important to you, but sometimes, consider the feelings of the people who believe in you.” That was the last thing I said before I closed the door behind me.



Days after that incident, I have noticed that he had become busier. Everyday he’d bring more papers from work and a gloomy face that never smiles anymore. As time pass by, more papers came and a sadder face too.

I wanted to ask him what was wrong, if he wanted help or something like that but I decided that it’ll be better if he tells me by his own will. Surprisingly, he actually does but deep inside, I wished he never did.

It was that day, when I was fast asleep, curled under my blanket, when there was a knock on my bedroom door. I opened it and it was Matt.

“Why are up so late?”

“I need to tell you something.”

“It’s already dawn. You can wait till morning. I’m going back to sleep.”

“This is very important.”

“Is this about the business falling apart, or you want to stop living together, or maybe, the company has gone bankrupt or perhaps I've replaced by a new girl in your heart? I will listen to those talks tomorrow, right now, I need to go back to bed.”

“No, this nothing of those is true. Erika, just, please, listen to me. Give me five minutes.” I took a jacket from my closet and stood next to him. “Only five minutes, okay?” He took my hand and led me to the dining room. We sat across each other.

I could feel the cold air around and wrapped the blue jacket closer to my body. I studied the patterns of the table cloth while waiting for him to talk. He was just sitting there, looking down. I didn’t want to start the conversation but I think I have, too. Just when I was about to say something, he interrupted me.

“Let’s get married.”

“What?” I could feel cold water splashed on me. Is this for real?

“As soon as possible.”

“I would love to. But, why are you in a hurry?”

“I--, I only have a month to live.”

I looked at him straight, but he looked back to avoid meeting my eyes. I felt hot  tears rolling down, gently, but swiftly, on by cheek. I bit my lips to stop myself from sobbing really hard, but instead I cried even harder. I cleared my throat and tried to fake a laugh but my voice just cracked.

“You’re joking, right?”

“I’m serious.”

I was, then out of words. I wiped my tears off with the skirt of my nightgown and breathed in deeply. “I wish you were not.”

I looked at his eyes and can see the sadness flowing in it. “November 6, two weeks from now, let’s have our wedding by that day.”

“I’ll only have two weeks as your wife then.”

“That’s okay, for it’s just a word. Wife. But in my heart, you were my wife ever since then, serving me every day of my life.”

I was very touched by what he said. It’s true, I’ve been his wife ever since. I crumpled the table cloth, but softly let it go, and asked him. “ One month, right? Can’t you even add a day to it? Or even a second?”

He looked at me straight into the eye, and a tear rolled down from his right eye. “Will you be alright without me by your side?”

I didn’t answer him for what he said hurt me a lot. I ran back to my room and cried and cried. I spilled all my tears and pain on my soft bed. I didn’t notice that the sunshine has come in my window. 

I rose up from the bed, even my eyes were still stinging with pain. I washed my face and as I look at the mirror, I didn’t know who I was then. The girl standing before me has swollen eyes and funny-looking red nose. My hair was a mess and my robe was hastily tied showing my black nightgown, contrast to my white pale skin. My cheeks which used to be rosy and bright are now light and a bit dark. My lips which always curl into a huge smile is now pouting helplessly at the reflection on the mirror. I can’t help it, what have I done to myself?

At first I was so sadden by my looks, of how I have changed that I almost forgot of the reason of the tears I’ve shed. Matt. What happened to me? Why bother about my looks when the person who I want to see the beauty in me, won’t be with me? What use are those beauty products if Matt would say goodbye? Once again, I cried hysterically, almost out of air. Somehow, I managed to stop sobbing when Matt knocked on my bedroom door.

“It’s me.”

“Come in.”

He turned the knob and when he came in, I was a bit surprised—no, not a bit, I was shocked.

He was wearing a white shirt, shorts and slippers and was carrying a tray of breakfast for me. He was smiling, although it was not obvious because of the whiteness of his lips. His face too was very pale except for the dark circles around his eyes.

“You looked so tired.”

“I am, tired from the things to be done in the workplace. But serving you, no, never, even if I grow old.”

“Matt.”

“You know, I won’t be working today.”

“Yes, you should not. I’ll call Mr. Mclaire to inform him about the situation.”

“He knows.“

“What? You mean—“

“I’ve resigned.”

“Since when??”

“Since last month.”

This time I didn’t know what to say. He has never lied to me! Or maybe he did in the past and he perfectly kept it. How could he? How could he lie to his dearest lady?

