Amazing You

         My German shepherd, Gustav, flopped down on the floor beside me and sighed loudly.  I patted his back as I watched TV from the floor in front of the couch.  There was a knock on my apartment door and Gustav lifted his head, ears perked up and listening.  I got up and walked to the door, Gustav close behind.  The person outside knocked again and Gustav barked.

         “Shh, dog,” I held my hand out to him.

         “Kara!  You home?” I heard Chris’s voice beyond the door.

         I opened the door for him and stepped aside, inviting him in.  “No, not at all.”  He came inside, patting Gustav on the head and making himself at home on my couch.  “Wanna let me know why you’re here?” I asked him.

         “What, I can’t come and visit my friend on a lovely Saturday evening?” Chris scratched Gustav behind his ear.

         “Ha-ha not without some kind of reason, no,” I crossed my arms across my chest and flipped my blonde hair over my shoulder.  The sun from the window was shining on my face.

         He laughed, stood up and walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist.  “I wanted to ask you if you’d maybe wanna go see a movie with me?”

         I squirmed out of his grasp and stepped back.  “You’re my friend, Chris, nothing more.  I love you, but not like that.  Sorry.”

         He sighed.  “Uh, what if we just went as friends?  I kinda left today open so we could hang out,” he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

         “You are not gonna leave till I agree to this, are you?”

         Chris smiled at me.  “Nope, not at all.”

         I looked at my dog and he looked back at me.  “Gustav, show Chris to the door, will you?”

         Gustav almost smiled at me as he walked to the door, back to Chris, pulled on his pant leg and went back to the door.  The large German shepherd sat down in front of the door and barked at the tall, brown haired man standing in my apartment.

         “Oh, now that’s cute.  How’d you get him to do that?”

         I laughed loudly.  “Out, Chris.”

         “C’mon, Kara, please?” he begged.

         I laughed.  “No!  Now get out!” I guided him to the door, opened it and pushed him out.

         He turned around to look at me as I closed the door.  “Kara, I-”

         I slammed the door in his face and went back to watching TV.  About a half hour later I heard somebody playing their guitar in the hallway.  I got up off the floor beside my dog and went to investigate.  I opened the door and Chris, who was sitting on the ground and leaning on my door, fell into my apartment.

         He stopped playing his guitar and looked up at me, smiling.  “Hey there, cutie.”

         My neighbor across the hall opened his door to see what all the commotion was about and saw Chris lying on the floor in front of me, guitar in hand.  “Not sure I wanna know what this is about,” and with that he went back into his apartment and closed his door.

         “Chris … the fuck are you doing?” I asked him as Gustav licked the man’s face.

         “Please go see a movie with me?”

         “Goose, inside,” I told my dog and he walked past me and back into the living room.  “Chris, go home.  You can’t sit out here all night long.”

         Unfortunately, Chris takes everything as a challenge.  He sat outside my door, playing with his guitar, for a while.  I started throwing things at the door, but nothing fazed him.  My phone rang.  It was my neighbor, Henry, across the hall, who had seen what was going on before.

         “He-”

         “SHUT HIM UP!  Just let him into your apartment and be done already!  He’s driving me insane!” and he hung up.

         I sighed, put the phone down and began to walk toward the door when I stopped and listened.  Chris was singing.  I’d never heard him sing before and he was pretty damn good.  I’d heard the song somewhere before and Chris was definitely doing a good job of it.  I heard his muffled singing from the other side of my door as I leaned an ear against it and listened carefully.



“Stay away, stay close enough to care

I love that name, yeah I see it everywhere

So can we get along, can we get along much more

Just a little bit, babe a little bit more



You're amazing. You’re amazing and it’s true

No one can save me; no one can save me like you do

This is crazy, yeah it’s crazy but it’s true

Baby save me, baby save me like you do



And when you found me I was barely breathing

You take my heart and you make it even

I'll be your strong side

I've grown

And every part of me will never go back

It’s what you started in me you better know I'm all yours...



So believe me when I say

You're amazing, you're amazing and it’s true.

No one can save me, so baby save me like you do

This is crazy, yeah it’s crazy but it’s true

Baby save me, ba-”



         I opened the door, causing him to stop abruptly and he fell onto the floor again, looking up at me.  He smiled when he saw me.  He stood up and faced me, green eyes glinting in the dim light of the hallway.

