I am a blender

I to myself am not retarded;
I to you may just be smart;
I to everyone else am as typical as an unfulfilled education

I don’t fit in, I blend in;
I am like a blender with blades that dull with age

I have not awoken to today,
Therefore it is yesterday

I am every which way
Every freggin’ day

I feel… obligated

Now I feel… tired and obligated

… and bored and obligated…. And tired… and now, delirium is setting in… or has set in… I’m loosing my mind… on this document, I’ve lost it.

Will I ever get it back?

No

Why

No………. I know why…… It’s only because I want to know why that I’ve forgotten…. Then again, I’ve lost my mind//// onto this document… maybe I can find it again…. On this document…

But now, I don’t feel like it… I don’t want, or need, or any sort of urge that may evoke a response in my petty noggin. From my meager existence; if that be true…. Existence…. What is, existence… life\.... purpose…. Love….. meaning….. longing…. Hate….. and…. That’s it. They are all. That’s it. They are all.

They truly are… all… every which way… every freggin’ day.

I’ve lost it… and I’m glad.

Maybe now I can stop searching for it and continue looking for that which drives me… it’s definetly not my mind… maybe, it is, my mind, that…. That….. that….. what ….. that thing…. Yeah.

Oh my gosh, I am bored out of my mind… obviously. It’s easy to tell with my mind all over the document and all…. Whatever. I feel… dah…. Dat obligation… whatever.
Now I curse my faults and tell the Lord… “I am not cursing, Lord! I am correcting!”