King Of Procrastination

A woman spilled soda at work today
I'm the busboy, and she knocked over my cup
But I was on break, so I looked away
And let a random homeless guy lick it up

My dog had a "present" on the floor for me
When I got back from work
But I wasn't feeling christmas-y
So I listened to music and did the "Jerk"

The grass outside is growing gnarly
I should cut it, it's as tall as Shaq
But I'd rather stay in and watch iCarly
Because cutting grass is whack

My-10 page essay's due tomorrow
And I haven't written a word
But there's an essay I can borrow
From a guy I know named Turd

I love procrastinating, as you can see
I'm the laziest guy, hands down
I'm king of procrastination, no one compares to me
So go and GIMME MAH CROWN.