Living The Dream - Part 1

LIVING THE DREAM - PART 1 - NOT SO BRIEF ENCOUNTERS FROM AN ABSURD MIND.....



          It was a new year, and exciting times lay ahead for the residents living above the Folded Arms pub. Living under the roof was Nathan Simpson. A 23 year old seemingly content with life, ready to face his next challenge in life. And challenges he has certainly faced in life. Be it anger issues growing up as a child, being attacked in his previous residence, run down by a car, having to deal with back issues as a result, the disappearance and subsequent search for his best friend, or the singeing of his penis whilst cooking Jamie Oliver style, Nathan has been through trying times, but has generally come though it all. And 6 months ago declared his love for his partner Sharon in a commitment ceremony (a ceremony decided on as Nathan didn’t believe in marriage, and more importantly, was too tight to pay for a wedding!)

          Sharon Thompson is 2 years older than her partner and in the 12 months she has known him has certainly had her patience tested like never before. The first meeting between the pair ended with Sharon slapping him, but eventually discovered they shared a bond, a bond which grew deeper the longer they spent together. Despite a rather unusual proposal, where Nathan knelt in dog excrement, Sharon accepted and committed herself to him soon later. On return from their honeymoon, she revealed she was expecting her first child, a revelation that caused many to wonder who the father was, as a result of Nathan’s previous abstinence.

          Chris Parkes, 24, has been Nathan’s best friend for 20 years. They’ve grown up together, and have remained loyal companions as they grew up, with Chris directing Nathan most of the way. They have had their problems, once resulting in Nathan costing Chris his job as a prank backfired. Chris also developed a gambling problem, which when he gambled away the monthly rent, resulted in him running away. Eventually the pair reunited, when Nathan found him dressed and working as a medieval knight at Warwick Castle. Chris now lives with Nathan and Sharon, and works in the pub.

          Also living with them is Aaron Bate, 15. Younger brother of Chris and Nathan’s former flatmate Joe, Aaron came to live with the trio 2 years ago, when his parents were tragically killed in a car accident. Struggling to deal with the ordeal, Aaron was eventually helped through it all with the love of his brother, and the advice of Nathan, who also knew what it was like to lose a parent. Whilst Aaron and Nathan share a strong bond, it doesn’t stop the torment each other delight’s in putting the other through, which inevitably ends with Aaron coming out the victor. Aaron stayed with Nathan and Sharon, so as not to disturb his schooling for the second time in 18 months, when Joe moved to London.

          Joe Bate, 22, now works in London as coach of the Brentford under 14, football team after impressing scouts with his leadership qualities, but still makes occasional visits to see his brother and friends. He was Nathan and Chris’ flatmate whilst the three studied at University. Joe has an eye for the ladies, which previously caused problems when he was caught kissing Chris’ girlfriend Charlotte 2 years ago, problems which were ironed out whilst they awaited medical news of Nathan who had just been run over. Girl problems also existed just over a year ago, when his then girlfriend Rachael, was revealed to have played a part in the crash that caused his parents death, a revelation that sent the two brothers off the rails, with Joe briefly becoming dependant on alcohol.

          Also an occasional visitor was David, Sharon’s rather naive and innocent 12 year old little brother with a rather obscure fixation with the game Jenga. In recent times, the street smart Aaron has taken David under his wing, to teach him the basics of life, much to Nathan’s annoyance.

          Recently however, strange occurrences have been going on under this roof, or should that be stranger than normal, as some of Nathan’s recent actions were becoming increasingly under the microscope, with his every move seemingly being watched.

          "You see that there David? That is what is known in these parts as the Greater Snoring Tit!!"

          "Word!" acknowledged David, as Nathan snored away to his hearts content, oblivious to Aaron and David peering around his bedroom door.

          "OI! What are you two up to?" Sharon asked quietly as she spotted the pair up to potential mischief.

          "Nothing." replied an innocent looking Aaron, poking his head back out of the bedroom. "Just wondering how long one man can actually sleep for."

          "You know Nathan's been having sleeping problems lately."

          "Really? Five to twelve and still dead to the world? Doesn't look like he's having that many problems to me! Besides, I thought it was supposed to be the over way around. You're the one heavily pregnant, aren't you the one that's supposed to be off your feet and taking it easy?"

