Ethel's Birthday

         Ethel looked in the mirror and fluffed her silver locks of hair on the side of her wrinkled face. She gently applied a light red topping of
lipstick and puckered her lips back and forth so that it was even. It was Ethel’s birthday today. She was 101 years old today and everyone kept
reminding her how great she looked these days. It wasn’t everyone that lived to be 101 years old. It took careful planning. You had to stay in shape.
Fit of mind and of body. You had to be resourceful enough to keep life going or, truth be told, clever enough to take it away if the actual duty served
you right.
         Mildred had been 103 years old. The pride of the Holly Oaks Retirement home. Everyone had always crowded around Mildred and called
her names like “cute”, “sweet”, and “precious”. Ethel hated the fact that Mildred, that old wrinkled bitch, received all that attention. But, Ethel had
taken care of that problem. She had resolved that issue with the elegant cunning that only a proper lady has.
         She slowly ran the pick through her glimmering silver locks and smiled into the mirror. Ethel felt like a movie star today. A birthday was a
very special ordeal indeed when you were the oldest person in the retirement home. You received extra cake, which Ethel would of course refuse for
her figure’s sake, and the whole staff would sing to you. You would also get your picture taken for the town paper. That was the big ticket item right
there. Ethel knew that she would look better than Mildred gracing the pages of the Holly Oak Reporter. She demanded that place of honor was hers.
She would put that picture in her room and stare at it for hours on end. She most certainly would.
         Mildred had been sleeping in her bed late last week. The old bitch snored like a man so it was always easy for Ethel to know when she
had fallen asleep. She had planned for a long time to take care of that loose end. That night- the time had finally come.
         Several of the nursing home staff had called in that night. Funny how there are just some days of the week when everyone seems to get
sick. Also funny how mixing your feces in the coffee maker in the employee lounge brought about that kind of day. Very funny indeed, Ethel giggled.
         There had been only a handful of staff on duty and Ethel had made her way to Mildred’s room in the thick blanket of silence that fell over
the night. It wasn’t a fancy kind of place where you were always under the watchful eyes of electronic cameras. They walked the halls normally. But
tonight, no one was there to do that duty except for one orderly- Phil. Ethel knew that Phil was too interested in talking to Betty at the front desk to
really do his job properly. It would be easy for her to leave her room and head down the hall. Foolish young boys were always thinking with their
dicks instead of using their brains.
         Ethel had walked into Mildred’s room with the cling wrap she had smuggled out of the lunchroom from her leftovers. They weren’t normally
allowed to take anything out of the lunchroom, but Ethel was very clever. The plastic wrap crinkled in her hand as she slid the walker ever so softly
towards the edge of Mildred’s bed. Ethel unfurled the ball of plastic wrap and pressed it fiercely over Mildred’s face. The snoring stopped and
Mildred’s eyes jerked open on the other side of the plastic in a look of horror. Ethel leaned over the edge of the bed to lay over Mildred’s arms and
held the cling wrap over her face with all of her might. She wore a wide smile the entire time, she remembered, as Mildred gasped for the breath she
would never get. A proper lady always smiles.
         Mildred had simply died in her sleep according to the orderlies and they had wheeled her wrinkled, old body out the front door and would
certainly put her in a muddy hole in the ground sometime soon. Ethel wasn’t certain when. But that was of no concern to her today. Today was her
day, dammit. That old bitch was out of the way and it was the era of Ethel Morton, by God. She would arrive in the cafeteria to cheers and applause,
the way it should have always been. She would sit in her seat and enjoy the wonderful words of praise. She would be “cute”, “sweet”, and, let’s not
forget, “precious”.
         Ethel smiled in the mirror and admired her beauty. Mildred had just been a bitch. It was Ethel’s turn to shine like the movie star she knew
that she was. She would soon have her smiling face, the last thing that silly, little woman ever saw, gracing the pages of the newspaper for all of the
town to admire for years to come.