Memories

I started to shovel out a big drift of memories
That remained in a shadowed corner of my room-
Grime covered
Like old snow in winter.
Full of hidden pebbles of the past,
Treasures dropped and lost so long ago.
Though tattered and torn,
I hesitate to crumple them up
and throw them away.

Digging here is like picking at an old scab-
It still brings blood;
It hurts.

I grit my teeth.
It is time to clear them out.
They represent a yesterday
That is gone.
Emotional muscles groan;
I feel the ache
As I lift the load
And drop them in the bag.
They whisper as I shove them
Deep amidst the garbage.

It isn’t so easy
To erase the past.
Though I watch the trash truck
Haul them away,
And I turn away
At last to now.

But this now is filled
With empty holes
I cannot throw away,
Full of ghostly afterimages
I cannot escape-
Relentless presence
Of yesterday,
Translucent sheen
Coloring today.

Most often
Memory stings my cheeks
In biting bits of ice
That make me squint,
Obscuring now;
My feet slip on
Slick sheets of regret.

Yet would I banish them entirely
If I could?
For sometimes they
Float softly,
Kissing my cheeks,
Snowflakes in the darkness,
Softening my world
In a comforter blanketing
T he grit of now;
Warming me
And I smile.