          "Thanks for your concern Aaron, but I'm not likely to forget this thing growing in my belly am I? Though as the time gets nearer, I'm still not sure I actually want the day to come...."

          "You made the deal with him! If it was a boy, it took Nathan's name and he also got to name him, and vice versa if it was a girl in your favour."

          "I still can't believe that I agreed to that. I mean what the bloody hell was I thinking. I should have known he'd decide on something bloody stupid."

          "To be fair, wasn't your preferred name for a boy Samson? Samson Simpson!!"

          "Aaron, anything, and I mean anything, is better than your first child being given the name Bartholomew Jay Simpson!!!!!"

          "Bart Simpson!!!!" sniggered David.

          "Yes David, I'm well aware of the abbreviated name!"

          "Well if you ever have a girl, get your own back and call her Lisa!

          "Aaron, I think that is what's called playing into Nathan's hands. My kids will not be named after a cartoon family!!! Besides, I've always like d the name Margaret for a girl....."

          "There's an easy way out of this. Just tell him the child aint his! Therefore he loses all naming rights!!!! There's no way that Mr Crispy Dick managed to produce anything from that thing anyway!!!"

          "I HEARD THAT YOU LITTLE SH........."

          "NATHAN! DAVID'S HERE!!!" yelled Sharon, as the trio now moved back into the doorway as they realised Nathan had awoken.

          "Aww! Why is it as soon as Aaron's turned 15 and the language ban is lifted, your 12 year old brother spends most of his time here?"

          "Ask Esther Rantzen. I believe she has the answer you're looking for."

          "The That's Life gag exhumed once more. Sad."

          "Eh?????" asked a confused Aaron and David simultaneously.

          "Before your time kiddies!" responded Sharon.

          "Oh. Another of them moments." sighed Aaron.

          "Game of Jenga Aaron?" asked David.

          "Only if it’s followed, swiftly, by another thrashing on FIFA."

          "Sweet!" replied David as he and Aaron wandered off in the direction of Aaron's bedroom.

          "Sleep any better my beloved?" Sharon asked her partner.

          "Dunno. Do we have a cat???"

          "Do we have a cat........" repeated a despairing Sharon.

          "An averaged sized ginger one!"

          "Oh, so now you're seeing averaged sized ginger pussies in your 'visions'. Don't think I haven't seen the way you look at that ginger tart over the road!!"

          "Don't you mock me!!! I thought that you believed in all this?"

          "I do dear, I do....." said Sharon, turning her head to the side and rolling her eyes as she did so. "I'm just not really understanding the logic of the question 'Do we have a cat', when you hate and are allergic to cats."

          "OK, does anyone nearby own a ginger cat?"

          "I don't know, and I really don't care or wish to know! I'm 7 months pregnant, and don't want to be anywhere near dirty diseased felines and avoid possible infections."

          "Was only asking!!"

          "And I answered! Now get your arse out of bed. It's 2 minutes till the afternoon ya lazy bum!" Sharon said as she walked from the doorway of the bedroom into the living room, where Chris was sitting down reading the day's paper.

          "Awoken from its hibernation?!!" he asked. Sharon acknowledged with a nod of her head. "What's today’s vision of the day then?"

          "Something to do with a ginger cat. I didn't ask for more details."

          "Do you think there's anything in it? I mean it’s happened a fair bit now. He's seen summat in his sleep and next day his vision either happens, or something related to it occurs."

          "Never sees the bloody lottery numbers though does he?!! And keep ya voice down! None of you lot are supposed to know about all that, remember?!!"

          "I know, I know. You can trust me!" replied Chris, as Sharon too sat down.

          "Trust you for what?" asked Nathan as he walked into the living room area.

          "Just to keep the place in order when the Bartman arrives......"

          "Fucking Bart Simpson......" muttered Sharon.

          "So then Nathan." Chris continued. "How you feline today?!" he asked, as Sharon stifled a snigger.

          "You what??!" asked Nathan sternly.

          "I said, how are you feeling today?!!"

          "Oh, fine. You?"

          "Dunno really. Feel like I need a bit of a workout and lose a few pounds off me gut. Feel a bit tabby!!"

          "You what???" asked Nathan, growing more suspicious.

          "I said, I'm feeling a bit tubby!! You going deaf in your old age?!!"

          "But you're stick thin!!!"

