The Dilemma or (what would you do)?

The Dilemma
or
what would you do?



As usual, I was sitting in my red, Chevy, Tracker, reading the newspaper in the glow of the overhead ceiling light, with heat blasting, waiting for my husband to arrive from work on the NJ Transit Train, when a teenaged girl pounded on the window. Startled, I sat staring at a chubby teenager with a curly afro, dressed in a dark, hooded sweatshirt, worn jeans and sneakers. Suddenly aware of the fact that I was the only one left in the desolate parking lot and that I had left my cell phone home on the kitchen table. I didn't know what to do. "Lady", she shouted, "I just came from The Mental Health Clinic and I need fifty more cents to get home. Will you please lend it to me, please", she asked, as she stamped her feet from side to side and blew on her ungloved hands in an attempt to keep warm, while she waited for me to respond. She seemed uncoordinated and clumsy. She's either mentally challenged or high, I thought, as I lowered the window just enough to ask her to "give me a minute", while I rummaged through my bag for change. "I must be nuts", I thought, retrieving two quarters from the bottom of my purse. I squeezed my hand through the slightly lowered window, gave her the change and told her to " go straight home and not to dare buy booze or drugs with my money"! Oh, no, lady, I have to get home to my baby"! she said. "Thank you very much. I'll pay you back on the first of the month"! "Sure you will", I thought, as I watched her shuffle spastically towards the train tracks, clutching the coins in her hand.

Since I wasn't sure if the girl was handicapped or high and I felt like a sucker, I decided not to share this incident with anyone.

One week later, I was sitting at the same train station, reading the local news in the glow of the overhead car light, with heat blasting, when the same girl, wearing the same dark hooded sweatshirt and jeans knocked on my window, scaring the crap out of me! Once again, I asked her what she wanted, through the closed window. I a "Lady, she yelled, I just came from The Mental Health Clinic and I need fifty-cents more to catch the next train home. Will you lend it to me until the first of the month? I have to get home to my baby". "She must think that I'm an idiot", I thought, as she shivered and I dug through my purse for change"! Retrieving two quarters, I opened the window just enough to hand her the money and gave her the same maternal instructions. "Oh, no, lady, I have to get home to the baby"! she said. "I'll pay you back on the first of the month, when I get my check".

As I watched her board the train, I tried to figure out why I kept giving this strange kid with the shining, black afro money and considered checking myself into The Mental Health Clinic for a tune-up!

The following week, right on schedule, I was sitting in the car, reading the paper with the heat blasting and wind shield wipers speeding back and forth, struggling to keep up with the monsoon rain, actually waiting for my new found "friend" to knock on the window! Frantically, I squinted through the pouring rain and into the dark, visually scanning the area until I finally saw her standing by the railroad tracks, in the driving rain, getting soaked to the skin. Immediately, I beeped the horn to get her attention, rolled the window down and hand signaled her to come over to my car!

Even though I believed that she was harmless, I was still afraid to let her sit in my car, so I rolled down the window, handed her my Samsonite umbrella and told her to return it the following week. "Thank you, lady, she said. "I'll bring it back to you next Wednesday" she said, as she ran through the wind and rain, struggling to hold onto my red umbrella, back to the tracks to wait for the train.

Two weeks passed and "my mentally challenged/con-artist" friend was no where to be found and I was worried about her and her baby! (If there really was a baby). Once again, I wondered why I cared so much about someone that I didn't even know and decided that I, too, must be a little bit "off"!

Finally, on the fourth Wednesday of the month, I saw my spastic, little friend with the waiting for me in the parking lot. I was thrilled! Now, convinced that she was harmless, I stopped the car, rolled the window down and asked her where she had been, like it was my business. "Oh, lady", she said. I was sick and then the baby got sick, so I couldn't go to the clinic. I'm sorry that I forgot to bring your umbrella, but if you'll lend me fifty-cents for the train and fifty-cents to buy my baby a doughnut in the bakery across the street, I'll return your money and umbrella next Week, when I get my check".

I couldn't believe that she was asking me for money again, yet for some strange reason, I pulled a dollar from my wallet and told her that I would see her the following week, to collect my umbrella and money!

The following week, I sat in the car, reading the paper, blasting the heat and cursing at myself for being such a sucker when I heard the familiar knock on the window. As usual, I looked through the window and there she was, waving my red umbrella in the air and shouting that she had my money! Now, surprised and Impressed by her integrity, I opened the window wide and she handed me the money that she owed me and my Red umbrella! Then she stepped away from the car and looked down at a chubby little toddler, wearing a dark hooded sweatshirt and jeans that she held by the hand and said: "Honey, thank the nice lady for the doughnut"!

Ten years have passed since I was faced with this "Dilemma". I'll never know why I decided to help this girl on four separate occasions, especially since I felt like I was being conned, but I'm glad that I did! I can't pass a train station or a Dunkin Doughnuts without remembering this "Dilemma".

Thanks to this simple girl, I learned to trust my "gut feelings", to be thankful for all of my blessings (large and small) and to always keep change an Umbrella in the car!