How to be a Good Fairy

Don’t behave like a goblin, son! None of them is any good.
Don’t behave like a goblin, son! Especially when talking to another race
         — Humans, in particular.

You must appear neat in front of the humans.
You wouldn’t want them to look down on us.
So dress smart and comb that hair,
Brush your teeth and wash your face.
Although, I must say,
Don’t use that hair gel.
Why not? Because it stinks,
The kind of smell only goblins would wear.

Treat the humans with respect.
Don’t raise your chin too high — they might not like that.
Don’t make a rude gesture — they might not like that.
Don’t knock them out — they really hate that.
But isn’t that we usually do
To one another as a joke? Well, son —
The humans never joke.
They’re too civilised for a joke — and that’s why
They’re far better than us.
We must follow their examples
And not behave like goblins we always were.

Talk slowly and keep your eyes down.
Don’t look at them in the eyes, as if you’re equal.
They’re better than us, you know?
They deserve our respect.
Why? Even though we respect them,
Do they ever respect us? Well, probably not.
But does that even matter? Who are you to argue?
I don’t like it. Who says you must like it?
Your opinion counts nothing before theirs.
Only goblins argue — good fairies will do what they’re told.

Always wait for the humans to talk first.
Don’t do otherwise, as if you’re equal.
Grant whatever wish they ask for.
Remember: they’re higher than us.
Who says so? Everyone says so!
Don’t interrupt when the humans talk,
As if you’re their equal!
Only goblins would do so,
And they’re all up to no good.

         Well! If only goblins are allowed to do just that,
         Why don’t I become a goblin
         And always up to no good?





An entry for "October Novel Prep Challenge" 
Contest one: Protagonist's background
Can you guess which one will be my character?