It was a bad dream

It was a dream

I dreamed it on a day sleep

The date was 25th august, Friday 2006

I wrote it exactly after I woke up....

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I had just returned home from somewhere. I saw Navani , waiting for me. I was so happy to find her at home. For sometimes we talked and then when I felt hungry, I went to the kitchen and cooked chowmein. I ate it alone and again kept talking with her. She told me that she was yet to eat anything that day . I felt bad that I had not offered her what I had cooked. I went to the kitchen again and cooked macaroni for her. I do not remember whether she ate it or not. It was dark outside . I can't recollect what we were talking about but suddenly she wanted to go home. I wore my jeans and a top and went out with her. We were talking in the bus on the way to her home. As she lived in Bharalu, she got down. I looked at her as she was leaving but she did not. It was like she completely changed at that time and appeared to be someone else. She resembled an television actress named 'Anchit  Kaur'. She did not look back at me. I felt really bad at that time and became upset.

The bus moved on and some strange things happened.

I realized that i had no money with me. I had not for once thought about that. If it happens for real, I would have been very nervous, but then  I was only thinking about Navani with a disturbed mind. Suddenly i felt that somebody  had kept his hand under my thighs. I turned and saw a boy sitting next to me. I have never seen him before. I did not react and continued thinking about Navani. The guy was a bit dark and was wearing spectacles. He smiled at me and appeared to be happy for some reasons. I was already upset. Dunno why , but I gave him a cold smile in return. My mind was still upset , but, I did something weird. I should have been thrown his hand away from me or could have shown my anger, but, I did not. I took his hand and sat over it. The conductor came and asked for three rupees. I again looked at the boy and asked him three rupees. He smiled and gave me a five rupees coin. I stared at the coin keeping it between my fingers. I do not remember whether I gave it to the conductor. Then I gave my left hand to the guy. He was touching and looking at my fingers. I was still upset as before. I was not thinking anything about that guy. I was to get down at the Panbazar stoppage. For the last time ,I gave him a cold smile and got down. He did not seem to leave my hand. I was feeling pain in my hand.

It was lonely at the bus stop.  There were two or three short men but they were far away from me. I observed that the roads were three times bigger than usual. I had to cross two roads to reach the bus stop from where I intended to board my bus. I saw my left and then right and stepped out to cross the road.  Suddenly the road , filled with so many buses and cars that I had to stop. It was disturbing. I did not know what I was thinking and  moved on. At that second , I saw a bus which was about to hit me. I shouted and fell down. That bus actually did not hit me. Luckily , it stopped and I was not hurt too much . I stood up and saw that there were some minor injuries. Some traffic police came and started shouting. They were quarreling over that topic among themselves, blaming each other. I did not pay much attention and moved on. I crossed the first road and stood on the divider waiting to cross the second road.

I was very very tired. Both my mind as well as my body was paining. Suddenly one of the traffic policemen came and stood in the middle of the second road. He was shouting at the buses and  was momentarily acting like a freak.  He was asking those buses to drive over him and to kill him. I was not looking at that monkey anymore and crossed the second road.

Then I saw something unusual. I noticed that the wall of the water supply office had turned into a blockade which was hiding everything behind it. I mean it had turned into a really big wall. I should have stopped there to get into a bus but I wanted to see what was going on behind that wall.

I saw a very small door in the wall. I opened it. I witnessed something that i never expected. I saw there were bigger and broader roads but they were not like usual ones. Those roads were like hilly roads. I was standing and staring at strange cars and other transports, hearing strange sounds from them. The buses were like 3D animated trains. They were colorful and amazing. I was surprised but still was upset. I felt so depressed and alone. There was no one with me, but, who was she ? I saw a lady standing at a distance.I had seen her somewhere.

Oh I recognized her!!

She was the lonely widow who stayed in a small rented house with her daughter in our village.

She looked at me and I too looked at her dull and tired face.

Suddenly I felt all the pain , grief , sadness , tiredness, depression and all the bad and negative things on the earth.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

And in reality, I opened my eyes, woke up and stared at the ceiling and recalled all the events that I saw .

And took a pen and my diary to write everything..

It was something that happened 5 years ago and even today  when I read the dream , I don’t know why but I feel sad.

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