         “What’re you doing?” I questioned him.

         “Trying to tell you something,” his hand rubbed the back of his neck again.

         Nervous habit, I guess.  “And what exactly is it you’re trying to tell me?”

         “That I, uh…um, I…” he stumbled with his words.  I looked at him expectantly and Gustav sat down beside me, staring at him.  “I…I love you, Kara.  I fell in love with you the first time I saw you.”

         I just stood there, staring into his eyes.  I didn’t know what to say.  I had never thought of him that way.  He’s always been my friend.  He’s always been there for me when I needed him.  He was there to help me through every, single heartbreak and he would always wait patiently while I dated jerk after jerk.  He even came with me to pick out Gustav from the shelter.  He’d been with me through everything.  We’d been best friends since high school.  I couldn’t even remember the last time anybody told me they loved me.

         “Kara?  What’s wrong?” he asked me.

         It was then that I realized that I was crying and he was holding me in his arms.  He rubbed my back, trying to comfort me.  I was sobbing so hard I couldn’t get out what I was attempting to say.  He scooped me up, took me to my room and tucked me into my bed.  He knelt beside my bed and stroked my hair gently.

         “You need to sleep,” and with that he kissed my forehead and stood up to leave.

         Before he could walk out of the room I grabbed his hand.  He looked back at me concernedly and knelt back down in front of me.

         “Please don’t go.  I don’t wanna be alone tonight,” I could feel the tears continue to run down my face.

         He smiled at me a bit and climbed in beside me.  He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close to him and whispering nice things into my ear.  I soon fell asleep in his arms.

         The next morning I woke up to a loud crashing sound, almost as if somebody was in my kitchen, rifling through drawers and cupboards.  Chris was no longer lying beside me so I got up and went to investigate the noise.  As I entered the kitchen I saw Chris standing in front of my stove, frying some eggs and attempting to butter some toast at the same time.

         “Oh, you’re awake!  I decided to make you breakfast,” he smiled at me and continued the task at hand.

         “The last time you cooked for me you almost burned your parents’ house down,” I chuckled at him.

         “Yeah well that was a long time ago.  I’ve been practicing since then.”

         I walked over to where I kept Gustav’s food and dish and fed him before sitting down at the small table.  “Alright, but make sure you make enough for yourself too.”

         “I am.  Don’t worry about me.” He set a plate in front of me and sat down across from me with his own food.

         We sat there eating in silence for a while.  Just as we had finished, Gustav walked over to me with his leash in his mouth.  He dropped it at my feet and whined.

         “Alright, Goose.  Chris, you wanna come with?” I picked up the leash and hooked it onto my dog’s collar.

         Chris jumped up out of his chair and stole the leash from me.  “Of course I wanna come with,” he beamed.

         We left my apartment building quietly.  Once we got down to the street we walked silently beside each other.

         Gustav started barking at a cat that ran down from a tree and darted around us and back up the tree.  This caused the massive dog to run around me and Chris, wrapping his leash around our legs and in that classic 101 Dalmatians moment our faces ended up a mere few inches apart and our bodies pressed up against each others as if we were trying to show each other this much affection.  He instinctively wrapped his arms around my waist and I put my hands on his shoulders.  I looked into his eyes and I could see so much love spilling out of them and into my eyes.  If Gustav hadn’t then yanked on his leash at that moment I would have started crying again.

         As Gustav continued to chase the cat, Chris and I tumbled to the ground in a heap, causing my dog to forget about the cat and stare down at us with a confused look on his face.  Chris lifted himself off of me and helped me up.  He pulled me in close and kissed my forehead, as if to make sure I was okay, but also just because he could.  I closed my eyes and buried my face in his chest.  Maybe I do love him.  Only one way to find out.  I let out a deep breath and his arms tightened around me.  I looked up at him and a smile spread across his face.  I smiled back and stood higher on my toes.  He leaned in closer to my face and kissed me gently.  I kissed him back.  It was a nice, warm kiss.  I hadn’t felt like this in a long time.  I guess I really did love him.  My brain just didn’t tell me until now.

         Gustav nudged my leg and we broke our kiss.  We both looked down at the young dog and Chris laughed.  The dog had his leash in his mouth again, almost as if he was trying to walk himself.  I took the leash from my dog, laughed and held Chris’s hand and we all walked home.