Ambivalence of Addiction

It is so freeing to cloud my mind;

to give myself rebellious permission

to run away from the shadows

of the heavy boots of responsibility

and burden

that so methodically,

so predictably,

so daily,

try to squash and stomp me

into a shape

that will fit inside the box.

I cherish the moment of bliss

with each empty glass.

I crave the ephemeral illusions

of liberating my creativity.

My secret self.

Always crushed by the raw reality

that I have slid to the bottom of the bottle.

Another enclosure into which I do not fit.