          "I might be bulimic."

          "Are you?"

          "No. But even if I was I'm hardly likely to just come out and admit it like that am I?!!"

          "True."

          "Mind if I put the radio on?"

          "Knock yourself out. And when you come around you can put the radio on if you like!"

          "Cool. Feel in a bit of a mioawsical mood!!!" This time Sharon was unable to hide her laughter at Chris' quip, and burst into laughter.

          "You've told him haven't you?" Nathan asked her.

          "She's told me nothing!" lied Chris as he reached over towards the table. "Ginger biscuit?!!" he offered mockingly.

          "Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!" laughed Sharon.

          "You cow!!! Should've known you wouldn't keep your mouth shut!"

          "I would have thought you already did know that she blabbed!" Chris again mocked.

          "Do not mock my psychic powers!!!"

          "Why? It's fun!!!"

          "Because you're messing with a world that you don't understand!"

          "Well you mess with Sudoku every day and you don't understand that!!!"

          "Do too!"

          "Don't you two even think about starting!!" warned Sharon.

          "I haven't started anything. He did!" said Nathan as he pointed at Chris.

          "ME???!!!!" replied Chris in surprise.

          "I SAID!" said Sharon, raising her voice. "Don't even think about starting." she continued more calmly.

          "Guess what!" said Aaron, excitedly bursting into the living room.

          "Nathan, I believe this is your department!!!" stated Chris, struggling to contain a smirk.

          "Oh, he knows we know then?!!"

          "WHAT???!!!!!" yelled Nathan.

          "Oh shit!" mouthed Sharon.

          "What you do? Put an advert in the Birmingham Mail or summat?!!" Nathan asked Sharon.

          "Has it got anything to do with a ginger cat?!!" laughed Chris, as he tried answering Aaron's question.

          "A ginger cat????" repeated a confused Aaron.

          "Oh just tell us you're fucking news." a sulking Nathan muttered.

          "Joe's coming to stay!!!"

          "Oh, not far off a ginger cat......"

          "Joe's not ginger, neither is he a cat." Chris pointed out.

          "No but he is a c.........."

          "When's he coming?" asked Sharon, interrupting her partner.

          "Tonight."

          "Oh bloody hell!!" despaired Sharon. "This place is a bloody tip."

          "He'll feel right at home then......" muttered Nathan.

          "Chillax Shazza!" Aaron responded reassuringly.

          "Chillax Shazza???" Nathan repeated, bemused by Aaron's choice of words.

          "Leave everything to me. I'll sort it!" Aaron continued.

          "Oh Christ....." Nathan despaired, yet again.

          "How long's he staying for?" asked Chris.

          "Didn't say."

          "Never mind a pub, we should turn this place into a b+b. Certainly a revolving door when he's about."

          "That's one of your best mates that you're talking about. And incase you forgot we do look after his little brother you know! He's entitled to come and stay as he pleases." Sharon pointed out.

          "Yeah, one day he might take that extra bit of luggage back with him too......" said Nathan, unaware Aaron was creeping up behind him, preparing to strike. "OWWWWWWWWW!!!!!" screamed Nathan, rubbing his head hard. "Da fuck was that?"

          "Argos book!"

          "FUCKING ARGOS BOOK??!!!!! Do you wanna hit me in the head with summat a bit heavier next time? Always was a dream of mine to get Alzheimer’s before I hit 30!" he said, still rubbing his head hard.

          "Aaron, you're 15 years old now. You should know by now that it's wrong to hit people in the head with 1500 page catalogue books!" said Chris.

          "Yeah." agreed Sharon. "Just punch him like the rest of us do!!!"

          "Oh, cool!!!!!" chirped Aaron, as he took no hesitation in punching Nathan in his right shoulder.

          "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

          "That's for inferring my brother is a ginger coconut!!!"

          "Oh the gloves are off now." muttered Nathan, now rubbing both his head and his shoulder.

          "Don't worry about anything Sharon. Me and Dave will tidy up. You keep your feet up. Oh, and thanks for the advice!" he said, rubbing his fist as he left the room.

          "Now look what you've started. Domestic violence!!!!" moaned Nathan, still rubbing his new found bump and bruise.

          "I'll have a coffee I think, Nathan!" a rather unconcerned Sharon requested.

          "Me too" said Chris. "Two lumps!!!" he laughed.

