Rolling In

I was currently finding means to distract myself when I stumbled upon some old blogs of mine. To note, I was feeling particularly empty during the past couple of days that I felt that reading through old entries or journals would help jog back the old writing fervor that I so needed because I'm finding myself at that state when I just feel "the itch".

What is it with writing that makes it so difficult yet addictive? Thinking of something to write, even more ACTUALLY writing, has always been an ordeal for me. The words and sentences I string up just doesn't seem to capture what I want to say -- if I wanted to say anything at all. Everything I write down is, at best, trying to sound smart and interesting, profound and riveting, to perhaps find some clarity in my tangled thoughts. However, it's addicting at the same time because even if what I write is a fascade of mangled information, it's still refreshing to see everything come out as a finished product. It's sort of like "I would rather believe a lie rather than the truth, because the truth is boring." The truth isn't going anywhere but taking these fabrications, these whimsical ideas to its furthest possibilities is a whole different story.

As far as I'm concerned, knowing the truth too much makes writing difficult but having the freedom to dispose of it and come up with your own twist in the tale makes it addictive.

The fact is, It's far more troubling to make something up when you write than it is to just give an outright fact. That's the thing: you're basically lying if you write and anyone can tell you that to sell a lie, you need it to be convincing. It's that mischievous feeling of pulling off a lie that I think fuels writers in the most fundamental sense. I'll come clean to say that I love it when people read/listen to stories I pull out of thin air or hear people say they'd like a rather more embellished version of an otherwise boring event. It's the same high as when you know you got away with something, mischievous as it may be.

I'd love to go on but it's getting pretty late and I have video games to play. I like writing, for the challenge of being creative and witty and I could go on and on about it but then again, sometimes you just want to put your mind on auto-pilot and smash faces without thinking too much about it -- just to set your mind at ease before going to sleep. I'd pick skull-mashing over grammar corrections in my dreams any day :P