Homecoming

HOMECOMING

Julia walked slowly out of the international terminal, stopped and gazed around.  The long roll of the hills in the background shone in the morning sun and the cool breeze still held the smell of the previous night’s rain.  Julia was simply pleased to be back home where she could find herself again.  A dynamic computer software business, frequent overseas travel, and negotiating successful deals at all levels had given her poise and self-confidence.

Now she was putting behind her the arguments and the pain of the breakup of her business and her marriage.  The fracture had been reached after a long crescendo of complaints and counter-complaints.  “You penny pinching bean counter,” she had yelled at her then husband.  His reply was typical; “You’re letting your technical and marketing enthusiasm run away with you again, Julia.  We have to be fiscally responsible.”

“Fiscally responsible my butt” she had yelled in reply.  “If we don’t expand and introduce new products, we’ll have no money to be responsible with!”

“No, Julia, I control the purse strings, and what I say goes.”

“I see, Mark.  Well, if that’s the case, I’m out of here.  Permanently!” and she slammed the door as she left the room.

Accusations.  Challenges.  Lawyers.  Negotiations.  Compromises.  All of these eventually led to Julia selling out her share of the business to Mark at a healthy profit.  And that, of course, destroyed their marriage in another welter of accusations and general nastiness.  “Whew,” thought Julia when it was all over, “how on earth did I let myself get into that in the first place?  Now is the time to re-invent Julia Temple.”

The stresses of her marriage breakdown and business problems might almost have destroyed her.  But it hadn’t come to that.  Julia’s philosophy of unlimited hope for the future, a resolute refusal to let the past drag her down, a well-developed understanding of her own capacity to cope and a natural resilience had allowed her to regain her composure.

Julia lazed along, day-dreaming happily after a hectic twenty-four hours in a jumbo jet and an even more hectic three months tidying up all her business interests and packing her life into storage crates.  She reached the taxi rank and climbed into the back of a cab.  The driver, well hidden behind wraparound sun glasses and a baseball cap, mumbled a terse, “Morning,” grunting when she gave her address.  Julia tried to talk to him in a half hearted way, but he was clearly absorbed in his own thoughts.  “Just as well, really,” thought Julia, “he’s a pretty unattractive guy.  That scruffy beard does nothing for him - and he smells, too!”  She recognised a compound of bad breath, perspiration and something indefinable that tickled at the back of her mind but that she couldn’t identify.

Nick Danton.  All of a sudden, the image of the boy who had been so much a part of her life all those years ago sprang unbidden into her mind.  He had been the centre of attention of so many of the girls in her final year at university, and he had known it.  She could still remember his mop of unruly brown hair, winning smile and confident manner.  He traded on his good looks and elegance; the model for the hero of any number of cheap romances.  Nick had it all and was definitely going places, even though, Julia remembered he was probably too sure of himself.  She stopped, puzzled, unable to get his image out of her mind and unable to understand why this long forgotten infatuation should now return so strongly.

Julia relaxed in the back of the cab, reminiscing to herself about the old days and her time at university.  Once more, the image of Nick Danton rose in her mind and another memory floated to the surface.  “Wow, Julia,” he had said, “You and I make a really great couple; we’ve got it all going for us,” and he had grabbed her around the waist and swung her round, as she laughed and beat playfully at his chest.  “Put me down, you big ape; just for that, you can buy me lunch,” and they had left, arms around each other in a haze of happiness.

Their happiness hadn’t lasted, partly because their paths diverged; Julia developed highly marketable skills in information technology and marketing while Nick’ strength was in finance.  More importantly, Julia discovered that his self-confidence had begun to border on arrogance.  On more than one occasion he stood her up without any convincing reason, and he expected her to drop her priorities to accommodate him.  Eventually, Julia reluctantly recognised that his cavalier attitude was a barrier to their relationship.