"Then how about those days? The time when you can't come to the party? Those papers?"

"I had to go to the hospital for check-up. And those papers--" his voice cuts off.

"What were those?"

"For my last will."

I wished I didn't ask. I felt guilty for getting mad at him for lying. "I'm sorry," I stood up and he put down the tray on his hands and  hugged me tight, "don't be."



The day came. I looked at myself in front of the mirror and was amazed. I never looked so beautiful than ever. I touched my face but suddenly something came into my mind.

I'm getting married to Matt.

I didn't know if I should be happy about it. He'll be leaving me behind, but I'll be now his wife to everyone's eyes.



I walked down the aisle and lucky that a veil was covering my face. No one can see me crying and crying. I've tried to stop the tears but they won't. Then let them be, Erika, I told myself, but he didn't mean to hurt you, destiny did.

I was only a meter away from the altar and was even reaching out my hand to Matt, when suddenly he fell and luckily, I caught him in my arms.

"Matt!"

"Erika, I'll always be loving you."

"Matt, please don't leave me! We haven't been wed yet! The altar's just so near that we can even reach it!! Please."

He smiled at me and wiped the tears on my face. "Please tell Emily, that I love her so much."

Those were his last words before he took his last breathe.



Days passed and I was alone. I cried and cried, but I can never bring Matt back to life. He was so important to me, losing him felt just like dying inside.

A call came from Matt's lawyer. I was very surprised, Matt's death was stuck in my mind that I almost forgot I'm still alive and that I still have responsibilities to do.

"Hello, Ma'am. I'm Mr. Jones lawyer. So, um, Ms. Mclaire--"

"I just got married. I'm now Mrs. Jones."

"But ma'am, the marriage was not valid because--"

"You want me to hang up?"

"No. Fine. Okay, Mrs. Jones, Mr. Jones has left the company in Mr. Socaville's hands and--"

"Yes, his a friend of ours."

"And nothing else but a letter for you."

"What? Um, how about for Emily? Was there something for her?"

"No, ma'am. Those were only the ones written in his last will. Come tomorrow early at nine in the morning. Ill hand you the letter."

I sighed but remembered to thank him before I put down the phone.

I then got the letter and I was very much surprised when there was only an address written in it and a very short note that says, "the house-- it belongs to you."

Not thinking twice, I handed the address to the taxi driver and made him bring me there. I was shocked when we reached the mountains already. I even paid very huge.

"We're here, ma'am."

It was a little white house, nothing surprising or beautiful about it. And why was it even here, very high in the mountains? I got in and there were only three rooms. The kitchen, the bedroom and a locked room.

I didn't know why Matt gave this house to me. But, to think that we already have a huge sweet nice home back in the city. But being here, made me more lonely. I decided to go back when I noticed a picture lying down on the kitchen table. It was both of us-- smiling like jerks,very happy with each other. I took the picture and there-- behind the picture was a golden key. I remembered the lock room and tried the key with it. It matched.

I covered my mouth to stop myself from crying hardly. There in the room, were my favorite flowers, my favorite chocolates, my favorite brands of bag and clothing. But what was even more surprising was the violet sundress I told him. It was him, who bought it. There was a letter beside the dress.

It says:

Dear Erika,

         By the time you read this letter, I could have been in heavens now. I brought you to this place, because I want you to relax yourself and be happy once more. I remembered the time when I gave you white roses-- your favorite flower-- during your birthday, you can't stop smiling. I want to remind you that I couldn't have been happier in my life, if  I haven't seen that beautiful smile. It inspires me. Now that I'm not on your side anymore, I know you lost that smile, too. But I hoped that when you see your favorite flowers, when you use your favorite bag, when you eat your favorite chocolates, when you put on that violet sundress you'll smile once again.

I remembered the time when you said that you wanted to go to Paris-- then why don't you? Attached to this letter is a plane ticket to Paris. We both know that Paris is the city of love, so Erika, move on now. Don't put burden into yourself, be happy and look for love.

I'll be always be loving you, and I'll look after you from the gates of heaven.

                             

Forever Loving You,          

Matt                    



I can't stop my tears. Silly, Matt. All along, he only thought of me. I looked down and touched my stomach and felt the life inside me. "Emily, he loves us both. Your father was the most perfect man and no one can be like him. It so sad, that destiny has other plans for us." I paused and laughed. "What a bittersweet fate."