A New Me

All I want to do is get out of this place, I thought when sitting in the corner of my room. I’m in rehab, all because I decided to try drugs. That was the biggest mistake that I have ever made. I’ve been in here since September 21st, the day my mom told me its rehab, or I tell the cops. It has been about three months since then and I absolutely hate it here. I do not get to do anything, and I mean nothing. I was always used to being able to go outside and play sports. Now, if I want to go outside, I don’t have anything to do, no sports, just sit there. Being locked up here is getting old. I just want to go home.

It’s my senior year; I’m tall, dark-haired, athletic and smart. I should be captain of the football team. That is what I have always wanted. I would be the starting quarterback if I was there. For once, I actually would rather be in school. Now I do not even get to see my friends or my family. They are all so mad at me. Today is December 21 and Christmas is right around the corner. I get to go home tomorrow to see my family for the holiday. I’m pretty excited because I have not seen them, although they probably won’t really talk to me. Every time that we are together, it is a little bit awkward and it’s hard to find something we can actually talk about. Last time, my nine year old sister, Joanne, asked what happened. I told her I will tell her the story someday, just not today.

As I pull up in the driveway with my mom, my sister is waiting outside; I haven’t seen her since the last holiday, Thanksgiving. Seeing her made me realize how big of a mistake drugs were, because now, I don’t get to see her so much. When I got out of the car, I was greeted with a huge hug from Joanne. When we got inside and I put my stuff away in my room, I went down to talk to my dad. Before I could even get down the steps, Joanne came out of nowhere and asked me, “Will you please come play soccer with me in the snow!”

I replied, “How could I ever turn you down!” So we went to the basement to get out snow gear on and went outside.

After playing with my sister for awhile Mom called us in for dinner. Dinner was nice and peaceful. The best part is when my mom told me the good news. She said “Ezra, if everything goes well, you might be able to come back home in about a month.”

Then my dad says, “Can’t wait to have you back son, I could use a lot of help around the house.”

Before I knew it, it was Christmas day and we were all downstairs opening presents. I got clothes a Hines Ward jersey; he’s my favorite football player. Joanne got a Hope Solo jersey and some games she’s been wanting and mom and dad got gift cards. Later on we had our Christmas dinner and then went to bed. I am going back to rehab tomorrow and I am not very excited, though I might get to come home next month.

When I got there and my family was gone, I asked what I had to do so that I could go back home for good. I was told that I have to write a paper on my life since I began drugs and how it began and ended, and why it was wrong. This shouldn’t be hard, I’ve thought about this many times, now all I have to do is write it, I thought. So I began to write my paper.

Three months ago, my best friend Stefani went on a trip to Spain, and that is when it all started. We meet in about first grade, and have been best friends ever since. I began hanging out with other people because she was not here. When Stefani got back she was always trying to get a hold of me, but I always ignored her. I figured I did not need her; I had better and cooler friends now. Looking back, I completely regret it. Now, she will not answer my calls. I guess I deserve it. Stefani was the one person that I could always count on, and I let her down.

When I started hanging out with them, my new friends and I, did some pretty crazy things. We were always going to parties and getting wild. Eventually we started to drink. One night we were at Jordan’s house and got a hold of some vodka. We ended up getting very drunk. Jordan had some drugs so he and a few others decided they would try them. They kept nagging me to do them all night, but it just didn’t seem right.

Jordan said “Come on man, it’s not bad! You will feel good after you do it.”

“I’m sure I will” I said, “but I don’t want to get into that kind of trouble, drugs aren’t very good for you.”

“Don’t be a chicken, you’ll feel better once you try. I already feel like I’m in heaven.” Said Collin, he was the first person to try it. I figured why not everyone else is doing it so why not me too? For a couple of weeks we were just smoking pot. From then on, we started to get into heroin, and cocaine.

At this point, I started to stay away from home. I never told my mom where I was going or what I was doing. She probably just thought I was being a normal teenager. All the money I had I used to get drugs. I began smoking all the time, and if I ran out, I did things for the drugs. I had to do things like steal and even hurt people, but I was so messed up I didn’t even realize how wrong it was. I always wonder why I even left my home in the first place; everything was perfect there, except me. The only reason I’m still not on those streets today is because of Stefani.

Stefani found out about my drug use shortly after school started. One day we were talking in the hall, and I was totally high.

“Why have you been ignoring me all summer? Is something wrong?” Stefani asked curiously.

I stuttered to say, “Uh w-what? C-can we talk some other time?”

“See there you go, putting me off again!” She said angrily. “What has been up with you?”

I didn’t really know what to say, or what was going on so I said, “I gotta go, sorry,” and walked away.

After that Stefani knew something was going on. She always would try to get my attention in the halls. I still didn’t want to talk to her. Even if I would have, I would not know what to say. Later that day I was out in the woods behind the school with Collin and Jordan. We were smoking some weed and had a few beers. Stefani was looking for me, and she found us, in the woods, high. I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t a big deal but she was very mad. She said that I should tell my mother and if I didn’t, she would. I got very angry when she said this and couldn’t control my-self; I pushed her against the tree and walked away.

When I was sort of back to normal again, I realized what I did was completely wrong and tried to apologize but she wouldn’t talk to me. Stefani ended up telling my mother about what she saw and my mom confronted me.

“What the heck were you thinking!? You can kill yourself with drugs!” said my mom.

I was nervous; I replied “I’m sorry mom. I never realized what it could do to me.”

She didn’t believe me she asked, “So that’s where you’ve been, you’ve have been getting drunk and doing drugs!? How long have you been doing this stuff!?”

I started to answer “Mo...”

But before I could start she screamed at me, “How long!?”

I quietly answer “about three months…”

She wasn’t happy when she heard my answer. My mom then grounded me and said it was for a year, at the least. No sports, no friends, nothing for a year. Next thing I knew it her and dad were talking about it and what they should do with me. They decided rehab.

Doing drugs was wrong in so many ways. First off, it was illegal so I was broke the law many times. Drugs also could have killed me, or caused me to get cancer. When on drugs I didn’t realize what I was really doing so I could have hurt someone badly that I loved, or anyone. Doing drugs didn’t just hurt me though; it hurt my family and my best friend. If I could take back those three months I would in a heartbeat, but I guess you can say, I learned my lesson.

I got out of rehab after going back for just one week. I spent time with my family and returned back to school. I am starting all over, a new me. My mom asked Stefani to come over to talk to me and she agreed to. It’s time to really apologize, and thank her for saving my life.