School Life

         My school life was no better than my home life.I went to school every day and had no friends. People who I called friends betrayed me. I started sitting alone at recess in elementary away from other people. I felt alone yes but nobody really cared it seemed. So I stayed to myself. I guess that is where my depression started. I learned later on that what I was doing was isolating myself. I sung out loud to myself during recess. It made me look like a fool but at the time I could care less. I got followed around during recess by people I called my friends. During class from Kindergarten and even into highschool I got teased. Other students threw things at me, kicked my desk, called me names.
         There comes a point where a person can't handle it. I started getting in trouble. I started yelling at kids. Telling them to leave me the fuck alone. When they did not listen to me I went to the teachers and told them. When they did not do anything to help me. I turned to the principle and even then nothing changed. I finally gave up on it stopping. I figured that I deserved what I got after awhile. That I was different from others. I never did fit in.
         I reached my limit in 5th grade. I started self harming, nothing major. Small things, paperclips, thumbtacks, gave myself paper cuts. Things that nobody would notice I thought. But some people did notice, my parents for one noticed but they were the only ones and they didn't even notice right away. It is pretty sad that the people you are around almost all day and night do not notice when something is wrong you. But I got used to it after awhile. I will go into more detail with th at in the next chapter though.