Arranged Marriage

"Start!” she screamed, beating at her steering wheel with her final ounces of frustration. Her old beat up car had finally inhaled its last quart of that sweet oil, and given up. Sighing she threw the car key to the passenger seat and left the doors unlocked when she got out, maybe it would run for someone else. With her evening clutch and Prada heels in hand she began the long walk through the dark, downtown alleys that led toward her house, away from the club. Her breathing quickened after only minutes of the walk. The concrete was cold beneath her bare feet, which she thought should be bleeding by now, she had stepped on enough unknown sharp objects by now. Every sound from the darkness could be an axe-murder or a lonely hobo. Both could be dangerous, considering the jewels she had draped over her tan skin, they would be worth hundreds if not thousands when pawned. A rat scurried from beneath a trash bag and Toni spun around, barely restraining the terrified scream that edged at her lips. The very short, leather skirt of her dress did not allow quick or wide movement, and she realized that if any of the sounds around her were an axe-muderer she would not be able to escape, and she couldn’t fight.



“Why all wide eyed darlin’?” the club owner came out from the shadows, still spotless even in his suit. Toni didn’t know him well, she had only had a brief meeting with him when she first joined the club. “There ain’t nothin’ to be scared of in these alleys,” she marlved at his accent then, remebering some slight mishap during their meeting, realized he was from Texas, but had moved to New York for an escape from family.



“I well, my car wouldnt start so I started to walk home but I can’t see a think, except maybe, well nothing actually, and I can’t distingish any of the noises around me.”



“Come back to the club, you can spend a night in one of the private apartments and walk home in the morning, or I can call your husband to come and get you.”



“Well I wouldn’t want to impose, or want my children to worry while I’m away.” My husband, she thought to herself, would kill me if he knew I was here. Toni’s parents had forced her into an arranged marriage with her best friend’s third cousin twice removed, and he was, to put it polietly, a controlling jerk.



"I see, then you can call them and tell them goodnight, and not to worry when we get back to the club," he stepped closer to her, his silk suit ruffling against the bare skin of her arm. She was running out of excuses and he could tell, his triumph was seething through the dank air of downtown.



"That sounds resonable," she linked her arm in his, knowing that was what he wanted by the postion of his arm.



"I'm glad you think so," he began walking.



"I'm sorry, I now you are the owner of the club, but I'm slightly embarrassed, that I don't quite remember your name."



"Ah, darlin' but you don't remember, you never knew my name, we only saw each other long enough for you to completely embarrass yourself with the concern of my accent."



"Yes, and I'm truly sorry about that."



"Don't be, that was the highlight of my night. I found it quite amusing."



"Well glad I could be of service. Would you mind telling me your name now?"



"I guess I might since I hear you are at the club more often and are staying at the club tonight. I am the owner of the club, Juan deSalvidorah."



"Well Juan it is nice to finally know your name. I only hope that we can get to know each other and become better friends as time passes."



"I share the same wish. Watch your step," Juan tightened his grip on Toni's arm as she blindly stepped up onto the raised back terrace of the club.



"We went to the back door, and we are already there?" she asked, the surprise and worry highly evident in her voice.



"Well where else did you think the alley led to?"



"I didn't really want to find out," she flinched a little at the sound of his fist pounding on the metal door.



"Yes, well let me show you a part of the club that exists unknown," he led her into a silver drapped hall.



"I never would have guessed anything like this existed," Toni stared at the silver draped rooms with jewels glinting even with the small dim amount of light that was given off. "What is this used for?"



"Well generally it is for my family, which basically means my girlfriend at the time and those who belong to our club and pay for lodgin' for the night."



"Well then I must pay you the price those who normally would stay here do," she stopped, turning to face him.



"My family never has to pay, so actually you don't have to pay me," he stepped slightly closer, the scent of him reaching her nostrils.



"How am I family? You said your family was only your current girlfriend," Toni looked at him, confused.



"Well maybe that's what I want you to be."



"Juan you know I'm married," Toni spoke through the hard lump forming in her throat, she had always found Juan's personality amazing, and she would be lying to herself if she said his physical appearance wasn't as amazing.



