This is my journal entry, or daily conversation, to an imaginary "best friend" |
My internal thermometer is fairly warm right now- maybe from the meeting we had for work earlier. My GM told me(in slightly broken English/ she’s from Indonesia) “…that’s the thing you do well, handling guests..you do that very well” . That felt really good deep down; I think they recognize I am trying to do this job well, but I still make mistakes from time to tim.. I just need more confidence in myself that i CAN do ALL PARTS of this job well. If I can get that "no big deal, I got this" mindset maybe I won't second guess myself as much.... Maybe we create our own inadaquicies.... like belief in the gap creates the gap kind of mind set... I'll work on telling myself this everyday and eventually forget and believe it and let my mind set up the paramaters. I should probably stop smoking. I guess the only reason I don’t is because I’m scared. I’m scared a life of not smoking would unravel some of my friendships and my current… spot (i guess you’d call it).. in life. Ya’ know? I like my “smoking” friends. I like my “smoking” situations, but it’s drying up all my money and I know I should stop, but I keep putting it off…. “I’ll quit when I graduate”.. “I’ll quit when I move home”, “I’ll quit when I get a new job” or “..after this bag is empty”.. But the habit has formed a deep trail in my mind over the years…. but maybe it’s time to start making a new trail….? Mike |