"Mouth-A-Matic"

My mouth - That’s it, yeah I said it.  There it is, I actually wrote it down.  You’d think in fifty-one years I would have done that already.  Not.  Yeah, a tough one that mouth of mine.  It’s too hasty to open and too quick to respond.  Open mouth insert shoe store! 

People still like asking me for advice, though.  Not sure why anyone would want to.  What do I know?  My mother told me once if I would stop telling people everything I know, I’d be smarter than them - that's when I asked her if she passed ‘sharing” in sandbox.  She said, “What’s that supposed to mean?”  I finally took her advice about how to be smarter and didn't answer her question.

I’ve tried not talking too much, but I got tired of people asking me what I meant.  I get a lot of “Quit using those ten dollar words” responses from folks.  I guess fancy words intimidate people.  I don’t mean to.  I just know a lot of words.  Makes no sense though, I never did like to read much.  Ya-a-a-wn..... 

I think my head works overtime and my mouth tries to match it.  I can’t see much reason to change though.  I like being the topic of interest.  I figure if people think I’m that interesting, I must be leaving an impression.  Why discourage that?  One thing I’m sure of, I’m not one of those people who talks all the time but has nothing to say.  Y-y-y-yuck! 

Speaking of talking . . . I went out with this guy who was always saying “Huh?” in the middle of me saying something - I hated it.  Finally I asked him if he had trouble hearing.  He said, “No”.  Then I asked him why he said "huh" all the time.  He said, “I dunno.”  So I said, “Is it because you can’t hear me or because you didn’t understand what I meant?”  And again he said “I dunno.”  (Bo-o-oring.)  So I said, “I think it’s because you don't bother to listen to what I’m saying until you hear something that peaks your interest and then you make me say it all over again.”  He said “Yea, I think that's what it is.  How did you know?”, and I replied, “I dunno.” 

At the end of our last date he asked me if I'd like to go out again.  I said, “No. I talk way too much to constantly be repeating myself.”  He asked, “Why don't you want to go?”  I said “Huh?”