          "Oh and while you're at it, leave a saucer of milk out. Maybe that ginger cat will show up!!!!" Sharon quipped, as both she and Chris burst into laughter.

          "Bastards." said Nathan, as he got up to go into the kitchen.

          "He's lovely when he's in a sulk aint he?!!" declared Sharon as Nathan moved out of earshot.

          "Come back and tell me that when you've known him 20 years like I have!!"



SEVERAL HOURS LATER



          "Fancy having a 7 month pregnant woman pick him up." He'll have her carrying his bags up the stairs next...."

          "Don't be daft. Killed two birds with one stone didn't it? Taking David home on the way."

          "Taking David home? He only lives over the bloody road! Besides, what's the bloody point in Joe passing his driving test if he don't own a car. Pointless. Bloody pointless!"

          "OK, what the sodding hell has got into you? Ever since Aaron told us that Joe was coming to stay you've been like an Albion fan sewn into a Wolves shirt!"

          "That's because Christopher, ever since that moment, Aaron has insisted that he himself tidy up and prepare the place for imminent arrival of big brother. He's even in his room right now, moving furniture, by himself, making room. Combined with the fact that Aaron was the one that got the message that Joe was coming to stay, and not the people that pay the bills here, leads me to the conclusion that something is up."

          "Such as?"

          "Well I dunno do I!!!"

          "Oh so you've put everything together and come up with nothing."

          "Do I look like a PCSO?!!"

          "Nope. More like a bear's anus!" Nathan glared at Chris for a few minutes in disgust following his insult, before responding.

          "Childish!"

          "Funny though! You could always ask Aaron what's up you know."

          "What would be the fun in that?!! I would have nothing to occupy my mind then!"

          "Oh yeah. Silly me....." said Chris, rolling his eyes as he did so. Chris and Nathan then both proceeded to take a sip of their coffee's, followed by a few more seconds of prolonged silence. Chrs then looked thoughtful, and began to speak. "Do you remember that conversation we had about 10 years ago?" Rather than answer, Nathan again stared at Chris for a few moments.

          "Chris, our conversations leave such an impact on my life, that I struggle to remember what we were talking about 10 minutes ago." he eventually contributed.

          "It were pork scratchings 10 minutes ago!"

          "I know. I remember!"

          "You just said you str..."

          "Just get to your bloody point!!!" snapped an irritated Nathan.

          "OK, I'll remind you."

          "Oh goody......"

          "We were sat in your bedroom, having a drink, wondering if we'd grow old together, sitting down with a mug of cocoa in our slippers into our 60's."

          "Can't help but think a significant portion of my childhood was wasted....." Nathan muttered sarcastically.

          "And here we are, 10 years later, in our mid 20's doing just that!"

          "Firstly, this, is a coffee." said Nathan as he held his mug in the air. "Secondly, you know I never wear slippers. And thirdly, you're my lodger!"

          "Bit harsh!"

          "I'm a family man. I'm a father to a 7 month old unborn foetus!!"

          "Fucking Bart Simpson........."

          "And you're living under my roof. So how was my comment harsh?"

          "I'd argue it's Sharon's roof."

          "What's hers is mine."

          "And what's yours is hers?"

          "I wouldn't go that far!!!"

          "OHHHHH!!!!!! Wait till I tell Shazza that one!!!!" declared a gleeful Aaron, who unbeknownst to Nathan had re-entered the living room. Nathan slowly turned his head to face his smiling, smirking tormentor.

          "How much exactly is this going to cost me?!!"

          "Hmmm!" said Aaron, as he pulled out is Blackberry, and started mockingly pushing its buttons. "The rate of inflation for silence against the pound has significantly increased in the last few seconds according to my data. My rates show a fee of £20 a week for the next 10 would suffice!!!!"

          "WHAT??????!!!!!!!!!!!" That don't even qualify as steep! That's fucking vertical!!!!!"

          "HEY GUYS, WE'RE BACK!!!" shouted Sharon from the bottom of the stairs.

          "£20 for the next 10 weeks or a vasectomy without anaesthetic awaits!!!!"

          Nathan's bottom lip quivered as he contemplated his dilemna. "Deal." he answered begrudgingly.

          "Oh you're such a sap!!!!" laughed Chris.

          "Well what would you do?!!"

