Who Could Have Known?

My First Daughter, Kristin, was born after 2 days of labor. The nurses whisked her away. 

While I was still in a drug induced euphoria my Dr. asked me if my family had a history of large heads. Oddly, we do have larger than normal heads, not freakishly large but bigger than normal.

The Dr, took that information and left the room leaving me with a lot of questions.

Shortly a nurse came to check in with me. "How is my baby and when can I hold her?" I asked. Without missing a beat she informed me my daughter was in isolation because she was born so long after my water broke. In other words, she could have an infection that could jeapordize not only her life but the other babies in the nursery as well.

Within a couple of hours a nurse appeared in my room with a consent form to sign allowing a spinal tap to be done on a baby only 2 hours old. This test would show the presence of bacteria if she had an infection so I was urged to sign so treatment could begin as soon as possible. 30 years later I still don't know the results of that test. I do know I went home without her and she spent her first Christmas in the hospital. In isolation. Christmas was also the first time I got to see and hold my baby girl. Only 15 minutes because Isolation has strict vistiation rules, but I held her for 15 minutes + 5 more before the nurse told me I'd have to put her back in the isolet and leave. Again. Without my Daughter.

That was the first time in my Daughters life that I would have to accept an illogical and painful truth that a medical professional would give me about events happening in Kristin's life.



Kristin came home 2 days after her first Christmas and we welcomed her with love and affection. Her big brother wasn't so excited but he grew to be very protective of his little sister. 2 days after Kristin came home we took her to have her pictures done. This was 30 years ago and digital prints were unknown so we waited for 2 weeks to get our prints. When I looked at those pictures then I saw my beautiful little girl. When family and friends saw the pictures I started getting phone calls. A lot of calls. I called my friend Sue to come over for coffee. Over coffee I brought up the calls from friends and family and how people were expressing concern for my daughters health. Quietly, and with effort Sue looked me in the eye and told me that my baby didn't look "normal" and she should probably be seen by a specialist. "What kind of specialist?" I wanted to know. "You should take her to a Neurologist and you should do it soon".  I was devestated, I told her that Kristin was such a good baby, I had a hard time getting her to stay awake to eat, she slept thru the night, she never cried, and the only thing that concerned me was that able to sleep thru almost any loud noise, her brother dropping toys, the dogs bark. I was concerned she may have hearing problems. Sue took my hand and she urged me to take Kris to the walk in clinic to have a simple hearing test. I thought "this is something I can do and maybe mention she is struggling to eat enough as well." The following morning I bundled up my beautiful little girl all in pink, and we went to the walk in clinic. Kristin was 3 weeks old.