She remembered the last time they met; “Nick, I’m sorry, but I can’t go on like this any more.  You seem to want everything your way, and I’m not prepared to just tag along and do what I’m told.”

“Hey, Julia, that’s not how it is.  I’m always ready to meet you half way, you know that.”

“No, Nick, that’s not how it looks from where I’m standing.  Our relationship feels increasingly one sided.  I think we’ve run our race, and I don’t think we ought to see each other again because I know it will only lead to anger, accusations and …”

Nick jumped straight in, full of anger and self-pity.  “Okay, your choice, Julia.  You do know you’re making a big mistake, don’t you?  I’ve got a lot to offer you, and if you’re not prepared to be flexible about our relationship, well too bad.  Don’t come crawling to me, begging me to take you back, ‘cos it’s not going to happen.  Goodbye, Julia,” he finished with just the faintest hint that he would have welcomed her backing down.

“Goodbye, Nick, have a good life.”  And that was it.

Julia emerged from her idle dreams when the driver jammed on the brakes and muttered a curse at another vehicle.  “Good heavens, why am I having all these girlish fantasies about a guy who is probably happily married with a family by now.  Snap out of it, Julia, this isn’t the way you made a success over there.  Julia Temple, the hard headed business woman, capable of meeting the men on their own ground, and winning more often than not.  She would never allow such idle fancies to preoccupy her mind.”

She sat up again as the driver confirmed the specific directions, wondering at the same time what made him so surly.  Julia replied cheerfully, smiling brightly at the back of the driver’s head as she spoke to him.  But it made no difference - he sank back into the apathy that he had displayed during the whole trip.  “Well, too bad,” Julia said to herself, “Thank God I won’t ever see him again!”

There was something about coming home for the first time since her father’s funeral that cold, wet winter’s day, five years ago, that made her feel positive and happy.  The remembered scenes of years ago, the sprawling, comfortable houses and the warm, soft weather helped Julia to relax and start to shake off some of the tensions of the recent past.

Eventually, they reached the old bungalow, surrounded by the sweet smelling shrubs that she remembered so well as her father’s pride and joy, now a riot of colour and perfume in mid-spring.  As Julia’s mother bustled out to welcome her home, the taxi driver slouched to the rear of the cab to take out the bags.  Julia sensed some sort of unspoken communication passing between her mother and the driver and was momentarily disconcerted.  “Maybe she doesn’t think much of him either,” thought Julia, quickly dismissing him from her mind in the warmth of her mother’s welcome.

“All the family is coming round this afternoon to welcome you home, my dear”, her mother said, “but I wanted you to myself for a while for a good old gossip.”  Julia smiled to herself.  “It’s wonderful to be back home, Mum.  Now I want to spend some time getting myself into some sort of routine.  I have so many plans.  There is so much I want to do, so much that I have to do and so many people I want to see.”  Her mother smiled, warmed by Julia’s sincerity and enthusiasm and bustled into the kitchen to make coffee.

“Do you know, it’s a funny thing, Mum, ever since the plane touched down, for some strange reason, I’ve been thinking about Nick Danton.  You remember that boy I was so taken with when I was in my last year at uni.  He came round here several times - I’m sure you met him.  In fact, I seem to remember that you and Dad quite approved of him.”  Julia ran on enthusiastically, still preoccupied with the idea of Nick Danton, the idealised image of his good looks, charm and confidence continuing to grow in her mind, his arrogance now dismissed in the face of her new fantasy.

“I’d like to re-weave some of the threads of the old days; I wonder whether I could get in touch with him again?  I know it sounds silly and he’s probably married but, well, we had been good friends and if things had been different, he might have been your son-in-law.”

Julia paused in her animated monologue, suddenly puzzled by her mother’s silence, and turned towards the older woman.  Her mother was looking at Julia with an indefinable expression on her face.  “Oh my dear,” she said, her voice low and full of concern, “I thought you had realised.  Nick Danton was driving your taxi.”