"Well from what I've noticed he's not that observant, I'm sure we could get away with a relationship," Juan's hands slid down her arms to rest on her waist, waiting for her to give in so he could pull her close.



"No," Toni pulled back. "I may not have loved my husband but I still married him and I vowed to stay true to him. I have stayed such and will continue too."



"But Toni, I could give you so much more."



"No, Juan. I like this club, please don't ruin it for me. I would like to be able to come back and face you with the respect of a friend, not with the level of respect you will leave me with if you continue."



"I think your lying through your teeth, trying to resist but in the end, you will give in."



Toni threw her hands up in frustration, "Thank you for ruining the club, the only safe haven when I need a day off."



"It still can be," Juan swept his hand to the secret part of the club. "Come and let it be a haven with me."



"Juan, I can't. I love my children and would never force them through the divorce of my husband and me, we try and love each other when we are around them and have come to respect each other."



"Respect? What is respect when he treats you no better than a dog?"



"Oh he doesn't treat me like that, I simply overdue it when I'm upset and in a place where no one knows me."



"Toni, quit lying to yourself, just give in already."



"I'm not giving in, now will you allow me to spend one night here without your advances or must I call home for a ride?"



Interrupting the silence, Toni's phone vibrated in her clutch then began to play 'I Hope You Dance' by Lee Ann Womack. "Who is that?" Juan looked at her suspiciously.



She knew who it was, but didn't want to be right. Taking her phone out of her clutch she checked who was calling. She hated being right. "Hello," she picked up the phone.



"Hey, Aisling refuses to go to bed. She keeps saying not until mommy gets here. Where are you?"



"My car broke down."



"I'll come pick you up. Where are you?"



"I'm at that club downtown. The one off of Pecan Street. I'm in the back room."



"What are you doing there?"



"We will talk about it when I get home."



"Okay, I'll be right there. Bye."



"Bye," she put her phone back in her clutch before looking up at Juan. "That was Laisrén. He will be here in about 20 minutes."



"Hmmm, I finally get to meet that lowlife you married."



"It's not like I chose to marry him and anyway he at least treats me better than you have so far. He respects my answer when I tell him no, he doesn't corner me and force my will."



"I have not and never will."



"That is exactly what you are trying to do to me."



"I have no idea why you would say something like that. I treat the members of my club with nothing but decency."



"How did you get here so quick?" Toni stared open mouthed at the door behind Juan.



"I was driving around, you know motion helps put Aisling to sleep."



"Oh, are the kids in the car?"



"Yes, that's why we should leave as soon as possible. Now would actually be nice."



"I'm on the way out the door, you go sit with the kids."



"Were walking out together. The kids don't need to know that you're with another man when you're married to me."



"I'm not with another man, at least not that way, I was going to start walking home when you called me. We were just discussing the option of me spending the night in one of the club's suites. I didn't feel comfortable leaving you and the kids that long so I was leaving."



"We will talk about it when we get home," Laisrén held his arm out for her to take.

Toni slowly edged her way around Juan, trying to avoid even slight contact. When she had succeeded she for the first time, happily walked out to the car for the drive home with her husband. She realized that he wasn't as bad as she made him seem. Into the awkward silence that had taken hold of the couple she mumbled her confession, "I'm sorry but I think I love you."

"What?" he turned from where he was in the middle of opening her door.

"I hated you when we first married. Then we learned to respect each other, but now I think it is becoming love."

"You realize this as our marriage falls apart when I find you in a club, with the owner."

"I realize this as I share the truth of my weekly destination and my dedication to our relationship. I may have hidden the truth but I never went against the vows of our marriage."

"You expect me to believe that?"

"Not necessarily but I do at least hope that you can look into my eyes or hear the truth in my voice. I was a good wife to you, and I want to continue to be. Plus, I will not put our children through our divorce, we agreed on this when I first became pregnant."

"You're right, we will talk more when we get home," Laisrén opened her door, kissing her cheek before shutting it and walking around to his side of the car.

"Mommy," their oldest daughter, Aisling cried.

