Happy Birthday, Sweetheart

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Happy Birthday, Sweetheart. The words seem empty and meaningless as I arrange the floral bouquet. The solemn silence of the winter morning is as dismal as my mood while I tend to your rest, and the chill in the air reflects my heart's emptiness.

Then, as I gaze at the sharp contrast of the colorful flowers to the blank grey stone, I see your smile and my spirit lifts a little. You are still my winter rose and I return your smile.

I reach down and pull one long stemmed flower from the vase and hold it close to my nose. The aroma, fresh and sweet, bursts into memories of our sweetest days when life was full in your laughter. So I close my eyes and brush the petals to my cheek. The warmth of your touch further melts the hardness of my heart and returns a peacefulness to my spirit. I decide to keep this flower.

Time stands still as we talk together. I share stories with you about our children and grandchildren. Sometimes you respond with a laughing approval and other times you remind me with guarded glances filled with concern to be patient or watchful. But whatever your response, it fills me with happiness. It is so wonderful to hear your voice again.

I miss you so much. I tell you all about what's going on in my life now and how I fill my days in your absence. You think it's kind of comical that I've started a new hobby as a poet because I always seemed so matter-of-fact in our life together and your laughter echoed so loudly that I looked about to see if anyone else heard it, and no one was here but us. Somehow I found that encouraging.

As the sun climbs to its meridian height the warmth of the day parallels my melted heart and I begin to feel more satisfied. I share with you the family's plans for your birthday celebration gathering. Everyone will be there and we'll have all of the traditional birthday treats. Your favorite cake will be adorned with a candle and as always I'll help you blow it out. The house will be refilled with the happiness that only you can bring. And it will be a beautiful day once again.

The world is coming alive now. Others are beginning to visit the gardens here and I can hear them as they move about. It's an unwelcomed distraction to the peaceful presence you provide.

I'm going to go now. I have to get back home and begin hanging some of the decorations for your party. Don't worry, Danny and Rose are helping me, so I won't be climbing any step ladders. I'm going to take this flower back home with me to remember our visit today. I always feel much better after we've spent some time together so I be coming back on our Anniversary next month. I love you.

I bend down closely and kiss the cold grey stone of your marker, but the flavor is a sorry substitute.


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