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by Martha Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Chapter · Comedy · #1791088
Slap-stick comedy story about 4 boys in a band. Who REALLY need a therapist
James and Carlos were lying down in the middle of Kendall's living room. Carlos was holding a glass of hot water. James was trying to make himself blind by staring at the lights on the ceiling. Logan walks in and screams. There is NO furniture. Except the sofa, TV, table and everything else. "GUYS! WHERE'S THE FURNITURE?!" He screams histerically. This had been happening every day at exactly 3:15 since the time he had tryed to run with scissors. There's a reason you're told not to do that, you know. One time he was in the middle of recording a new song. "When was the last time you- OH MY GOSH! THE MICROPHONE DISSAPEARED!" He looked around frantically, and, in despiraton, he attacked Carlos. James slowly, lazily moves his eys away from the lights.

"Hey Carlos.... Shouldn't you be running right now?" James says, silently cursing himself for turning his eyes away. Carlos glances at Logan (who is now attempting to draw fruniture on the walls with a imaginary marker). He shrugs his shoulders.

"Maybe he won't attack this time." Carlos says hopefully. James shakes his head, in frusteration.

It's obvious Logan is going to attack. And Carlos has no way of escaping. Except the window. He should escape that way...hmmm....

Logan stops trying to create furniture (He's now realized only G-d can make furniture...duh!) He turns to glare at Carlos. "You! YOU DID THIS!" Logan is now stalking forward, his eyes trained on Carlos. Carlos backs up, uncertain of how to react.

"Go for the window!" James shouts.

Carlos decides to take James's advice and backs up slowly for the window. And right as he hits the glass and falls backward, Logan trips over some furniture. "Hey guys! The furniture came back! Guys? Where's Carlos?"

"He jumpewd out of a window and fell 3 stories to get away from you," James says, smiling, as he bangs his head up against the floor. Why couldn't he become blind? He wanted to have a seeing eye dog. Just like Elvis.

"Harsh..." Logan says, his shoulders slouching in dejection. How could Carlos hate him so much? He'd rather die than be near him. Logan had no idea he was so hated.

"Hey Logan. Wanna go grab some grub?" James began to laugh histarically. "Grab...Grub...Get it? The only difference is ONE LETETER. A and U! HAHAHA! I'm just so funny sometimes."

Logan ignores him as he stews over Carlos's hatred.

"Great! Lets go! James grabs Logans arm and they walk arm in arm to the elevator. People begin to stare. James glares at them. "IM NOT GAY! I SWEAR IT! I'M NOT GAY! HE'S ONLY MY FRIEND! I PROMISE! PLEASE! DON'T TELL ANY HOT GIRLS WHAT YOU SAW HERE! I STILL WANNA DATE!" He glares at Logan. I'M NOT GAY! HE'S THE GAY ONE! NOT ME! HE JUST LATCHED ONTO ME! I SWEAR. WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE MEEEE???! He falls to the ground and begins to cry. Kendall, who had watched this entire embarassing scene unfold, walked over to James and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Dude...I hate to tell you this but...They weren't staring because of your linked arms. You had a piece of toilet paper stuck to your shoe."

James's face turns a bright red.  "...had...toilet paper stuck to my.....shoe?" The last word comes out as a squeek. Kendall nods his head. "That's....that's....that's...SO EMBARASSING. I had TOILET PAPER stuck to my SHOE! THAT ONLY HAPPENS IN MOVIES! NOT IN REAL LIFE! I'M DEAD! DEAD TO THE WORLD!"

A fan timidly walks up to Logan and James. "H-hi...M-my name i-is S-Suzan." Kendall walks away. James glares down at the fan. "Why are you stuttering?"

"I-I can't h-help it. I-I h-have a sp-speech d-d-disorder."

"Ha! Yeah right! You just want attention from the amazing JAMES MASLOW."

"A-actually..I j-just came t-to m-meet Logan and a-assure him th-that I don't b-believe h-he's g-g-gay..."

"Him? He's dead. You should talk to ME instead."

"B-but I c-can see h-his ch-chest m-moving..."

James looks down at Logan, smiles sweetly at the girl and smashes a microwae on Logan's head. He dies. And blood splatters the fan girls new dress.

"Y-You'll p-pay f-for th-th-thi-this!"

"Now you can worship me instead. :)"

So you see. Carlos was dead because of Logan. Logan was dead because of James. And Big Time Rush lost a fan. And Kendall had to fix it all. He revived Logan and Carlos and gave the girl backstage passes to their next concert. He also made James apologise to her for ruining her dress. She didn't mind though. She sold Logan's blood on ebay. You wouldn't BELIEVE how much crazed fans would pay for Logan Henderson blood.
© Copyright 2011 Martha (kendalluvrr at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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