"Hey sweetie," Toni reached back and patted her daughter's leg. "You need to listen to daddy, if he says its bed time that means it's bed time."

"Okay," the 4 year old stumbled over her words.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, getting in the car.

"I'm good, I'll just grab something from the pantry when we get home."

"We don't have anything, I was going to tell you that we needed to get shopping when you got back."

"Oh, and we can't stop at the grocery now because Aisling is already asleep and we need to get her to bed. Just stop at the gas station around the corner, I'll run in and get something then we can head home. Laisrén did as she asked, waiting patiently as she walked in. He thought about what he would do, would he push the issue of a divorce or would he wait and see what happened in a week or two. He couldn't decide, he didn't know which one would be better for his family. He didn't want to put his children through the divorce but he also didn't want to risk the chance of finding out, the hard way, that there was something wrong between their mother and him. He made up his mind 10 minutes later when Toni walked out of the gas station. By the redness in her eyes he could tell that she had been crying, and the more he opened his mind to the idea that it might not have been her fault he realized what had happened. She had been through quite an ordeal, and she couldn't get through it on her own, especially if she had even joint custody of the kids.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, trying to not wake his daughter yet saying it with a fierceness that stunned Toni.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, I know what really happened. I know how wrong I was, and how I've treated you. I'm sorry for all of it."

"What brought all this about?" she asked, settling in the seat.

"Seeing you walk out of the gas station, I knew you had been crying, and it just woke up some instinct in me. I don't really know what happened."

"Oh, well, we still need to talk when we get home."

"I never said we didn't."

"Where are Bríghid and Cathaír?"

"My brother is there with them."





Chapter 2

"I'll get her," Laisrén said, as Toni hugged their daughter to her.

"I'm fine," she closed the car door with her hip and walked to the door, realizing that she didn’t know where her clutch and shoes were. Turning she saw Laisrén coming up the path with them in hand. He saw her look of wonder and smiled as he reached around her unlocking the front door. Toni smiled back before walking in the house and up the stairs to Aisling’s room. She put her four year old in bed before walking back to her own bedroom where her husband waited for her.

Toni was laying on the bed, the head in Laisrén’s lap when his brother, Étain, knocked and slowly creaked open the door. “I saw your car in the driveway but I didn’t hear you come in,” he said to Laisrén. “Oh, I didn’t see your car Toni, sorry.”

“It’s okay Étain, I’m sorry we didn’t let you know we were home. Thanks for coming over, if you want to stay instead of going home, feel free to use the downstairs guest bedroom.”

“It’s no problem, but I think I’ll drive home.”

“Okay, text us when you get there.”

“Will do,” he walked out, and they held their breath until they heard the sound of the front door closing. They had already had their talk and were closer than ever.

“I’m sorry,” Toni whispered one last time before slipping off into sleep.

~*~*~

Toni woke to a drop of water on her leg. Through a slit of an opening of her eyelids she saw her husband reaching across her to grab the controller to turn the television on, he also turned down the volume, thinking that Toni was still asleep. Putting the controller back down he went over to his closet and dressed.

She continued to lay with her eyes closed; hoping that more sleep would find her. “It’s okay,” Laisrén whispered, stroking her hair before leaving the room.

It seemed like only minutes had passed but the clock showed hours when her husband woke her. “Why did you let me sleep this late?” she asked, reading 1:00 p.m. on her bedside alarm clock.

“I figured you needed it.”

“What about the kids?”

“It’s Saturday so they didn’t have anything to do. Aisling is watching television, Bríghid is playing with her dolls in dining room, and Cathaír is in his playpen.” Bríghid was their 2 year old daughter, and Cathaír was their 3 month old son.

“Okay, that’s good. I’m going to get a shower, then we can go to the store. Do you want to take our kids with us or drop them off at my parents?”

“I’ll call your parents and ask them if we can drop them off cause I think we need some time to ourselves,” he pulled his phone out and walked out of the room.

Toni smiled slightly as she got out of bed, peeking out of her door and down the hallway, out to the balcony, where Laisrén stood. The thick muscles of his back were etched through the tight polo shirt he was wearing, and his old designer stone washed jeans hugged his frame nicely.

