Strange Remarks

              Sometimes I feel quite alien. In many respects I am.
      Lady Ga Ga is my anchor. She never disappoints my faith in humanity.
      We are all born this way.... Nuts! Here are some remarks that have stayed
      with me as I wander through this wicked world.

      "Hey, man. I'm sorry. I was just freaking out over midterms." Brad said to me
      after picking me up out my chair in biology class and throwing me out the
      large sash window. We had a heart to heart in the principle's office, after I
      had a cast put on my arm. It was only a second story window.. the clay yard
      broke my fall. I gave him Ga Ga eyes and said, "Your a stupid person."
      He gave me a big smile back.

      "You fucked up!" my brother in law said to me in his kitchen, after my dad's
      wake. I thought I had done a good job, taking care of mom and dad, before
      dad had that fall and went into the nursing home and mom got pneumonia.
      She went to the Youville Hospital and died. My sister refuses to talk to me.
      I got two hernias lifting mom and dad. There were a lot of stairs in dad's house.
      I had a landscaping job too.... Oh, well.

      "I'm sorry I ran over Francis." my neighbor apologized .
      That tabby was my best friend in grammar school.
      I prayed to Satan Mr. Tredwell would get an incurable disease.
      He was in his 80's. He lived almost to a hundred.
      .......There is no justice.

      Mr. Dawson asked me about my relationship with his wife.
      "Are you seeing my wife?" he queried.
      "I like to suckled her nipples." I replied.
      I was in my 20's and Susan was in her 30's.
      He was a psychiatrist.
      "I don't want details. Just be discrete." he replied.
      I was stunned. This was a common thing, I guessed, in psychiatry.

      "I see demons at night biting at me." my older sister Maura said to me.
      Dad insisted she did not need psychological treatment. But, he sent me
      to see a bunch. She shared my bedroom. I was 13 years old and dad wanted
      me to watch her.. She was in her 40's.
      "I had a dream I met all my friends, who were dead. We were on a subway
      platform and held hands and walked up the stairs into a bright light."
      Maura said to me at 3:00am. She liked to wake me up and share her dreams.
      I'll always have her stories with me.

      "Have you heard the news?" my boss exclaimed with a toothy smile.
      "What?" I asked. "Your fired." he replied and slapped me on the back with
      a "Ho! Ho! Ho!" I got fired a week before Christmas.

      "You are the biggest loser I've ever met yet." Trina said to me, "Do you know
      what a real man is?" She was upset that I had a stroke and complained
      about her callous remarks. She was also dating the boss Nick.
      He asked me to show Trina more respect. I just can't get that girl out of
      my head. :)

      Oh, well.

      This is my favorite. A customer never disappoints.
      "I'll bet you can't afford a $20 hooker!
      If I had this job, I'd shoot myself!
      Hey, just joking! Merry Christmas!"
      the jolly fat old man laughed.
     

      And to all a good night!


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