Rise and Fall of my Drug Run

    I honestly couldn’t tell you what I had been doing May 4th 2010, but I can tell you what I was feeling. I hated school, I was unsatisfied with the people I went to school with, my parents were nothing to rave about and I was bored. Bored with life. I would go home everyday after school and sit on Facebook for hours.

    If you’re wondering, I wasn’t a loser per say. I wasn’t weird or an outcast. I was kind of just there. Until a few weeks before this incident, I had been friends with a group of people who didn’t really go to my school. Lizzie, Greta, Alana, and Chessie. I really enjoyed them. We became little freshman potheads together. Not really potheads but we would smoke a few times a week. And they were funny, and we did shit. And I liked to do shit. Adventure type shit? Anyway, there was this party.



***

    My mom dropped us off. Linna, Jackie and I just came back from getting our eyebrows done and getting ready at my house. I went in to say hi to Maya who was throwing the party. I asked her where I could smoke. She said outside behind the bushes, so I went outside and smoked a bowl to the face. I felt like a hobbit listening to the people partying, hiding behind the bushes as people came in. When the bowl was kicked I went inside, found the alcohol, drank the alcohol, got crunk. Something you’ll understand more fully later is I’m a ridiculous lightweight. Then the sophomores arrived. They thought they were the shit cause they were “crashing?” the party. They walked in and Camille Carpraro smiled at me. I said a drunken yo and she hugged me. I didn’t really know who she was. She was in my gym class and she was friends with Lizzie cause of swim. I was too drunk to care so I went about my night. I made a few best friends. And then shit got weird. Alana and I were sitting at the kitchen table, and in my inebriated state of mind, I started to have a heart to heart. I told her Lizzie had been treating her like shit, and that she deserved better cause she was the nicest person I knew. I wasn’t trying to end their friendship, I just wanted to give her the heads up on how I felt. She said thanks, and then I went about my night. A few minutes later, Lizzie approached me. In all honesty, I don’t remember what happened, but the next morning Lizzie wasn’t my friend. To this day we haven’t acknowledged each other. Alana, Chessie and Greta were friends with her before me, so I was left pretty friendless.



***



    Perhaps that’s why I was so reluctant to walk over to a random group of kids when I was on my way home.

    The feelings were racing through my body, Sleepyhead by Passion Pit was playing on my ipod. I was feeling confused. So fucking confused about everything. I had nothing to be upset about, but nothing to be happy about, so I was confused as to what to feel. Then a group of kids started hollering at me. One doesn’t usually just walk over to a large group of kids asking you to come over, so I kept on walking. I was almost past them when one of them called out “I’m gay! I won’t rape you!” I figured these were the type of people I might affiliate myself with, and so I walked over. There was smoke coming from some of their mouths, so I was even more excited to meet them. I had been smoking weed pretty frequently, maybe twice a week. Not many of my friends did. I would always get into quarrels with them about how weed wasn’t bad for you, they’d always have some bullshit to say that I wasn’t prepared to rebuttal. Later in life they found out I was right.

    I arrived in front of them. In front of me was a black girl and a blonde boy. On the grass next to me was a boy sitting next to a bicycle. On the far right of the boy and girl were three boys I found pretty sexy. To the left of the boy and girl were some miscellaneous people I can’t really recall. A boy with the same hair color as me at the type, orange, walked up behind me.

    “What’re you listening to?”

    “Sleepyhead...by passion pit?”

    “That’s a good song.” I was happy about their approval.

    “What’s your name?”

    “Val, Valerie,” people never understand what I’m saying when I introduce myself as Val.

    “Im Kaille, this is Julian, Micah, Nate, Ian, Ryan, Audrey, Erik...” The list went on and she had lost me at the first name. They all smiled and waved and I smiled back.

    “Do you smoke?”

    “Weed?”

    “Well yeah, and cigarettes”

    “Nah, I don’t smoke cigarettes. I do smoke weed.”

    “Do you have a bowl?”

I was ecstatic to be able to respond yes, but it was at home. They asked if I could go get it, and I was a little reluctant to say yes, but I decided they seemed like nice people so I rushed in and out of the house and returned, bowl and all.