As he turned around she quickly jumped into the shower, listening when he came back into the bedroom. “Alright, we will be over in just a bit. Yes, of course we will be there in time for lunch. Good-bye.” Toni heard the blackberry hit the bed where Laisrén had thrown it, before walking into the bathroom. “Honey, I just got off the phone with your mother.”

“And?”

“She said that she will watch the kids, but we have to stay for lunch.”

“Very well, I’ll be out momentarily.”

“I’ll get the children ready.”

As Toni slipped on her own designer jeans, she heard one of the girls crying. Bríghid was crying in her room, as her father dressed her. “Why is she crying?”

Laisrén showed her a red hand mark on their daughter; it was on her side and part of her rear. “It looks as if someone hit her, or grabbed her.”

“Well is it of your doing?”

“No, it wasn’t there when I put her in her pajamas last night.”

“Would your brother?”

“I don’t think he even hits his own children.”

“Darling does it still hurt?” Toni asked picking up her daughter. Bríghid only nodded, before burying her head into her mother’s shoulder. “Can you be brave for mommy? You are going to go to spend the weekend with grandma and grandpa. Doesn’t that sound fun?” She handed her daughter to Laisrén, “Pack their bags; I will call my mother and your brother.”

“My brother, why?”

“We are going to have him and his wife over for dinner tonight. I also plan to ask him about my daughter.”

“No, Toni,” he shook his head. “There is no reason to start trouble.”

“He might have hurt my daughter; there is absolutely reason to start trouble.”

“Might have; you don’t know for sure.”

“That is reason enough to actually find out. Laisrén I didn’t grow up like you, where everything was handed to you. I grew up in a world where you had to fight for anything you wanted, and doing such I know what certain consequences can be.”

“What does you’re childhood have to do with anything?”

“I don’t want my daughter or any of my children to have to go through anything similar. That’s part of the reason I didn’t run when I got news of our marriage the first time.”

“And does protection have to go as far as challenging my brother?”

“I’m not challenging him, I’m just going to ask him,” Toni shook her head in anger before walking to get her own phone.





Chapter 3

Toni wiped her eyes as the pulled up to her mother’s quaint little ranch. She got Cathaír out of his car seat and unbuckled Aisling as Laisrén got Bríghid. “Hello mother,” Toni smiled when the short woman answered the door.

“My baby,” she took her grandson and ignored her daughter. They had never had a great relationship but they had really hit a rough spot when Toni had first gotten pregnant. It was only two years after their marriage and Toni was only 18. Instead of letting Chrisi adopt Aisling, Toni had said that she and her 20 year husband would raise her.

“They’re not your children, they are mine, and I am yours.”

“Oh stop striving for attention. You were my only daughter; I gave you enough years ago.”

“I’m not asking for attention, I’m tired of you trying to raise my children like they are your own when they’re not.”

“Whatever, your husband is more grateful than you are.”

“Yes mother, I’m very aware; you’ve only told me every time I see you.”

“Come in, sit down,” Keith pulled his daughter into a hug. “My love bug!”

~*~*~

“What’s wrong?” Laisrén asked as Toni wiped her eyes again.

“I don’t know, I guess that since realizing that I did love you last night I wanted to make things work, and this morning didn’t help much.”

“I’ve always loved you, but when we first met, it didn’t seem like you loved me, so I gave up. Then we had Aisling, and we bonded, as we raised her, but you became more and more distant.”

“I’m sorry, you were so mean the first time I saw you, the way you were treating everyone.”

“I was doing it to impress you.”

“Oh, maybe we can try, I mean I love you.”

“And I you,” he reached across and put a hand on her knee, hoping to comfort her.

“Sarah just texted me back,” Toni said after checking her phone. “She and your brother are coming to dinner and your parents are watching their kids.”

“So I guess we need to buy the stuff to make a very good dinner that includes some wine.”

“Yes, how about we do a three course meal obviously. Let’s start out with either salad or soup, their choice, and then we can go to a main course of chicken enchiladas with a just a bit of rice, and for dessert how about cinnamon tortillas. Instead of wine let’s do frozen margaritas and then serve hot chocolate with dessert.”

