Drowning

I know what drowning feels like.

I am lost in a sea, my clothes waterlogged and so heavy.  They drag me down as I fight towards the surface for a breath.

Just one breath of air.

Just enough air to allow me a faint glimmer of hope that the cold ocean will not claim me; just enough air to allow me to continue to fight.  The surface is right there, just a few feet above my head, taunting me with its promise of life and warmth, and I keep fighting for it.  When I break the surface, I take a breath.

Just one breath of air.

I sink back into the sea, my heavy jacket pulling me down, and I know I have to remove it to survive.  My fingers, numb from the cold, fumble desperately with the buttons as I run out of oxygen.  Three buttons left, then two, then one.  My head once again bobs above the surface, and I feel the sun's warmth as I take a breath.

Just one breath of air.

I slip back into the icy depths and attempt to shed my jacket.  It comes off of my shoulders, but my arms are now trapped behind me; I cannot fight.  As I sink deeper into the darkness I thrash about, trying to free myself, but the deeper I sink the darker it gets.  Despair sets in, for I am so far from the surface that I worry I will never make it back in time.  I worry that I will die here, and will lose everything I have been fighting for.  I pull, I strain and I fight to free myself.  My despair turns to rage.  Summoning every ounce of strength I have left, I pull against my bonds one more time.  One arm is released, and in the inky blackness I struggle with the remaining sleeve.  It comes free, and I swim towards the surface.  Once there, I take a breath of air.

Just one breath of air.

Then another.

I float on the surface taking in big gulps of air.  I have survived!  I am alive!  I can feel the sun's warmth on my face and I can breathe.  I can relax and take comfort in the fact that it may not be so bad after all.  Maybe, just maybe my troubles are over.

Then the sky grows black, and the deluge begins.