A Road Never Traveled

A few weeks after my dad died, I found a box of his old atlases in the corner of a closet in his house. I took the box home and as I sat at my desk looking through the old atlases, I remember him reading them, traveling in his mind. And every once in a while he would make those travels a reality.

I pulled out an atlas from ten years ago and as I thumbed through it, I found a picture tucked in between the Colorado pages. I put the atlas on the desk and looked at the photo. It was a picture of my dad, wearing army fatigues. Next to him was an attractive young Korean woman wearing a dress. They were arm in arm and looked happy. I checked the back of the photo and all it said was "Pusan, 1953."

I never saw this picture before and I didn't know who she was. Dad was in the Korean War as an Army mail clerk and unless you pressed him, he didn't talk much about his experiences over there.

I looked at the map of Colorado. In typical dad fashion, he had a highlighted route that ended up in a small town in Northwestern Colorado called Marybelle. I looked at the photo, then at the map. Could the woman in the photo be living in Marybelle, Colorado? Dad went to Colorado several times, but I don't remember him going to Marybelle.

Later, I looked through dad's pictures from Korea, but she wasn't in any of them. I did find a Cho Hee Lewis from Marybelle, Colorado, but I didn't find out her age. I did manage to get a phone number, but I couldn't bring myself to call her. What if she didn't know my dad? But what if she did?

A couple of weeks later, I was at home when I got a call on my cell phone. It had a 970 area code, from Colorado. I usually let unfamiliar calls go to voice mail, but I answered this one.

"Hello?"

"Oh, hello, is this Mike Thompson?" The voice sounded like an older woman with an Asian accent.

"Yes, I am." Could this be who I thought it was? "Is this Cho Hee Lewis?"

"Yes, it is." There was a pause. "I heard about your father. I'm sorry about your loss. He was a good man."

"Thank you." I wondered how she found out.

"When I got your phone number, I wanted to call you. Did your father say anything about me?"

He didn't. Should I tell the truth and possibly hurt her feelings? I said, "I found a photo of you and dad in one of his atlases."

I heard her laugh. "I remember that photo. One of his army buddies took it. Calvin and I were arm in arm and I was wearing my favorite dress. He never mentioned me, did he?"

I said sheepishly, "No, he didn't. Sorry."

"No need to be sorry. Calvin wasn't much for sharing what he knew."

She knew my dad all right. "Did you date my dad during the war?"

"Yes, I did. I met Calvin at a Pusan nightclub. I remember how charming he was and he didn't drink alcohol. We got talking and we fell for each other. But like most romances, it was more of a youthful fling than true love. And our cultures were different. We dated for a couple of months and by the time your father left Korea, it was over. We weren't meant to be."

Dad didn't meet my mom until after the war. I was curious to find out about this part of dad's life. But I wanted to know more about Cho Hee Lewis too. "How did you end up in Marybelle, Colorado?"

She cleared her throat and paused a few seconds before speaking again. "Mike, I have something to tell you. A few months after your father left Korea, I had his child, a boy."

I couldn't believe what I heard. I was stunned. But I knew she was likely telling the truth. I went to a chair and sat down. "I have a step brother? Did dad know?"

She said sadly, "I never told him."

"You never told him? Why?"

"I didn't want to bring shame to Calvin or your family." She took a deep breath and continued. "His name was Dae-Ho. It was very difficult raising a son, especially a half American son, out of wedlock. My family more or less disowned me and I went to Seoul to find a new life. I did ok, but I decided to move to the United States in 1958 and ended up in Denver. I did have plans to find your father, but I found out he was married to your mother, so I kept my distance."

"Where is Dae-Ho? I'd like to meet him."

I could hear her start to cry. "Dae-Ho died in a car accident in 1995. He was a computer programmer in Denver. He never married. I miss him so much. He was a lot like your father."

This was almost too much to take in. My dad had a son he never knew. I had a step brother I would never meet. I took a deep breath and began to feel tears well up in my eyes. "I'm so sorry. Did Dae-Ho ever make any effort to contact my dad?"

I heard her take a deep breath and say, "When he was eighteen, he had some interest in meeting your father. My husband encouraged it, but I cautioned against it. I didn't want to upset your family. Like me, Dae-Ho kept his distance." Her crying became more pronounced and she choked out, "I'm sorry."

I wiped tears from my eyes. "Don't be sorry. I wished you had told my dad, but I can see why you didn't. Thanks for letting let me know." I remembered the atlas and the Colorado map marked in highlighter. "Did my dad ever visit you in Marybelle?"

She sniffed twice and said, "No, he didn't. However, after your mother died, he wrote a letter to let me know how he was doing and about you and your sister. I wrote him back and let him know how I was doing, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him about Dae-Ho. I wished I had."

I wondered what dad did with the letter. I could hear the pain in her voice, the loss she had for Dae-Ho and the loss of not telling dad about him. I asked, "So tell me about you and your family. I'd love to hear it."

We talked for about 30 minutes. I found out her husband was a police detective in Denver and they retired to Marybelle. Her husband died in 2000, but she had a son who was a detective in San Francisco and a daughter who lived in Denver. She talked about her grand kids and great grand kids like any proud grandparent would. I made a promise to go out to Marybelle to visit, which I intend to do. We said our goodbyes and I set my phone on an end table.

I got the atlas and photo and looked at them for a while. I thought about the life my dad lived and what could have been. I picked up the phone and called my sister. "Rose, you're not going to believe what I found out about dad."