“Okay that sounds good.”

“Well let’s get going,” she got out of the van, and for the first time they held hands as they walked.





Chapter 4

“You know, I don’t think he even hits his own kids,” Laisrén muttered as they fixed dinner.

“I don’t care. It’s not like I’m accusing him of murdering someone. I’m not even accusing him of hitting our daughter. I’m just a mother pursuing all possibilities of a mark on her daughter.”

“It’s still rude; to even think that he did it.”

“I don’t even think he did it. I’m just looking at all options. I even asked you, in case you don’t remember.”

“Don’t talk down to me, like I’m some uneducated slave. Just because I’m a carpenter and you’re some hot shot forensic scientist.”

“Okay, Lai, that’s not even right. First of all, our occupations have nothing to do with this, and sec,” Toni was replying calmly until Laisrén interrupted.

“The hell they don’t, you think that I’m wrong, just because I don’t have a PhD,” he screamed.

Surprising even herself she was still able to continue calmly. “Secondly, it does take great intelligence to be a carpenter.”

“But not the right type of intelligence. Is that it?”

“There is not right and wrong type of intelligence, just different types, and none is better than the other.”

“Well it must be for the pay check to be so different.”

“Is that it Laisrén, you lived a lavish life style until you got out into the world and now you are upset because I’m bringing most of the bread to the table.”

“No, of course not,” he got defensive. “Sorry I brought anything up, you’re always right anyway.”

Toni sighed and went upstairs to change, ignoring her husband when he followed. They showered and dressed together, but didn’t talk or touch.

“Hello,” Toni greeted her sister-in-law with genuine warmth and care. As she hugged her Laisrén shook his brother’s hand.

“Why the long face?” Sarah muttered near her ear. “Are you and Lai fighting again?” she asked when her Toni shook her head, answering the first question.

Laisrén took his brother and sister-in-law to the table as his wife got the requested first course.

“So why the sudden dinner?” Étain asked digging his soup.

“I just figured some family time would be nice,” she got up and refilled his water.

“She also wants to accuse you of hurting our daughter,” Laisrén muttered.

“What in the hell do you mean?” he looked up, the spoon with his last bite of soup stopped midway to his mouth.

“I will explain,” Toni sat down with a sigh. “Lai, would you be a darling and go get the enchiladas and margaritas?”

He didn’t even answer; he just got up and walked to the kitchen.

“I heard Bríghid crying yesterday when Lai dressed her and he showed me a hand print, as if someone had hit her, or grabbed her.”

“He doesn’t even hit our children,” Sarah cried.

“I know this,” Toni sighed. “But only two men were around my children yesterday, you and your brother.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t Laisrén? Because I didn’t touch her,” Toni’s brother-in-law squirmed in his seat as he denied the accusation.

Toni stood up and turned a circle, trying to clear her head. “I know it wasn’t my husband because of hand size. My husband is a carpenter, he has large, well worked hands, your hands are much smaller, and smooth.”

“Oh, so jobs do have something to do with it,” Laisrén said bringing in the next course.

“Dammit Lai, shut up,” Toni slammed her fists on the table and looked over her shoulders. Sighing she stood up straight and turned to face her husband. “Besides, it has nothing to do with it, I didn’t mean it in a bad way.” Toni saw distant look in her husband’s eyes and leaned back against the table. “Ugh,” she ran her hand threw her hair in exhaustion. She didn’t even bother to excuse herself before walking out of the dining room.

She made her way upstairs, tears in her eyes; this would have never happened if she would have just refused to marry him.

“Oh honey,” Sarah came in and sat on the bed next to Toni.

“I don’t know what to do anymore!” she sobbed into her pillow.

“I know what you mean,” Sarah stroked Toni’s hair. “My marriage isn’t great either.”

“I’m so sorry, you don’t need to hear any of this you have the other brother to deal with,” Toni sat up and turned to face away from her friend. “Why don’t you both just go one home, I’ll see you at work Monday,” Sarah worked in the same building as her, just a completely different field.