Expressions

patience growing thin. stretching to the width of paper. it's fragility threatening a casualty. how many ways to say I miss you? I hardly remember the character of your face. the vernacular of your speech. holding to the day of associating in your presence. feeling the rush of adrenalin that comes with your closeness. this stretch of time a weight to bear, but the uncertainty of having these wishes granted seems improbable. Becoming stronger than I thought has proved exhausting. too long. too far. saying this changes nothing, though I wish it affected everything. what tells the point of desperation? is it giving up....loosing hope....is it obvious? or is it an invisible pall shadowing who all know me to be? only I feel it, only I bear it, only I know the depth of emotion chained to it. It's all facade dancing in the face of the every day normality. Sunset brings on reality. That is the truth of day. When all have gone to bed. No more dancing, no more invisibility, no more facades. Forced to look at the face of suppression and not fold. It's the world within the world. the one no one actually knows outside those admitting residence. this dark has no superior. it is a void of light. yet contained in the most mortal of vessels. an abyss in the weakest soil. a weight I'm forced to carry. when will it be enough? when will I breathe freely? A character altered and trialed in one fell swoop. can you expect any respectful result? I can produce none. Winters brisk chills awaken the trees, sending shivers down their branches and leaves. once an invigorating gust, now only a biting wind. reminders I cannot escape you. reminders of mistakes made. reminders of the good in the bad. reminders of warmth when surrounded by cold. it's all one thought. It's all one name. it's all one day I hold to.

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