Walk Away

I have waited, and waited, and waited. And waited some more. I was waiting for them to return like I knew them before. Before they changed to someone that I didn’t know. To someone I didn’t like. I waited for an apology, even though I knew it would never come. But I still waited, and I still hoped.

We used to be the best of friends. We talked all the time, hung out as much as we could. I trusted them, they trusted me. They were there for me during hard times, and I was there for them. We were so close, that it seemed that nothing could separate us. But just like that, we were strangers.

As I waited, they accused me of things I didn’t do. Told me I needed to change myself. Complained about me all the time. They wouldn’t own up to their mistakes. They acted as if they were perfect. They treated everyone else like a friend, and treated me like an outcast. Everything I did was wrong. I was not good enough, I was never good enough. I was sad. Extremely depressed. My self-esteem and self-confidence was at an all-time low.

That was when I decided that I had enough. I was done. I wiped away my tears, got up, and walked away. I realized that they’ll never change back to who they used to be, they’ll never apologize, they’ll never want me as a friend again.

I had to let them go, I had to walk away. Waiting only made things worse. Defending myself made things worse. Trying to be their friend made things worse. I couldn’t handle the stress, the depression, the constant low self-esteem. So I walked away.

Since I have walked away, I’m happier. I have amazing people in my life now. My self-esteem isn’t quite so low. I’m not as angry as I used to be.

But as I keep walking away, I still sometimes think of them. Sometimes I quietly look over my shoulder, hoping to see them running after me. I sometimes hope that they will change back to the friend they used to be. But I see nothing but my footprints.

I turn my head, and keep walking. I let a few tears escape.

They aren’t going to come back. They’ll never change back to who they used to be. They’ll never be my friends again. It’s hard to accept, but that’s the way it has to be.

I’m still walking, no going back.