          "I wouldn't say stupid things in front of people that know how to blackmail!!"

          "Hey guys!" said Joe, as he entered the living room, placing his bags on the floor. "Hey you!!" he said as he moved to hug his brother. Aaron took a step back to prevent him.

          "Safe bro!" responded Aaron.

          "How much sodding stuff you brought with you???" asked Nathan. "Looks like you're staying for good." Joe looked towards his younger brother.

          "Haven't you told him yet???" Joe asked.

          "I was waiting for the right moment!"

          "A-HA!!!" proclaimed Nathan.

          "#Take onnnn meeeee!#" sang Chris.

          "I knew something was afoot. Nothing gets past me!!"

          "Apart from £200?" Aaro muttered under his breath, as Nathan glared nervously at him.

          "Nathan, Joe's back for good." Sharon informed.

          "He's what??" asked a wide eyed Nathan.

          "I'm back for good!" said Joe.

          Nathan looked at Chris. Chris nodded at him then spoke. "Take that!"

          "Would you quit it with the crappy band - song lyrics puns!" he said. "What's happened to London?" he asked, as he turned his attentions back to Joe.

          "Nothing. Well, it was still there when I left it anyway!"

          "No, I mean tell me why....."

          "Backstreet Boys!!!!" proclaimed Chris.

          "FUCK OFF!!!!!  Nathan yelled. "Besides, that wasn't the song title! It was I Want It That Way!!!!"

          "I KNEW IT!!!!" Aaron declared. "I knew you were gay!!!!"

          "It was popular amongst the girls at school!" Nathan insisted.

          "I don't remember that!" said Chris.

          "Besides what do you call this?" asked Nathan, pointing at Sharon's baby bump. "How could I create that if I was gay?!!"

          "Turkey baster??!!!" suggested Chris.

          “There are things called paternity tests that can be done to remove doubt too! I know. I watch Jeremy Kyle!!!”

          “One day I can’t help but think you’ll be on it!” snapped Nathan. “Besides, are you calling my wife a slapper? Shagging around with other men???”

          “To be fair, anyone would understand if she did!!” smirked Joe.

          “Do you want a roof over your head?!!”

          “I’m just saying!!”

          “You’re staying rather quiet throughout all of this.” said Nathan, moving his attentions towards Sharon.

          “Well dear.” she started, pausing for thought for a moment or two. “They do have a point!”

          “Oh! Thanks for the vote of confidence!”

          “I said they would have a point. Not that they do!”

          “I would never cheat on you.”

          “Only because you would find anyone dumb enough to cheat on her with!!!” quipped Aaron.

          “I swear to God, you’re going out the window soon!!!” threatened Nathan.

          “I know you wouldn’t cheat dear, I wouldn’t do that to you either. But in fairness, if anyone could drive his woman into the arms of another man, it’s you!!”

          “Yeah, and we remember those driving lessons you had a while back!” joked Joe.

          “Maybe now he’s back for good, lightning will strike twice and Joe will steal a kiss off of one of our women…..” added Chris cheekily.

          “Always comes back to that doesn’t it? How many times do I have to apologise for the same thing?”

          “I could be married…….” Chris paused as he looked at Nathan and Sharon. “Well, kind of married, and have a kid on the way by now.” He continued, on the wind up.

          “Just out of interest Chris, what was her name?”

          “Huh?!!”

          “The girl who you went out with, who, may I add, you caught kissing me. What was her name?”

          “Erm…….. Doesn’t really matter now does it?!!”

          “Exactly!!!” smiled Joe.

          “It was Charlotte!!!” Aaron pointed out.

          “Thanks for that bro, really helpful….” A sarcastic Joe added.

          “Pleasure. Happy to help!”

          “Is there any chance we can rewind a moment or two and get back to why you’re back for good?” said Nathan as he immediately turned and pointed towards Chris. “And if you even dare say Take bloody That again, or even sing the aforementioned song title I swear I’ll…..” Chris simply held up his hands as a sign of innocence.

          “Simples!”  Joe answered. “I missed home too much.”

          “What? This dump??!!!”

          “It might be a dump, but to me it’s home, sweet home!”

          “I get the feeling that this was one of your spur of the moment decisions.”

          “Yup.”

          “So you just decide to quit a fairly decent job as coach of Brentford under 14’s, to move back here, where there is quite literally sweet F.A. waiting for you?”

