Respect

Sometimes there's not enough "respect" to go around. 

The other night, however, my initial concern for respect was that if the Yankees had respected Baltimore pitching a little more, maybe they could have won.  Oh well.

We'd left the Yankee Stadium parking lot after a heart breaking loss to a team that the rest of the American league didn't have much respect for.  In my frustration, the old nicotine habit was acting up, so I told the guys that we'd look for a convenience store (or bodega as they're called in the City), to buy a pack.  Figured I'd make a quick stop, then pick up the Interstate to head back to Connecticut.

There was a small store open in the middle of an otherwise dark block.  I swung around, and parked heading back toward the highway.  Asked if anyone else wanted anything.  They didn't, so I hopped out and headed toward the store.

There were a few young guys hanging out on the front steps of a tenement up ahead, but I didn't pay any attention to them as I crossed the street to get to the store.  But they'd noticed me.

One of them trotted across to get in front of me.

"You dissin' us?  We aren't good enough for you to walk by?  And with that Jacket on?  Maybe I should cut you a little to change the color from that dam blue" he sneered at me.

Even as I spoke, it occurred to me that my response might not be the best.  "What???  I just had this on to stay warm enough for the Yankee game."

But, amazingly, it actually helped.

"Oh, a white boy from the burbs."  My suburban Connecticut accent seemed to have removed me from his world.  "Yanks win?"

"Nah.  Baltimore had a pitcher I never heard of, Nick somethin'.  But just too much, at least tonight.  Not that CC was horrible; only gave up two runs, which should have meant a Yankee win.  But, nope."

"Ah, that sucks."

"Yeah," I replied.  Then, since we seemed to be beyond the "cutting" mode, I asked "There's a problem with blue jackets?"

"Hell yes!  There's a gang of slant eyes from the other side of 5th street.  Blue's their color.  They dis' us by wearing them here, we cut 'em.  In the dark, I didn't see u was a whitey."

"Just a whitey needing a nicotine fix, heading for that store," I said pointing to my intended destination.

"Shit man, those things 'ill kill ya," he chuckled as he headed back across the street.

As I drove home that night, poisoning my lungs along the way, I got to thinking about the many meanings of "respect".

Sports teams often talk about respect for their opponents, because they want to avoid providing any motivation.  Their fans, on the other hand, really want their teams to take even the seemingly weakest opponent seriously enough to put them away.

The young gang bangers have raised the showing of respect, or disrespect, almost to an art form.  Office workers, factory laborers, and young mothers raising their children, all want to be respected for their efforts.

There may not be enough "respect" to go around, because some call for showing it with ulterior motives.

"Show your respect for the troops by authorizing billions more for defense," say the politicians.  Yet when those troops are injured, there isn't enough respect to provide needed health care.

"Spending the night with me will show you respect me," says the young lothario.  Yet in the morning, who will respect whom?

"Buying our car will show you want to respect the environment," says the automaker's ad.  To say nothing of the dealer's bottom line. 

There are messages often repeated in our culture.  "Honor thy father and thy mother".  "I pledge allegiance to the flag...".  "Respect for the law is the foundation of our democracy."  All call for showing respect.

Respect...  Some demand it , some feel they are lacking it, some want to co-op it, some tell us it should be demonstrated?  What is this thing respect?

Respect is acting in a manner that demonstrates honor and regard, courtesy, and a lack of interference.  Each of us expects to be shown honor, regard, and courtesy, and expects not to be interfered with.

We should be leery of anyone claiming that acting the way they want will be a demonstration of respect.  And, there can be a problem if we look exclusively to others to demonstrate our worth by their attitude of respect toward us.

Respect, like charity, begins at home.  We should have regard for our own efforts, while remembering the Golden Rule, and showing respect as we'd like to have it shown to us.