untitled

walking alone through the cold dark night,
I find myself searching.
searching for any sign of the person i used to be.
searching for the creature that
i know once lived deep within me.
for the person i want to be,
need to be.
only finding instead
the hollow shell left behind when
i decided to run away from myself.
watching for any part of my soul,
the most personal part of myself
that I gave up so long ago.
will i recognize myself?
will i recognize me?
where is the crying babe of yesteryear?
where is the timid child of long ago?
not quite a woman, yet no longer a child.
no mother's apron to hide behind.
so i bury myself far beneath the layers of pain,
the blankets of bitterness,
the sheets of sadness...
hoping to one day,
awaken to a happier life.