          “Yup.”

          “Why?”

          “I’ll explain. It was a youth cup game against Sunderland. We were getting stuffed 3-0, and then this ginger kid literally waltzed through my entire team, and ended up blasting the ball into the back of the net. You probably wouldn’t understand, but it was just demoralising to see that happen. It made me question why I was doing the job. Then I started thinking about this one….” Joe said as he rubbed the back of his little brother’s head. “…..and how much I missed him.”

          “You should have let us know.” interrupted Nathan. “We’d have quite happily shipped him down to you!!” As a result of this comment, Aaron raised his fist towards the direction of Nathan, the actions of which immediately made him back down, wiping the smile off his face.

          “And I guessed I missed all you guys too!” continued Joe. “I just knew that I had to come back, and that’s what I had to do. One of my mottos, if it feels right, do it. And this just feels right. Management understood my decision, and here I am!”

          “So what’s next?” asked Chris, as he picked up the evening paper and began to read it.

          “Well, if I can find another job in football I’ll take it.”

          “Funnily enough,” said Chris, from behind his newspaper. “….there’s an advert in here for a manager’s job with a youth team in Solihull, the Solihull minors.”

          “Solihull minors???” asked Nathan. “Are they like the Chilean miners, only instead of being stuck 700m under ground, they’re simply stuck in Solihull and can’t get out?!!”

          “Pathetic.” groaned Aaron.

          “It’s true!” Nathan defended. “I went to Solihull once and it was closed! Then I struggled to make my way out!”

          “Yet unfortunately for all of us you did!” Sharon remarked.

          “My boss is more than happy to provide me a reference, or help put my foot in the door should any vacancies come about.” Joe continued. “But in the mean time, if I’m living under your roof, then obviously I’m gonna need to pay my way. So I was wondering if I could possibly take a leaf out of Chris’ book and take a few hours and shifts downstairs.”

          “What? In the pub?” asked Nathan.

          “No. In the basement as a rent boy!!!” answered a rather sarcastic Joe. “Of course in the pub you twat!!!”

          “And who, may I ask, are we supposed to sack to make way for you? There are laws and guidelines regarding termination of contracts, you know. We can’t just sack someone to make way for any Tom, Dick or Harry.”

          “My name’s Joe!”

          “I know that you moron!”

          “Who’s Tom, Dick or Harry?!!!” asked Aaron.

          “Oh shut your face, you!!!”

          “Hello! Aren’t you forgetting someone?” asked Sharon.

          “I’d never forget you, light of my life!” said Nathan, creeping.

          “Not me! Little Bartholomew in here!” she responded, pointing to her baby bump.

          “Fucking Bart Simpson….” despaired Joe.

          “What about him?” asked Nathan.

          “In case you’d forgotten, he’ll be making an appearance within the next two months. During and after which I will actually need to take time off. Considerable time off, for that matter. Therefore, I would like to point out, we actually do need another pair of hands behind the bar.”

          “But you manage and run the place dear. And Joe has no experience behind the bar, only in front of it!”

          “I know. But Chris does!”

          “Chris does what???”

          “Chris has experience. He can run the pub!”

          “Chris???!!! Run a pub?!!! I don’t think so!!!”

          “And why not?”

          “Because he doesn’t know the first thing about running a pub!!”

          “He’s got plenty of experience behind a bar, and I get the feeling he’s already picked up a load of stuff about running it just from watching us……well, me! And if he does struggle with certain things, we’re only going to be up here, all he has to do is ask us.”

          “It’s asking for trouble if you want my opinion.”

          “Well I don’t!!”

          “Now might be a good time to remind you that I am actually still in the room, you know!!” said Chris, peering over his newspaper.

          “I think you’ll find it’s my name above the door and I’ll employ and put in charge who I damn well please! Congratulations Joe, you’ve got the job. Congratulations Chris, you’ve just been promoted to acting manager!”

          “Wicked!” celebrated Joe. “Wish all job interviews were that easy!!!”

          “Me too!” added Chris. “I’ve just got a job as a manager, and I didn’t even apply for it!!!”

          “Oh well.” said Nathan. “If we’re promoting you, I guess we’ll be paying you more, and if we’re paying you more, I guess that means you can pay us more rent!!!”