    We got in a circle and sat down. We conversed like normal people do when you first meet, and we passed around a bowl. They were all lighting up cigarettes. I also couldn’t understand half the things they were saying. They were referring to things I would only a few months later understand. They were saying things like chafe, piece, stogue, cherried, kicked... I was baffled. Around 4 o’clock I figured it was weird if I still chilled so I bid them adieu and went home.

    I almost instantly passed out on my bed with a smile on my face. Right before I slipped away I thought to myself, “These are the people I’ve been looking for.”



    I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face. I got dressed for school. I went to school. The whole day I was thinking about the people I met. Would they be there today? Would they ask me to come over? Sixth period came and I practically ran to the bus stop. Someone asked me to chill and I said I had to go home. I chose the possibility that I would hang out with these new kids over hanging out with the girls from school.

    I got off the bus and made my way home. When the field was approaching I turned down my music so I would be able to hear if they were calling me. I was almost around the corner where I would see if they were there or not, my heart was beating a little louder and then around the corner I went. They were there, sitting in a circle. There were some people I didn’t recognize. I walked by like I didn’t notice them and then they called me. Needless to say I was ecstatic and I walked over. It was Cinco de Mayo. I sat down and they introduced me to the new people. There was a girl with blonde shaggy hair. I didn’t notice until later that half of her head was shaved. There was a straight up hippie sitting next to her, he had short dreads. Their names were Zach and June. There was a sexy boy that looked like a bro who’s name was Mac. Kaille, Julian, Ian and Ryan were there.

    “What’s up?”

    “Not much”

    They broke into conversation about getting beer. It was 3 pm. I was pretty enthralled. The boy with dreads left to get some and before he left Kaille called out “Make it something mexican! It’s Cinco de Mayo!” Then they broke into conversation about various liquors that are Mexican, and I was just flustered. Everyone broke into conversation and I was slightly awkwardly sitting there, I felt like I was imposing.

    “Let’s give you the down low on everyone.” Everyone’s attention diverted. Kaille started with June.

    “That’s June. She’s a dirty hippie like Zach. Are you guys going out, what’s going on with that?”

    “I don’t know dude... He likes me I think and I guess I like him so I think we’re just... I don’t know dude.” And then giggled a high pitch giggle that sounded like a little girls laugh. It wasn’t unflattering. She had a really soft high voice.

    “That’s Julian. He’s gay. He’s a crazy artist and a good singer. We jam a lot.” I didn’t expect this. He didn’t appear too gay. Then I noticed his rosy cheeks, wavy blonde hair, scarf and laugh and it made some sense. He had just become my favorite kind of gay. There are those flamboyant gays, and there are manly one, and then there’s Julian. He was just the right amount of gay. You could tell but it wasn’t all up in your face. If you think that’s offensive, don’t, because at this point more of my friends are gay than straight.

    “That’s Ian and Ryan,” then Kaille leaned in and whispered, “we’re pretty sure they’re gay for each other.” I laughed. They looked more normal than the rest, and they were both pretty sexy.

    “That’s Micah. He’s like the good guy.” Micah looked like the good guy. He had glasses, he was wearing a brown T-shirt, jeans and construction worker boots.

    “And I’m Kaille.”

    “She’s a banging singer,” threw in Julian. Kaille wasn’t wearing a bra. She had short hair and was wearing knee length shorts. It was pretty obvious she was gay, but I wasn’t one hundred percent sure.

    Zach then arrived with a package.

    “Corona!”

    Everyone dug in. Julian offered me one, and I said I guess. It was only 3:30 and I had never really had a beer. I took a few sips. It tasted gross to me. They were drinking it like soda. A few bowls went around, with my bowl. Twenty or so minutes passed and I started to become invisible, and I had nothing to say as they were speaking gibberish. So I said I had to go, stood up and went home. Once again I passed out almost instantly, with a smile on my face, and the same thoughts running through my head.

   

    This would happen again for the next week or two. Everyday I would hop off the bus from school and go hang out with them. Some days they weren’t there, and I would be pretty bummed, but the next day they would be there and it was O.K. We were soon more than acquaintances, we had exchanged phone numbers, I met more and more people, they added me on facebook, and they started hitting me up. Shit was so good.