My Story

My Story

Throughout my life I have been sad and lonely. I've always felt so worthless in the eyes of others. Through my childhood I was always picked on. It kept escalating as the years went by. It got so bad I've felt like I didn't want to live anymore. I would literally hide in my room and cry my days away.

In my first year of high school I felt like I still knew nobody in my grade. That year was horrible for me. I was literally at guidance everyday. I felt like the office was the only place I ever fit in.

But there was a little something I was hiding and my feelings were all bottled up inside. I had a secret crush on a guy, it was like love at first sight, but without us ever speaking. I was always so afraid of rejection I never bothered talking to people, not even my secret crush. The only people I felt like I was ever talking to about how I felt were my mom and a few teachers.

I felt like I was in a stage of depression. Some days I would even cry at school for no reason. I couldn't tell anyone what was wrong because I didn't even know. I would just think about things I have dealt with in my life and how I had no friends and start crying uncontrollably, not being able to stop.

After that horrible year in 9th grade things started to get a little better but not completely. I felt better in 10th grade, mainly because it wasn't just my grade in school, it was two higher grades too. That year I still made no friends, but that year opened my eyes to things. I thought maybe things aren't going to be so bad next year in 11th grade.

When I entered 11th grade my mind rang true. I just started opening up to people. I started loving me for me and not letting anything else anybody said or did affect me, I just ignored it.

Also, when I entered the 12th grade my mind rang true again. I was continuing to open up to people and talk to them. I still loved me for me, and people started to back off, once I didn't let anything anybody else said or did get to me, I just kept ignoring it.

It all started in Spanish class when I met a guy. We instantly became friends. We would laugh all the time. But at lunch I still had no place to sit. I would always be left at the misfit and awkward table.

But that year I didn't let things stop me. I soon started talking to him in Spanish and asked him if I would sit with him at lunch and he said sure. That's when I met the greatest guy in the world.

After I met the greatest guy, I started becoming happier and felt less lonely. It was like there was this instant connection and it literally seemed like I finally fell for him after all these years of secretly liking him.

He's the nicest guy, we even went to prom together, and that is how much we liked each other. However, there was a semi-long period of time I was getting mad and annoyed. I started not talking to him at all, but after that period I started to feel bad, his sad face kept popping into my head, and I realized he was my only true friend.

So I got the courage to text him and see how he was doing. He forgave me and said he was not even mad, that he understood. He told me he was incapable of getting mad at me. At that instant I felt loved again, like I was worth something in the world and that I ultimately had something to life for. I was not going to give up, not that fast. At that moment my life truly finally changed for the better. I was just being myself and not letting others get in the way of my hopes and dreams. I wasn't letting anyone stop me and I wasn't giving up that fast.