A Cave

I can't sleep
Caught up in a current of thought that never calms
Struggling with unbridled self loathing
Feeling your rejection at the deepest point
Buried in my chest
I can feel where it lives
I can see where it lives
A cavern of charred ash
Destroyed by the flames of men
Men who fueled the fire of my own self hatred
This feels disjointed
I yearn to disassociate
Remove my heart from my head and pretend I am strong
Pretend that I haven't been seared
That you never knew me
That you never lit the first match