Ode to Testosterone

O, testosterone!

You turned a whimp into a man,
You put the peter in Peter Pan,
You put the bone in the trombone, testosterone.

You make us want to get primeval,
You're always there when there's an upheaval,
You put the evil in Evel Knievel, testosterone.

You put the stones in the Rolling Stones, testosterone.

You make the fireman want to fight the fire,
You make the mountain climber want to climb higher,
You put the balls in Great Balls 'O Fire, testosterone.

O, testosterone!

You put the hard in hard rock,
You put the fight in the cock,
You put the bang in old Bangkok, testosterone.

You put the whore in hormone, testosterone.

You put the male in the alpha male,
You put the cock in the cocktail,
You put the sperm in the whale, testosterone.

You put the drone in the combat zone, testosterone.

You make our hearts go patter pitter,
You make us lust for the babysitter,
You made the Congressman all a-Twitter, testosterone.

You put the whore in hormone testosterone.

They don't need another reason to hate us,
To berate and un-consumate us,
And leave us home, all alone, on our own.

So even if you think you're a hunk,
You better not go tweetin' your junk,
An arctic zone will be your home, and you'll be holding your own.

You better find more useful uses,
For all your youthful juices,
And put the home in home sweet home, testosterone.

You put the home in home sweet home, testosterone.
You put the whore in hormone, testosterone.



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