Frankly Frank (Segregation's the Shit. P

Scene opens with Frank and John in their new mansion talking.





John: Son, weve gotten so much out of mostly illegal deeds. And, well, I figure we need to start giving back.





Frank: You were never very good at giving back, isnt that why youre single?





John: Must you always make a sarcastic remark in an attempt at humor? Well, look, I want to start making cotton sweaters for people.





Frank: I bet youll...





John: I wasnt fucking finished! Any ways, Im going to adopt a child as well.





Frank: I really dont see this going anywhere good. I have to go to school, try not to get into shenanigans today, please?





John: Oh Frank, fuck off.





Next scene Frank is in class when a guy with long black hair and a beard is throwing paper wads at him and calling him.





Person: Psssttttt, Frank!





Frank ignores him until after class when he walks up to him.





Frank: Hey man, whats your deal? Wait, oh my god, its you. Dammit Jesus, what do you want?





Jesus: Hey man, Im just here to have a good time. Oh, and I also need six hundred dollars.





Frank: What, for what??





Jesus: Well, dont tell Skylar but, I got in deep with the Loan Sharks.





Frank: What the hell did you do? Wait, why shouldnt I tell Skylar? Whats going on?





Jesus: Oh, um, well, nothing. Just, you know I wouldnt want this shit spreading around.





Frank: Jesus. dont pull that shit bro. I know youre cheating on me. Just know, I would have given it all to you.





Jesus: Frank, what the fuck?





John is at an orphanage looking at children.





John: Hey, Im John, Id like to adopt a child.





Orphanage owner: Right this way sir.





He takes John down a hall and on each side of the walls there were cages with childrens arms flailing out and screaming.





John: Its good to see my taxes are doing exactly what I would do for the children.





Orphanage owner: Yes sir we love the children. SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU NOISY BASTARDS!





John stops at a cage and looks in.





John: That one! I want that one!





The Orphanage owner walks in and picks up a child and brings it out. He brings out a little black girl.





John: Im gunna name you Harriot.





Frank walks through the house with Jesus and they both sit down.





Frank: So Jesus, werent you supposed to like kill Satan and end all evil in the world?





Jesus: No, that book was written on expectations not prophesies.





Frank: Oh, that makes much more sense.





At that moment John walks through the door with a clip board and Harriot following him.





John: So, I suppose youre familiar with the layout of everything. Soooo, I guess you should get to work. Ok, the cotton fields out back, so um, get to it.







Hariot: Yes daddy. I love you.







John: Shut the fuck up free labor!







Scene cuts to Frank and Jesus smoking weed in Jesus's apartment. Both are on the ground.





Frank: So, whyd you call me here, Jesus?





Jesus: Well Frank, Ive got to tell you something very serious.







Frank: What is it Jesus?







Frank takes a hit on his blunt.







Jesus: Well, Im dying, of cancer.







Frank: What the fuck? You do realize that youre Jesus and could cure yourself at any point in time?







Jesus: Frank, I have something to tell you. You might want to sit down for this.







Frank: I am sitting.







Jesus: Oh ya, well it turns out Ive never really had any powers whatsoever. They were all just a delusion of all the LSD Ive taken. So, there you have it.







Frank: What the fuck.







Scene cuts to John sitting in the living room knitting.







John: Well Hariot, youre the best thing that has happened to this family since the abortion.







Hariot: Maybe now you can give me food?







John: Oh Hariot, youll get food when you stop being so fucking pathetic and start picking a shit load of cotton per day!







Hariot goes back out to the fields. John drives over to the pastors house with a box full of sweaters. John knocks on the door and the pastor answers.







John: Hello Pastor Nig.







Nig: Well hello John. I see you have a box of sweaters there.







John: Oh yes, home made. I picked the cotton myself. Here, would you like one?







John hands Pastor Nig a sweater that says "Equality is for squares"







Nig: Of course it is. Gays are the spawn of Satan.







John: Fuck yeah.







Back at home John is sitting on the couch with Hariot.







John: Well, Im sure youre curious as to why I called you here.







Hariot: I think my cut is infected.







John: Shut the fuck up when Im talking! Now, as I was saying. I think that your time here has been ever productive to our cause. But, I fear your recent efforts lack initiative and I feel we need more people of your expertise. So, Ive decided to go forth and collect.







Scene cuts to Jesus and Frank in the apartment passed out. Frank wakes up.







Frank: Oh my fucking god! I missed two days of school! Why has no one called? Hey Jesus, Jesus.







Jesus: What? What the fuck do you want?







Frank: I need you to drive me to school.







Jesus: By school you mean liquor store right?







Frank: Thats right, now lets get moving.







Jesus and frank go to the liquor store and on the way they pass an elementary school where John is standing outside by a van with a trench coat and sun glasses on.







John: Hey, little black girl. Do you want some candy?







Little girl: Stranger danger!







John: No! I just want to imprison you and have you do my bidding for eternity. Now get in the van you little cunt!







The little girl runs away screaming.







John: Damn, Im going to need to change my game.







Next day he does the same thing.







John: Hey, littler black girl. Would you like some fried chicken?







Girl: Stranger... Wait, did you just mother fuckin say fried chicken? Hell yeah mother fucker.







She gets in the van and John takes her home to pick cotton. He does this for a week and picks up two hundred little black girls. The scene cuts to a tall slender mayor in a black tux.







Assistant: Abe, we may have a problem.







Abe: Whats that?







Assistant: Well, it seems that there has been an out break of slavery of little black girls in the area.







Abe: Damn, Ill look into it.







Scene cuts to Jesus and Frank back at the apartment drunk with bottles every where.







Frank: So Jesus, did you enjoy your last day on earth?







Jesus: Oh, well it seems that it wasnt cancer, it was just gas.







Frank: For the son of God, youre an idiot.







Scene cuts to Abe giving a speech.







Abe: Four score and seven years ago, and one dollop and two scoops...







A man hands Abe a sweater and points to John. The sweater says "Segregation is the shit." Abe nods.







Abe: Well, thats all the time we have for now.







(To be continued.)