Childs Emotions

As a child I have so many feelings dying inside of me just because I did not have my parents with me. I used to live somewhere with my grandparents and my dad was working somewhere abroad with my mom. I was'nt the only child of my parents but the youngest. So I guess I felt too much. I never wished to have a toy or a barbie, I just wished to have my parents with me. I wished somebody just adopt me and love me as much I wished for. Though It was'nt possible because my dad was working there for quite sometime and he can't leave his work just for me and starve the whole family to death. Thus as a child my emotions were not so clear as a mirror but I have hidden it inside me and I never want somebody to know me as I am. I was scared and shy from my dad because we have not interacted too much. So I was very shy to confront him. I never felt to have a mom because my grandma had took great care of me as her own children or even more. Mom was not a issue, because I thought I had one already.

At the age of 3, I think I never felt anything emotional but as I was growing and seeing other children around me I became more scared and lonely inside. There was missing something from my Life and that was my parents. I remember writing on the walls I hate my dad and all. I became a complete fool It felt like that despite of having everything, u still have nothing. My dad as a responsible man take care of my education and everythingelse by sending money to my grandpa who was very conservative and very harsh in someway because of what I felt to have a dad at some point. My whole life has been a great experience. Although many people would find it as a very normal thing and may think that even worse things happened to many people but It is not something I am sharing to gain some sympathy or Love, I am sharing it because I want to tell those many people that Life is teaching you different experiences everytime so don't let it go crying learn somthing from it. I am proud to say I have learnt my lessons that has taught to me. So now I am grown up & I love children, and I am not going to treat them the way I have been treated years ago. Many people treat others just the way they have been treated. They may call it a revenge or after effects but I call it one's psyche, So Enjoy Life as much as you can. Love the people who hate you. Forgive and forget. Life is what you make it. So make it beautiful. =) My whole Life is a sacrifice for my parents and I do not want to hurt them anyway. I obey their orders Just as they say and I am Happy but an unknown feeling inside me pinch me everyday telling me that my parents are alive living in the same World and It hurts because I never got a feeling of LOVE from them as a parent.

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