          “Aaron.” called Sharon. “Do the honours!”

          “Ah, sweet!” replied Aaron, as he took a few steps forward and promptly gave Nathan a solid punch to his upper arm.

          “OWWWWWW!!!!!!” cried Nathan.

          “Man I love living here!” proclaimed Aaron. “You actually get encouraged to hit people!!!”

          “What about space?” Nathan asked, rubbing his arm heavily for the second time today, whilst mouthing obscenities under his breath.

          “Me and Joe will share!”

          “So the only person living in this place that will have his own room is Chris?!!”

          “It would appear so. Your point?” asked Chris.

          “No point.”

          “Why change the habit of a lifetime….”

          “Right.” Said Joe. “If it’s OK with everyone I’m gonna go and unpack and settle in.”

          “WAIT!!!!” yelled Nathan, rather excitedly.

          “Or maybe I won’t…..”

          “Which team beat you in that youth cup game?”

          “Sunderland. Why?”

          “Sunderland’s nickname?”

          “The Black Cats. Why???”

          “And who scored that killer goal that you told us about?”

          “Oh I don’t know his name. I didn’t hang around to ask.”

          “No. You used a word to describe him earlier. What was it?”

          “Oh you mean ginge? Ginger?”

          “BINGO!!!” shouted Nathan, holding his hands out to his side as though he had made some kind of important revelation.

          “What????” asked a confused Chris.

          “A ginger, black cat!! Just like I saw!!!!!”

          “That, is the most tedious and ridiculous link yet!!” said Sharon in response.

          “You said ginger, nothing about it being black and ginger!” Chris added.

          “Well it’s not like I thoroughly picked it up and examined it. I guess it only had a patch of black!”

          “You’re making this up as you go!!!”

          “I call bullshit!!!” Aaron added.

          “Is there, or is there not, a link between what I saw, and what happened?!!”

          “Oh!!! Am I caught up in one of his premonitions or something?!!” asked Joe.

          “What?!! You know too?” asked an annoyed Nathan. “But you were living in London.”

          “Oh Nathan, everyone knows!!!” admitted Sharon.

          “And when we mean everyone, we mean everyone!” Chris added. “Haven’t you noticed everyone sniggering in the bar whenever someone asks you ‘what’s happening’ everytime you make an appearance down there?!!” For Nathan, the penny had finally dropped.

          “You bastards!!” he declared.

          “My Dad’s dead, therefore I don’t have a Dad, I take offence to that insult!!!” said Joe.

          “Me too!” added Aaron.

          “Feeling your pain bro!”

          “You’re all just jealous because I have a gift!!!”

          “No. We actually pity you, because you’re a freak!!” declared Aaron.

          “You’ll see! One day you’ll all see, and then you’ll take me seriously!!” claimed Nathan. The combination of Aaron, Chris, Joe and Sharon all looked at each other in silence for a few moments, before responding as one to Nathan’s claim.

          “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!”

          “Good one!” Aaron added. Nathan’s head simply dropped.

          “I need a piss! Goin’ bog!!!” said Chris, as he put down his newspaper, got out of his chair and left the room.

          “I’ll go and find some clean bed sheets.” said Sharon, as she followed suit.

          “I’m going in my room to sulk!!” declared a downbeat Nathan, as he also left the room, leaving just Aaron and Joe in the living room. Joe checked to see if everyone was out of earshot.

          “Think they believed it?” he asked.

          “Didn’t ask any questions did they?”

          “They must never know! If Nathan ever found out I had the sack, I’ll never hear the end of it!”

          “Your secret is safe with me, as long as you stick to your end of the bargain.”

          “Yeah, yeah. £20 a week for 10 weeks!!! You drive hard bargain!!”

          “Profitable bargain though!!” said Aaron, as he smiled to himself. “It’s good to have you back bro!”

          “It’s good to be back. Too old for a brotherly hug?” Joe asked, as he held his arms out wide.

          “Yeah!” said Aaron coldly, as he too now left the room.

          “My little bro has grown up!” Joe said to himself. “Some things do change.” he smiled.

          “AARON!!! FUCK OFF YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!!!!!!” yelled Nathan from his bedroom.

          “Maybe not!!” said Joe, correcting himself, as he picked up his bags and walked towards his and Aaron’s room to unpack his belongings.